You and Me and One Spotlight
by leyton-is-lovee
Summary: Set after 5x06. Lucas and Peyton are at odds and there are only more things about to stand in the way. Can they find their way back? Can get ever get their happily ever after? Eventually LP. Complete!
1. Light Up the Sky

**I still don't own One Tree Hill. The title of the story is from the song "You and Me and One Spotlight" by Yellowcard. The name of this chapter is "Light Up the Sky" also by Yellowcard.**

This picks up right after the Leyton fight (amazing scene) in 5x06. there's a longer authors note at the end.

* * *

_And it's still so hard to be who you are _

_So you play this part, and the show goes on _

_That you come this far with a broken heart _

_Yeah, you come this far and you're broken..._

Peyton stormed into the house, slamming the door shut behind her. She brushed past the living room and turned the corner into her bedroom. She slammed that door too and threw herself onto the bed. She could feel the anger running through her veins and honestly couldn't remember the last time she had felt like this. A giggle from the living room broke her from her thoughts. She left the room and walked to the living room.

Peyton stood in the doorway with her arms folded over her chest. Her breath caught in her throat at the sight.

"Brooke?" she croaked out. The brunette's head snapped to face the blonde.

"Hey P. Sawyer", she said as she tried to wipe her eyes. Peyton slowly walked over to the couch.

"What are you watching?" she sat next to Brooke and Brooke draped the blanket over the two of them. Before she could answer two small girls filled the screen.

They squealed in delight and ran around Peyton's yard. Soon enough an older woman was seen chasing them. She picked Peyton up and spun her around; Brooke looked on with a pout. Anna returned her pout and scooped the small brunette up into her arms.

"Home movies", Brooke said with a sad smile.

"God, what are five there?"

"Yeah, things were simple then you know? I could always come there for anything", she referred to Peyton's house.

"What happened?" Peyton asked with concern. Brooke laughed bitterly.

"Oh the usual, I told Victoria I loved her, she said whatever."

"I'm seriously going to kick her ass", Peyton said seriously.

"You'll have to wait in line", she muttered, "I just wish I had that support and motherly figure", Brooke shook her head and Peyton brought her in for a hug.

"You do have that B. My mom's watching and she is so proud of you", Brooke sniffled and pulled back to look at Peyton.

"Thanks . . . she's proud of you too you know."

"There's not a whole lot to be proud of."

"What had you storming into the house before?" Brooke asked as she and Peyton calmed their selves.

"Oh the usual, Luc-ass", both girls giggled at the immature nickname, "showed up and started talking about how I wasn't the same Peyton he used to know."

"He really likes to push it doesn't he?" Brooke asked with a scowl.

"And then before I knew it we were yelling and I was throwing things and then I told—"

"You threw things?" Brooke asked with a smirk. Peyton put her head down and let out a sigh before meeting Brooke's eyes.

"It was his book", she muttered, "well _books_", she clarified.

"Peyton, what the hell?"

"He came into the office like an hour ago – to make a long story short, we talked about the proposal and everything blew up", the brunette stared at her friend with sympathetic eyes.

"Peyton . . ."

"I know, and then he said I never cared about him and it was just craziness. Before I knew it I told him I was going to pay rent. I have no money! It's impossible for me to do that", Brooke laughed, "I don't find this humorous."

"I'll give you whatever you need", Brooke said with a wave of her hand. Peyton shook her head.

"No, as much as I hate your mother, she's right. I need to do something on my own", Brooke knew how determined Peyton was so she simply nodded.

"Well, if you need anything I'm always here."

"How about some ice cream and home movies?" Peyton said with a grin.

-x-

Lucas flew into his room and slammed the door shut behind him. He threw himself onto the bed and let out a throaty sigh.

None of that was supposed to happen. He just wanted to talk to her; try to establish a friendship. He didn't know what it was, but he always felt the need to look over her. God, the look in her eyes when she was yelling at him was something he will never forget. It broke his heart and turned him on all at the same time.

"Something wrong?" Lindsey asked from her spot in the doorway. Lucas cleared his throat and calmed his actions.

"No, it's nothing", he muttered. She nodded and slowly walked to the bed.

"On my way over here I passed TRIC", Lucas shut his eyes tightly; "wanna tell me why your car was in the lot too?"

"Linds, I just wanted to make sure she was okay . . . she's got a lot going on right now."

"Luke, I understand that, I just wish you would tell me or you would at least ask me."

"You want me to ask you if I can see her?" he asked incredulously.

"No", she said quickly. Lindsey took a breath and thought over her words. "Lucas, she doesn't like me and I don't really like her; I just wish you would understand that I feel threatened", she said softly.

Lucas furrowed his brows. It felt like he was in high school all over again; he almost wanted to call her _Brooke_. Then again, Brooke had every reason to be concerned; he was very much so pining away for the curly blonde. He swallowed his pride, or maybe it was guilt and spoke.

"I only went over there because she's my friend", he said rationally.

"Most guys aren't friends with their ex's", she pointed out.

"Peyton's different", he argued, "we've always been friends; that'll always be there", he told her with finality.

His girlfriend let out a noise that was a cross between a groan and a dejected sigh. "I feel like everything we do involves her in some way. I mean look at us! We never fought like this and now your ex-girlfriend comes into town and all we've done is fight."

Lucas wished he could deny what she was saying, but it was useless. Lindsey was right; everything she was saying was completely true. They weren't a couple that fought, with them it had never been about intense arguments and heated words. It was never anything like what he and Peyton had encountered just an hour ago. He cursed himself . . . there she was again. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, he was pretty sure the next sentence was going to bite him in the ass.

"Well then, we'll just have to do our best to avoid her," Lindsey sent him a confused stare and shook her head.

"Lucas, I don't want you to avoid her because of what I just said."

"Lindsey, you're my girlfriend and you're not asking me to do anything. I decided this on my own. You're right; you and Peyton don't get along and whatever else is going on is affecting our relationship and that's the last thing I want", he tucked her hair behind her ear. "From here on out it's me and you", he assured her.

The brunette grinned and pulled Lucas closer to her. "Thank you, Luke. This means a lot to me", she whispered before kissing him. She stood and headed into the bathroom to change for the night.

He laid his head on his pillow and let out a sigh. He would probably be able to avoid Peyton in person, but if he learned one thing in the past three years it was that his dreams were a different story.

-x-

He walked into the building he had seen a few times before. That was years ago though, they were still in high school the last time he was here. He was a different person now. He was a better person.

He walked past the bar and noted the large dark haired man glaring at him.

"Peyton Sawyer here?" he asked coolly. The other man raised a brow and nodded to the back room. He tipped his head in thanks and headed for the room with the soft light on. He stopped in the doorway and stared as she diligently typed away on her computer. She was still as driven as she was in high school, he couldn't deny that.

"This the home of Peyton Sawyer Records?" the deep voice asked.

Peyton kept her eyes on her work and let out a sigh. She didn't want visitors; she needed to find a way to make money and fast. Yesterday she told Lucas she would pay rent and she would be damned if she went back on that.

"Yes, and this is Peyton Sawyer, what can I help you with?"

The man smirked and walked into the space. "I was hoping you could help me make a record."

Her head snapped up and she stared in disbelief.

_Light up the sky _

_Let me light up the sky_

* * *

Alright, so this is going to be strictly season 5 and will be an LP, but there will be the usual bumps. I know I have the other story out there and I haven't forgotten about it, actually I have two chapters for that done, but I wanted to throw this out there and see how you all responded. Who do you think the mystery man is? Let me know what you think.


	2. Sick Cycle Carousel

**Still don't own it, nor do I own "Sick Cycle Carousel" by Lifehouse.**

Whoa, I am completely overwhelmed by the amount of reviews this has gotten already. Thanks so much for all of them. Here is another update just because you're all amazing. I updated **Keep Holding On** also, check it out!

* * *

_So when will this end it goes on and on_

_Over and over and over again_

_Keep spinning around I know that it won't stop _

_Till I step down from this for good_

"Brooke Penelope Davis!" Peyton screeched as she walked into the store.

"I'm gonna go do inventory", Millicent mumbled before turning on her heels and leaving the room.

She had been expecting this all day; she was almost waiting for it. Brooke shut her eyes and gathered a large breath before facing her best friend.

"Hey P. Sawyer", she said with a smile that was not reciprocated. Peyton wagged her finger in the air.

"Don't you P. Sawyer me! How could you, Brooke?"

The brunette let out a defeated sigh and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Peyton, you need money", she pointed out.

"Did you not think that I could do this on my own?" she asked with hard eyes.

"Peyton, you know I believe in you completely. You just needed it done a little faster, that's all."

"Brooke—"

"Look, you're my friend and you needed help. I just made a few calls and promised to name a handbag after someone, everything is still up to you", she assured the blonde.

Peyton relaxed at the sincerity in her friend's voice. "I'm sorry. I guess I'm just freaking out over having to work with him."

"Peyton, you know what you're doing. Everything will be fine", Brooke said positively. She returned to her date book and circled a meeting with MACY'S in big red marker.

"Thanks, it's just that Chris is temperamental", she said for lack of a better word. The marker Brooke was using made a line across the page.

"Whoa, hold the phone! Chris Keller?" she said with wide eyes.

"You didn't know?" Peyton asked doubtfully.

Brooke shook her head. "I only called and said that I needed a musician that was ready to record, like now. Nobody ever said it was him."

Peyton took in Brooke's genuine shock and knew she was telling the truth. "Well then, SURPRISE!" Peyton mocked excitement.

Brooke opened and closed her mouth before finally letting out a laugh. She covered her mouth as a snort left her nose.

"I do not find anything about this laughable", Peyton said with a glare.

"Oh come on, this is great. It's Chris Keller."

"Yeah, I know."

"Peyton, Lucas hates him", she spoke between breaths as her laughter died down.

"How does this help me?" she asked as she tilted her head.

"Because maybe we could use little old Keller to spice things up" her raspy voice said with a smirk.

"I'm not getting involved with him", Peyton said defiantly as she grimaced at the thought.

Brooke rolled her eyes. "You don't have to get involved, just you and Chris being in the same room will set something off. Trust me."

"I'm not interested in setting anything off, Brooke. Lucas has a girlfriend."

"Are you trying to tell me the whole reason you came back had **nothing** to do with him?" Peyton looked away and Brooke smirked in satisfaction, but decided not to press it.

"I guess we can focus on your music stuff, but I'm telling you it might be fun."

"Chris is my employee, nothing more and nothing less."

------------------------------

Chris walked in behind Peyton and glanced at his surroundings. He didn't know her that well, but the room seemed to fit her perfectly. The only problem was the plant on her desk, who the hell kept bamboo around?

"So this is where we'll always meet? This the space squinty so humbly gave you?" he asked as he sat in the chair across from her.

"Squinty?" she asked with a soft chuckle.

"Yeah, Lucas. He always does that thing", Chris explained and then demonstrated the best he could. Peyton laughed before shaking her head. This was Chris Keller. They didn't joke; hell she didn't even like the guy.

"For now . . . it's a temporary office", she said unsurely.

"Ookay", he drew out with a questioning glace. She ignored his stare and spoke.

"So when can you get into the recording studio?"

"As soon as tomorrow, but I have something else I want to do first", she raised a brow at his cryptic answer.

"I wanna play TRIC tonight", he said as more of an order then a request.

Peyton rolled her eyes. "First of all I have no say in TRIC."

"Look Blondie—"

"Don't call me that", Peyton cut him off. Chris eyed her for a moment and saw the true flash of pain in her eyes. Whatever happened between her and Lucas really messed her up.

He may not have been in the Tree Hill loop back in the day, but after spending months on a tour bus with Haley he felt like he knew them all and then Lucas's book came out. He bought it out of interest and then stayed up the entire night reading it. He was no genius, but it didn't take a rocket scientist to know that Lucas and Peyton weren't together like they were in the book.

"Sorry" he said softly.

She met his eyes and raised a brow. "That almost sounded sincere, Keller."

"It was", he said honestly. Peyton nodded, she was momentarily thrown off by his sincerity. She gathered her thoughts and cleared her throat.

"Like I said I have no say in what goes on in TRIC."

"I'm sure you can pull some strings", he smirked. Peyton groaned; he was right. After Lucas had given her this space Karen called and told her that if she came across any bands that she felt were good, she could have them perform.

She watched as Chris waggled his brows. Technically he wasn't a _band_.

"Sorry, but the answer is—"

"I'll pay you", he cut her sentence off. Her mouth hung open in shock, but quickly closed it before the fly's started to land.

"Why would you do that?"

He shrugged. "You need money to pay off Lucas and you currently have none. I remember how hard headed you can be and considering whatever is going on with you two seems pretty intense I'd hate for you to have to go back on your word", she nodded her head and bit her lip. It was almost like Chris had become a different person then the one she knew four years ago. "Besides, I'll be bringing in plenty of money once this record hits", he said smugly. She shook her head and those thoughts flew out. Still the same ass.

"Okay", she conceded nonetheless.

"It's set then", he said with a smile as he clapped his hands together, "tonight the Keller returns. Tell all your friends", he grinned and stood before stopping to reach into his pocket.

"Here", he tossed some money onto the desk. "That should cover whatever he's asking for."

Before she could tell him differently he was gone.

------------------------------

He sat at the table sipping his beer. Lindsey was off somewhere with Haley and he was left here to wallow; although that's not what he was meant to do. He didn't even wanna be here. Haley had called and told Lindsey that everyone was going to TRIC tonight because there was going to be a live performer.

He swallowed another sip of his beer and winced. At some point during their fight the other day she had clipped him with a book and the result was a slightly swollen cheek. This was the main reason he didn't want to leave the house. How was he supposed to explain that his ex-girlfriend caused that? He swallowed hard as Peyton walked over to him. She was the other reason he didn't want to be here. He needed to do his best to keep away from her and being in the same room wasn't going to help that.

"Here", she said as she slipped the piece of paper to him.

"What is this?"

"It's a rent check . . . sorry it's late", she crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"I told you I don't want your money", he said as he handed it back over.

"It's not mine, its Chris's."

"Who?" he asked with a furrowed brow. Peyton smirked inwardly.

"Chris Keller's, he's the performer tonight and the newest addition to the record label."

The knot in Lucas's brow deepened. Chris Keller? He quickly recovered from his shock and spoke. "Listen, I don't care whose money it is. I do not want it", he said adamantly.

"Keep it, it's probably the last one you'll be getting", she said before walking away.

Lucas watched her leave with a puzzled expression. Last one? He checked to make sure that Lindsey was no where in sight and he followed after her.

"What do you mean last one?" he asked as she entered her office.

"You know, if you keep hanging out with me you're gonna get into trouble", she warned with a smirk. He brushed her comment off.

"Peyton, I don't want you to feel like you have to leave", he said sincerely.

"I need to though. Lucas, yesterday never should have happened, it was completely uncalled for."

"Yeah, you didn't really need to throw stuff at me."

"You didn't need to come here in the first place", she argued. He nodded his head in anger.

"It's not my fault you're my friend", he said incredulously.

"It's your fault that we're not more", she whispered.

"Excuse me?" he growled.

"You couldn't wait! But I shouldn't be surprised" she shouted like she did yesterday.

"What the hell does that mean?"

"It means that whenever I need time, you screw someone else", she spat at him.

"That's not true."

"Really?" she asked as she rolled her eyes, "Let's take a little trip down memory lane shall we?" she spoke as she stepped closer to him.

"Peyton—" he really didn't want to do this. Not here and not now.

"No—maybe you're right, maybe I'm completely wrong in all of this, so lets think back. After I turned you down at Dan's 'money burn' you jumped into bed with Brooke. After I told you I wanted to try and spare Brooke's feelings about us and broke up with you, you slept with Nikki. Then after you propose and I don't give you the answer you want, you start something with your editor . . . am I missing anything?" she was practically in his face, screaming at him; again.

He felt the anger inside of him boil over. How could she say all those things? He was also angry because deep down, on some level, he knew they were true.

"NO! – Okay, you're right. Is that what you wanna hear?" he pointed his finger at her accusingly. Peyton took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"Look, I'm sorry for saying those things I just need to find another office", she said softly. Lucas stared at her with concerned eyes. It amazed him how they could go from screaming at each other one minute to being so gentle the next.

"Peyton, I told you that's not necessary", he said in a calmer voice.

"Yes it is, Lucas. I can't be here anymore. I need to find a space that's mine and mine alone", she fidgeted with her hands and hoped he would leave it at that.

"Look, I won't stop by unannounced anymore", he promised.

"That's not it", she lied. "I just . . . I need a place that feels like my own. I need to be away from everyone around here, you and Lindsey included."

"Why?" he pried. She felt herself getting angry over his constant need to know every detail of her life; he had no right to anymore.

"Because you're everywhere. Lucas I haven't stopped thinking about you since you vanished on me three years ago. I go to bed with you on my mind and I wake up with you there. I need to have a place that has no connection to you. I close my eyes and you're there! I open my eyes and you're there! Pictures, memories, my yearbook, my art, and now my music! You're fucking everywhere!"

He lurched back at her tone and the words she used. How was it his fault she still had these things going on?

"I've moved on Peyton, why haven't you?!"

"Maybe because I'm still in lo-", her voice softened from a yell to a whisper, "love with you."

Silence.

The only noise heard was their ragged breaths and thumping hearts. Lucas blinked his eyes in shock. Had he heard her right? Did he imagine that?

Peyton placed her hand over her mouth, "I'm sorry", she muttered as she began to walk away. She brushed past the other blonde and made it about a foot before she felt his hand on hers. His blue eyes met her green ones as he turned her around.

Before she could say a word his mouth covered hers.

_Sick cycle carousel_

_This is a sick cycle carousel, yeah_

_Sick cycle carousel _

_This is a sick cycle, yeah

* * *

_

Starting the drama early lol. This won't be that long of a fic, probably only ten chapters maybe a little more or less. Let me know what you think!


	3. No Good

**Still own nothing, not even "No Good" by Kate Voegele.**

I know . . . the third update in a week! Think of this as a Valentine's Day gift to you all; your girt to me can be your reviews. The last part has some dialogue from 5x07 and what we've seen of 5x08.

Firstly, I love you all for the amount of reviews you have given me. Honestly, it means a lot. Secondly, reviews for Tuesday's episode are on the bottom. You can all imagine how I feel about it.

Thirdly, enjoy!

* * *

_Well I should know so much better than this _

_But you've occupied the center of my universe_

Brooke stepped out of her car and headed up the path. She was dressed in her most comfortable sweats; Clothes over Bros of course, and a pair of simple sneakers. Her hair was tired back into a sleek ponytail and she had simple makeup on.

Brooke Davis was on a mission.

She was going to stop by TRIC and continue to shamelessly flirt with Owen. Then she was going to have a serious chat with Victoria. She hadn't seen Jamie in what felt like forever so she decided to take him for ice cream later.

But first, she needed to know why Peyton was more broody then usual.

"Brooke?"

Which is exactly why she was here. Anything involving Peyton and brooding typically came back to this boy.

"We need to talk", she cut straight to the point. She stepped past Lucas and walked into the kitchen she was once very familiar with.

"What's up?" he asked casually.

"Something's wrong with Peyton and she isn't talking to me about it. Did something happen between you two last night? And I'm only asking because she and I talked and I involved you and I just wanna know", she said as she shrugged her shoulders.

There was no use in trying to lie to Brooke Davis because she'd always find out and then she'd be pissed because you lied to her. Lucas looked over his shoulder before facing Brooke's demanding eyes. "We kissed", he said softly.

Her eyes bulged out of her head and she slapped her hand over her mouth to muffle the squeal. "Oh my God. This is amazing! How was it? How did it happen? I bet it was like the best thing ever! Did your bones melt?"

"My bones?" he asked with a confused smile.

"Well, yeah. She used to tell me that kissing you made her bones melt, did it happen to you?" she asked with a grin. Lucas stood there speechless. Her kisses did so much more then melt his bones.

"Wait", Brooke interrupted his thoughts. "Why was she so upset last night?"

"Huh?" Lucas mocked confusion. He walked over to the refrigerator.

Brooke eyed him as he walked away. "Last night she came home hysterical crying and locked herself in her room. She refused to tell me what happened."

The blonde boy gathered a breath and let it out slowly. He hated the fact that he had upset Peyton like that.

He rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, well . . . we; it was . . ."

Brooke watched his movements and furrowed her brows. "Lucas, why didn't she tell me? Why the hell was my best friend storming into the house and crying at one in the morning?" she asked as she took a threatening step closer. He took a step back and before he could speak Lindsey walked into the house with a phone cradled in the crook of her neck.

"Brooke!" she all but screamed. Lindsey told the person to hold on and Brooke smiled politely. As she opened her mouth Lindsey stuck her hand in the air. "Lucas proposed last night!"

Brooke dropped her mouth in shock and out of normal reaction she took Lindsey's hand in her own. "Wow, this is—" her sentence trailed off as she stared at the ring. She sent a sideways glance to Lucas and saw him fidget.

She had seen that ring before.

She had worn that ring before.

She swallowed hard. "Great, it's great", she plastered a fake smile to her lightly polished lips.

"I know", Lindsey said dreamily as she glanced at Lucas. "You have to make my wedding dress", she begged.

Brooke's eyes widened, but she quickly hid it. "Things are crazy right now, but if I have time I promise I will", she blatantly lied. Lindsey frowned slightly before nodding her head understandingly.

"Alright, but call me the second you think you have free time", she begged again as she walked over to kiss Lucas on the cheek before walking into the living room to continue her conversation.

As soon as she was out of earshot Brooke pointed a finger at him.

"Asshole!" she hissed before storming out of the house. He threw his head back and groaned.

"Babe phone", Lindsey said softly. He raised a brow in question. "It's Haley."

He took the phone from her with a soft smile. He put it up to his ear and went to speak.

"Asshole!"

-x-

Lucas sat in his office in Tree Hill High going over plays. Well, he was supposed to be doing that. The only thoughts that were occupying his mind was the screaming he got from his best friend. He didn't know how she found out, but Haley James knew about the kiss and obviously the proposal and she was beyond pissed.

Loud clapping caused his head to shoot up.

"I've got to tell you, you really know how to screw with people."

"Not now Nathan", he warned. The younger Scott furrowed his brows.

"Don't give me an attitude because you fucked up", he said simply.

"I asked my girlfriend to marry me. That hardly constitutes as fucking up", he mocked bitterly.

"I would agree with you, if you hadn't kissed your ex-girlfriend right beforehand", he spat out.

Lucas stared at his brother. "You're the one who told Haley?"

"Hell yeah I told Haley. Unlike you, I don't keep secrets from the people I love."

Lucas gritted his teeth. "What the hell were you doing spying on me?"

Nathan scoffed. "I wanted to congratulate Peyton for getting someone to play TRIC and getting another artist on her label. I wasn't expecting you to be making out with her."

"We didn't make out! It was a kiss, it meant nothing", he said.

"A kiss always means something, big brother", Nathan echoed words from years before.

"Look, I shouldn't have kissed her. I love Lindsey and I want to marry her", he said with as much conviction as he could.

Nathan nodded patronizingly. "So you can look me in the eyes and tell me that Lindsey's the one?" he challenged.

Lucas swallowed hard and stared at the blue eyes that mirrored his. He couldn't lie to someone that knew him inside and out. "Lindsey will always be my second choice, but I'm her first and that's enough for me", he said honestly.

Nathan laughed bitterly and shook his head. "Do you have any idea what this is doing to Peyton?"

Lucas felt his anger boiling. "Do you?" he countered. Nathan gave him a pointed look and Lucas continued. "Have you even had a real conversation with her other then when she dragged your pathetic ass to the hospital?" Nathan took a step forward and Lucas stepped out from behind his desk.

"Don't act like I don't care about her", he warned.

"Well, you sure don't act like it. If I remember correctly, at the dinner we had at your house you didn't try and defend her", the blonde argued.

"I couldn't exactly tell her not to talk about Peyton like that, that she was my best friend; even though that's just what I wanted to do. She's your girlfriend Luke, everybody loves Lindsey", he said as he threw his hands up and wiggled his fingers.

"You're right, and that everyone includes me", he said in finality.

Nathan nodded and turned to leave the office. He stopped in the doorway and had some parting words for the older Scott.

"Leave Peyton alone, you're the last person she needs acting like they care about her."

-x-

Lucas sat in his chair with his back to his door. Today wasn't exactly the day he was expecting. Weren't people supposed to congratulate you when you got engaged? So far today he had been called names and threatened with bodily harm. He didn't even know where Lindsey was, but she was no where to be found when he got home an hour ago.

He heard the door open and leisurely spun around. He sat up straight at the person he saw. He opened his mouth, but the curly blonde cut him off.

"Don't do it", her voice croaked.

Her eyes were puffy and she was wearing the same clothes she had on last night when she showed up on his doorstep. She had black lines down her face and her curls were frizzy, but his breath still managed to catch in his throat. He knew what she was referring to and he shook his head in protest.

"Peyton, last night I told you that I moved on . . . you need to also", he kept his voice at a whisper.

"That explains why you kissed me", she said bitterly. He raked his hand through his short blonde hair.

"I was confused and it just happened; I'm sorry. Peyton, I'm marrying Lindsey, you can't come here and—"

"I should have said yes", she said softly. His eyes widened and he held his hand up to stop her.

"Pey—"

"No, Lucas we were so young and I was scared. If I had known that by not saying yes I would never be with you then I would have said yes in a heartbeat; you have to know that", her eyes burned and hiccups were already forming. Lucas's jaw clenched and his eyes slowly watered.

"You're right, we were young and probably weren't ready for it. I'm with Lindsey now", he said firmly.

"She's not good enough for you", she used his own words against him. His eyes widened in shock and she spoke again. "Not so great to hear, is it?"

He pushed the voices out of his head and opened his mouth. "Lindsey is perfect. She's my fiancée and then she'll be my wife."

She was so sick of him saying that. She knew he was with someone, but she also knew that she was in his heart; she had to be. She turned from him and looked around his room there had to be a way to make him see that. Her eyes landed on his closet and she swung the doors open.

"Where is it?" she asked as she searched his closet.

"Where's what?" he asked as he stood from his chair. She stopped to face him briefly.

"The box."

He watched as she pulled clothes from their hangers and threw sneakers out into the open. She searched the highest shelves she could reach and she didn't find anything.

"I don't have that anymore."

"Bullshit! Where is it!?" she yelled as she darted across the room. She opened his drawers and pushed the clothing aside. Socks and boxers and wifebeaters littered his floors.

"Peyton, I'm not lying", he said softly as he watched her crazed movements. She walked over to his desk and he unconsciously stepped in front of his section of drawers; a move that went unnoticed. "I got rid of it after I got back from LA."

"I know you're lying! You would never get rid of that", she said confidently.

"How can you be so sure?" he asked curiously.

"Because, that box was everything we were, everything we are! Because you kept that box as a reminder of everything we went through to be together! Because you knew it was worth it. The pain and heartache and suffering. It was all worth it" her voice broke and tears trickled from her eyes. "Because, you're you and I'm me and this", she frantically motioned between them, "it's always gonna be there. You told me that!" she yelled as tears poured down her face.

That hit a nerve and there was nothing he could do to stop the few tears from running down his own cheeks. "We're not those people anymore", he whispered with a hoarse voice.

"Yes I am!" she argued. "I'm still Peyton Sawyer, I'm the girl you wrote your book about", she repeated Brooke's words from the night before. "And you're Lucas! You're the boy I lost my friendship over twice for. You're the one who breaks down my walls and sees right into my soul. I'm the one you wanted next to you when your dreams came true and when they didn't!" she reminded him.

Silence past between them. When Peyton thought she had her emotions in check she spoke.

"Lucas, my dreams are finally coming true and I need you beside me. This entire thing means nothing if you're not there", a sob worked its way out and Lucas had to grasp onto his desk to keep from gathering her into his arms.

"I'm sorry", he said deeply. And he was. He was so sorry for everything he was putting her through right now.

"Don't marry her", Peyton begged again. Lucas shook his head apologetically.

"Peyton, I . . ."

She cupped his face and brought their foreheads together. Lucas unconsciously leaned his head up and nuzzled his nose with hers. Their lips were a hairsbreadth away; it was as if they were breathing the longing into each other. Their eyes were closed and when Peyton spoke her voice was barley above a whisper.

"I meant what I said last night. I'm still in love with you."

He slowly opened his eyes and took in every fine detail about her face. The way her nose was perfectly built for Eskimo kisses. How her lips were always perfectly puckered. Her cheeks were the perfect shade of red. He didn't need to see her eyes to know that they were green and peppered with specs of gold. Her eyes opened and the lashes fluttered against his skin. This made the next few words to leave his mouth that much harder.

"I'm in love with her, Peyton."

_I'm moving in reverse _

_Under your mighty curse _

_I hate myself for loving you _

_I turn my head away _

_But my heart will remain _

_Till the day I learn you're no good for me_

* * *

I seriously hope I did the LP scene justice. I rewrote it like five times lol. Let me know what you think.

Tuesday's episode. (Anyone who isn't up to season 5; I'm pretty sure you can watch it on youtube or the cwtv website)

Mouth and Millie are adorable, they're both dorky and it's just so cute.

Naley's live in slutbag needs to drown in that damn pool. Seriously who the hell is she? I loved that Nathan turned the light off.

Haley, I'm sorry, but I think she's too damn judgmental. I love her, but sometimes it seems like she has her nose in the air; not everyone has the same morals. Nathan was standing up for you! It's what husbands and men in general should do. Lucas and Peyton love each other; let them kiss.

I love Brooke. Everything she said was great, I love the whole "Game on bitch" it's great that they can joke about that; it shows how far they've come. Owen's a hottie; she needs to go for it.

Leyton. I can't even write this without getting aggravated. Okay Peyton kissed him; even though I hate the fact that she did it, he pulled her back! And did you see his eyes when she told him she loved him?! My God, they are wonderful actors. The engagement . . . my roommates and I have a theory, well I have the theory that Lindsey was looking around or something and she found the ring and therefore Lucas had to propose because he couldn't be like 'oh it's Peyton's' , although that whole idea makes me mad because every other girl has worn or seen Peyton's ring except for Peyton!


	4. Fix You

**I don't own One Tree Hill, nor do I own "Fix You" by Coldplay.**

Thanks so much for the reviews. You guys are amazing!

* * *

_And the tears come streaming down your face_

_When you lose something you can't replace_

_When you love someone but it goes to waste_

_Could it be worse?_

She had been running on autopilot since last week. After leaving Lucas's house she locked herself in her room and drew. She hadn't drawn in years and she was almost thankful for the burst of inspiration. _Almost_. She had been talking to Chris on the phone about recording and lyrics; she still wouldn't leave the house, but work was a necessity. It kept her mind off of things and the fact that Chris was a neutral party that knew nothing was a huge plus. As dawn peeked in through her window on her tenth day of solitude she decided that a run was exactly what she needed.

She pulled her running shorts and a tank top out of her drawers. According to mostly everyone in her life, Peyton Sawyer had been running her entire life. She ran from her feelings and from the people that loved her. Eventually she got tired of it simply being a term used to describe her and she turned it into a hobby.

After she changed she ventured into the empty kitchen and poured herself a cup of coffee, she watched the sunrise and let out a sad sigh.

"She emerges", Brooke said softly.

Peyton glanced at her best friend. "Hi B", she said with a hoarse voice.

Brooke stood in the archway awkwardly wringing her hands together. She shifted her weight from one leg to the other and let out a quiet sigh. She wanted to ask. She really, really, wanted to. Brooke knew how she felt about everything and the other night she went over to Naley's house and she certainly knew how they felt. But nobody had a clue as to what was running through their blonde's friend head.

"Just ask, Brooke", Peyton sighed.

Brooke sprung into action and took a seat on the stool across from her. "Are you okay?" she asked softly. Peyton internally rolled her eyes.

"I'm fine", she lied.

"Are you sure? Because I mean . . . if my ex-boyfriend kissed me and then—"

"What did you say?" Peyton asked with a glare. Brooke gulped and bit her lip.

"Umm, okay so I kinda went to see Lucas the day after TRIC, but only because you were so upset and I didn't know why", she defended her actions as Peyton's eyes grew.

"He told you about it? God, he is so unbelievable", she grumbled.

"Peyton, sweetie, were you so upset because you found out that night?" Brooke asked softly.

Peyton nodded and gathered her breath before talking. "I knocked on his door and she answered, she was crying and I thought he had told her about the kiss so I started to apologize", she laughed cynically. "Then she shoved her damn hand in front of my face and told me he proposed."

Brooke frowned as Peyton retold the story and was on her feet the second she was done. She spread her arms out and Peyton stepped back.

"I'm gonna go for a run", she mumbled before placing her mug in the sink.

As Brooke watched the front door close with her best friend on the other side she could only think of the shit that would hit the fan once she found out that was the ring that was meant for _her_.

------------------------------

Nathan walked down the stairs with a pair of basketball shorts on and a black wifebeater.

"Hey you", Haley said softly from the couch. Nathan smiled at his wife before changing directions and taking a seat next to her.

"Hey babe", he stared at her pensive look and furrowed his brows. "What's the matter?"

"My best friend has no morals", she said with a dead laugh. Nathan wrapped his arm around her and brought her flush against his body.

"Well, look at it this way . . . I'm related to that immoral ass", he said with clenched teeth.

"God he really is an ass. I mean how can he kiss one girl and then propose to another?" she asked in a rage.

"Maybe he's scared?" Nathan offered as a reason. Haley raised a brow and he continued. "I'm not defending anything he's done, but being overwhelmed wouldn't be a surprise. "The kind of love between him and Peyton doesn't come around too often, especially at our age", he said softly.

Haley stared up at him with her big doe eyes. "I'm sorry I yelled at you the other night at TRIC, you were just trying to stand up for me", he smiled down and her and kissed her forehead.

"It's alright . . . sorry I made you think I was gonna do more then yell at him."

Haley smiled and leaned further into his embrace. As her hand caressed the mesh material of his shorts she raised a brow. "We're you going somewhere?"

"Umm, I was hoping to go for a run", he admitted sheepishly.

"Nathan—"

Before she could continue the doorbell rang. Nathan stood and made his way over to the large wooden door.

"Hey", the curly blonde greeted as it opened. Nathan grinned and pulled her into his arms. He was glad that she was here, she had been locked in her room for the past week; he was also glad because of her attire . . . she was in full workout mode.

"How's it going?" guessing by the look on her face his question came out a lot more sympathetic then he meant.

"It's going great", she said with a shrug.

"Nathan who is – oh, Peyton", Nathan heard the tone his wife used and he looked back at his former girlfriend.

"Hales, we're gonna go for a run. See you later", he kissed her cheek quickly and rushed from the house before Haley could protest.

"Thanks for that", Peyton said quietly, "it's like everyone thinks I'm standing on the edge of a cliff waiting to jump", she laughed. Nathan stayed quiet and Peyton groaned before glancing his way. "I'm not you know? Going to throw myself off of a cliff."

"Yeah, I know, but can you blame us for being concerned?"

"Can you even run?" she changed the topic. Nathan grabbed her hand and stopped their walking; he placed his hands on her shoulders and spoke.

"Peyton, I consider you my best friend. If you ever want to talk or need to talk, I'm here for you", he said softly. Peyton smiled and wrapped her arms around his waist. She wasn't going to open up any time soon because . . . well denial was an old friend. But she was really glad to know that someone was there.

"Thanks Nate."

He smiled and kissed the top of her head. They broke from their embrace and Nathan sent her a smirk.

"I can still kick your ass", he said smugly as he returned to her topic.

Peyton snorted. "You willing to test that theory . . . gimpy."

Nathan scoffed and shoved her lightly. "On three. One . . . two . . . three!" Nathan shouted and held back to watch as Peyton sprinted down the block.

Lucas had said that she wasn't the same Peyton he used to know, but as far as he could tell she was the same.

She still had those damn walls up.

------------------------------

Chris and Peyton sat in her office going over a few of the different chords and tempos for some of his songs. Well, really it was Chris talking and Peyton nodding at everything that left his mouth. She had tried to make the most of her day, but really nothing had worked. Her run with Nathan only reminded her of the times she ran with Lucas. She had seen Jamie at the park with Carrie, but all he wanted to do was talk about his Uncle Lucas and the new basketball he gave him. After she had had too much she went home and showered.

Which brought her here. Chris was sitting besides her talking about his music and she mindlessly nodded. She knew she should be paying attention, but she couldn't. This was the first time all week she allowed herself to sit still and that gave her time to think about everything that led up to this moment.

_You still love me don't you?_

"So I was thinking that instead of keeping the tempo high all the time, I'd start out slow and once I hit the chorus everything would kick in", he stared at her expectantly.

_I have to go see Lindsey._

He raised a brow and waited in vain for a response. "And then I was thinking of taking my guitar and using it as a rocket to the sky", she nodded and he decided that he could have some fun with this.

_Trust me, I have been the Lindsey between Lucas and Peyton and it is not a pretty place to be._

"Last night after my performance, which you missed", he said pointedly, "I had girls throw themselves at me. Literally, I mean I had to catch them", she mumbled and nodded her head.

_Are you kidding? You're Peyton Sawyer; the guy wrote a whole book about how much he loves you._

"One was naked in my backseat after the show. I told her she needed to cover up . . . there was a cop around and I'm pretty sure she was a minor, so I threw her a blanket."

_It has always been Lucas and Peyton, you guys are meant to be together, that's the way it's supposed to be._

"I'm considering asking Haley to do another duet. I know the last time we did one it didn't end well, but this time I swear I would get her to sleep with me", he joked.

_Lindsey, I'm sorry, I never wanted to . . . _

"I was thinking that at all the performances I can call a girl on stage and just do it, right there in front of thousands. I know what you're thinking; it's crazy, but I've never been one to get performance anxiety . . .

_Lucas asked me to marry him._

"You've heard of my sex tape, right? A Night with the Keller. If you haven't I've got some extras . . . maybe me you and Brooke can umm, make a night of it", he wiggled his brows suggestively and then sighed when he still got no answer.

_Don't marry her._

"So after the whole record thing is done I'm thinking of joining a cult. I'm not sure why, but it seems like a good time; everyone coming together to do things. Of course I'm not big on blood, but who says you have to look at it before drinking it", he said with a shrug.

_I'm still in love with you._

"Jamie's really my kid. It's a long story that I'd rather not get in to", he said as he held his hands in front of him.

_I'm in love with her, Peyton._

"Damnit!" she yelled out as she ran a hand threw her curls. Chris flinched in shock at her outburst.

"You're back", he teased.

"What the hell are you talking about?" she asked in frustration.

"Nothing", he muttered, "what's going on with you today?" he asked hesitantly.

She looked at the man that she had hated in high school. He ruined Haley and Nathan's marriage. He had seduced Brooke and caused her pain. He was cocky, and smug, and anything but humble.

"Seriously, Peyton you're freaking me out."

The genuine concern in his voice caused Peyton to blink in shock. Maybe he really wasn't that guy anymore? Whatever it was she could knowingly look back at this moment and say without a doubt Chris Keller had set something off in her. Maybe it was those blue eyes?

"I told him he was everywhere and I made it seem like I hated that. I had said that I couldn't stand to be in the same room as him, that I never missed him, but I did. I missed him everyday. Hell, I still miss him; he's so close and still so far away from me. I told everyone that I didn't come back for him. That I was here because LA wasn't what I had thought it would be. I was so adamant about not being here for him that I almost believed it! But I did, I came back for him. Of course I came back for him. He's Lucas Scott for God's sake. I told everyone that I'm okay, but I'm so far from okay that . . ."

Before she could speak anymore Chris wrapped his arms around her. He didn't know why, but as he listened to her rant he felt the need to comfort her. The heartache she was going through was the kind that love songs were written about. The true pain and utter devastation that the person you love loves someone else.

He pulled her back at arms length and stared into her eyes.

"It's gonna be alright", he whispered.

He knew he couldn't really promise her that.

But as he stared into her water filled green eyes with gold specs he knew he would do everything in his power to make that happen.

_Lights will guide you home_

_And ignite your bones_

_And I will try to fix you

* * *

_

I know that I used this song with a LP scene in another fic of mine; idk if you know that or not, but I do and I just wanted to address it lol. I tried really hard to find another song because I don't really like to repeat them, but this went really well with it. Let me know what you think!


	5. Ashes and Wine

**Still don't own it, nor do I own "Ashes and Wine" by A Fine Frenzy**.

Thanks for all the reviews! I am seriously overwhelmed by them. I love the detailed ones, they really give me comfort because it means that you can picture everything I'm writing and that means a lot. I know some of you are concerned with the CP relationship, but I'm not really sure where I wanna take them yet. This will be a Leyton, but there will be the usual bumps I'm sure you all love lol.

* * *

_Don't know what to do anymore _

_I've lost the only love worth fighting for _

_I'll drown in my tear storming sea,_

_That would show you, t__hat would make you hurt like me_

Chris Keller sat in a chair directly adjacent from the couch. He had never been so compelled to help another person in his entire life. Sure he had helped Nathan get Haley's demo, but that was because he felt guilty and because he knew Haley was a talented singer. This time was different.

He was completely overcome with a need to help her. She was fragile; more so then she was willing to let on, but she was still stubborn. She fought his embrace at first, but eventually she gave in. Her yelling was muffled by sobs that turned into soft cries that became whimpers. He rubbed her back soothingly and whispered positive things into her ear.

Eventually her exhaustion caught up with her and her breaths evened out. Chris picked her up and laid her on the couch. He took a seat in the chair and simply watched her sleep.

That was nearly an hour ago.

"Sorry I'm late", the deep voice apologized as he walked into the room. Chris turned to face him and placed a finger over his lip while pointing to the sleeping blonde.

"Sorry", Nathan said meekly.

"What took so long?" Chris asked as he motioned to the other chair.

"Quentin's having a hard time grasping the idea of teamwork", Nathan said with a tired sigh. He looked at Peyton. "How's she doing?"

"How's it look?" Chris asked bluntly.

"Stupid question", he mumbled. He kept his eyes on her and took in her appearance. She seemed fine this morning, but like always Peyton Sawyer was the queen of camouflage. "I hate seeing her like this", he said softly.

"What exactly happened?" Chris asked cautiously. Nathan sighed before turning to face the man who was once an enemy.

"How much do you already know?"

"Nothing really", he said honestly. "She started babbling about Lucas and how she came back for him and missed him and that she wasn't okay."

"She might kill me for telling you, but seeing as we all know I guess it's fitting that you know too. Last week at TRIC, Lucas kissed her", Chris's eyes widened. "And then he went home and proposed to Lindsey", his fists unconsciously curled and a scowl formed on his lips.

"I think I may know the part two of that story", Chris said through his gritted teeth, "In the midst of her ramblings she said she begged him not to. She went there and pleaded with him and he didn't care", it was Nathan's turn to scowl.

"My brother is a schmuck", he said angrily. He digested the information and could only imagine the look on Haley's face when she found this out. He also couldn't wait for the verbal assault Lucas got once Brooke knew.

"God, she deserves so much better", he mumbled so softly he wasn't sure he had said it aloud.

Nathan glanced between his sleeping best friend and the man who was watching her intently; a small smile unknowingly graced his lips.

"You like her", Nathan stated simply. Chris's eyes snapped to meet his.

"Of course I do. I wouldn't be working with her if I didn't", he said simply.

"No, you liiiike her", Nathan said with a grin.

"No I don't", he said too quickly to be believable.

Nathan chuckled. "You have a crush on Peyton Sawyer", he said with a smirk.

"She's my boss and currently in control of my record . . . I just wanna make sure that it doesn't get messed up", he argued.

Nathan nodded his head disbelievingly. "Of course."

"Dude, shut up", he muttered before turning his eyes back to Peyton.

Nathan simply shook his head . . . things were going to get interesting.

------------------------------

Lindsey sighed as she walked into the coffee shop. Wedding planning was a lot more invasive then she ever thought it would be. A nice cup of coffee was exactly what she needed. She walked to the line and brushed right past a table of two.

"So, thanks for letting me have my girl moment earlier", Peyton mumbled with a blush. Chris smirked.

"Please, like you're the first girl to throw themselves at me", he waved her off.

"Jerk."

"Sissy."

"I'm hardly a sissy", she argued. "You try having the man you love propose to another woman."

"I can hardly picture that scenario", she nudged him with her foot from beneath the table. "I'm just saying . . . that's not exactly a problem I'd have."

Peyton laughed and nodded in agreement. "Fine, but haven't you ever been in love?" she asked softly. Chris debated his answer; did he really want to open those wounds? He looked into her eyes and considered the fact that she had had a complete breakdown in front of him earlier.

"I was once", he admitted with a hoarse voice. "She was wonderful and everything I ever wanted. I wrote songs for her and about her and she was my whole world", he said with a reminiscent smile.

Peyton smiled as he continued to talk. She had never seen him so open before. It was actually pretty amazing to see. He stopped talking and looked out the window. "What happened between you two?"

"I came home from a gig at a local bar and umm, she was in bed with my best friend", Peyton gasped softly and reached out for his hand.

"I'm so sorry", she whispered.

"I know what you're going through Peyton and while you are being strong, you could do so much more. I mean you should go and see them, maybe congratulate them. Try and sound sincere", he added as she scowled.

"Would you congratulate your ex if she was getting married?" she argued. Chris shook his head.

"I congratulated them when they had a baby nine months after I walked in on them", her shoulders slumped and she let out a defeated sigh. Chris Keller was a better person then she was. Hell had frozen over.

"Maybe you're right", she conceded hesitantly "I'll be a new Peyton and stop over there later", she added for good measure.

"If you want I'll even come, moral support" she thanked him and smiled.

By the time Lindsey had her order and was leaving the shop her eyes caught the table she walked past on her entrance. She knew that curly blonde, but she didn't know the man she was sitting with. Her hand was in his and Lindsey could only assume that they shared a bond. Peyton and another boy meant good things for her and Lucas.

"Oh my God", Peyton whispered as she turned to face the window.

"What? What's wrong?" Chris asked as he looked around the room.

"Stop it!" she hissed. "Lindsey's over there and I don't want her to see us."

She sent a silent prayer in hopes of leaving this place without having to face a connection to Lucas Scott.

"Peyton?"

Damnit!

"Lindsey . . . hi", Peyton said awkwardly. The other woman smiled and an awkward silence filled the small space. Chris stared between the two women and decided that this was more then enough torture. He cleared his throat and stared at Peyton expectantly.

"Oh! Umm, this is Chris Keller. He's the newest artist at my label", Peyton said with a smile; more then glad for the distraction. Lindsey looked at the man seated across from Peyton and a slow smile made its way to her lips.

"Hi Chris, I'm Lindsey", she said as she held her hand out. The sandy haired blonde shook her hand politely.

"Nice to meet you. That's some ring", he said without thinking and turned her left hand over. Lindsey blushed.

"Thanks", Peyton sent a glare in his direction and cleared her throat.

Lindsey dropped his hand and sighed as she looked between the two people in front of her once more. "So, umm . . . tomorrow, Lucas and I are having an engagement party", she said hesitantly.

The blonde opened her mouth and shook her head. "I . . . there's a lot of stuff I have to do—"

"I know it would mean a lot if you came", she admitted softly as she stared at Peyton. "Bring Chris", she added as an afterthought.

Peyton opened her mouth, but he beat her to it. "We'll be there. We'll get all the information from Brooke."

"Alright, well . . . I'll see you both tomorrow night", she smiled and headed for the door; sending them one last wave before she disappeared.

"Are you kidding me?" Peyton nearly yelled with a glare.

"What happened to the new Peyton", he mocked.

"She floated away and all that's left is a bitter, pissed off Peyton", she huffed.

"I know that this is gonna be hard and I know that you still have feelings for him, but I'll be there. We can get drunk and make fun of her big head and that stupid eye thing he does", he smirked.

She took a deep breath at the thought. Would bringing Chris Keller be a wise choice? Lucas hated him – well that was actually a plus. He seemed decent enough, but that didn't mean everyone else would agree. Then there was the Lucas and Lindsey factor. She was going to be at a party celebrating their engagement. The man she loved was marrying someone else. That hit her like a ton of bricks, but Peyton Sawyer was never one to let people think she was weak. She nodded her head numbly and cleared her throat before speaking.

"If he's happy then I'm happy for him. I'll go", Chris smiled and nodded his head in support. He had to find something to wear. "For the record, I love that eye thing he does", she said in a small voice.

"Of course you do", he muttered.

"Look, you don't have to come tomorrow", she assured him.

"I want to", he stressed, "besides I got you into this", he shrugged. Peyton smiled, but shook her head.

"Why?"

"Because I help my friends and despite what you may think, I consider you a friend, Sawyer."

------------------------------

"Sorry I'm late", Lindsey apologized as she walked into the house. Lucas stood from the chair and took the bags from her hands.

"Jeez, what took so long?" he mocked frustration.

"That place was packed", she stressed with a playful glare.

"It doesn't matter now . . . I'm starved", he said dramatically as he grabbed his sandwich and coffee and took a seat at the table. Lindsey joined him and they spent a few minutes making quite conversation.

"Oh, guess who I ran into at the coffee shop", Lucas raised a brow and she continued, "Peyton", he felt the coffee get stuck in his throat, but swallowed it down before a cough could leave his mouth.

She left her house. After what he knew to be over a week of locking herself in her room she had actually greeted the world.

This meant that he could see her at any time.

But he didn't care because he loved Lindsey.

Who was he kidding? Of course he cared, it was Peyton Sawyer.

"Really", he replied with what he hoped was an indifferent look, "Was there any punches thrown?" he asked with a smirk, but was completely serious.

"No, she was actually really nice. I guess Haley was right about her having a lot on her plate that week. And I know we had talked about avoiding her, but she's a part of your past and she's part of Tree Hill, it's only fitting that I make an effort with her", she shrugged her shoulders and Lucas furrowed his brows. He understood women less and less every day. "Oh and she was there with someone", she paused as she tried to remember the name.

Lucas sat on the edge of his chair waiting for her to say Brooke or Haley's name. She furrowed her brows in concentration. "Chris something", his jaw dropped, but he quickly recovered.

"Chris Keller?"

"Yes! Keller; that was the last name."

"Really, wow I didn't know they were friendly", he said with as little interest as he could.

"Yeah, he's working with her now, seems really nice", Lucas nodded. _Nice_.

"If he's anything like he was four years ago, I'd have to doubt that", he said snidely.

Lindsey furrowed her brows. "Well, he can't be that bad. They seemed pretty comfortable with each other when I was there."

_Comfortable_? Peyton was getting comfortable with the devil? Not only that, but she was with another guy a week after professing her love for him?

Lucas snorted in disbelief and Lindsey spoke again. "Be nice, Lucas."

"Linds, you didn't know this guy", he defended his actions.

"Well, I read your book so I have some idea, but I'm telling you he seemed very nice", Lucas rolled his eyes.

She read his book and picked up on the ass that Chris Keller was, but didn't get the fact that Peyton Sawyer was the woman of his dreams. **Was**, being the key word because obviously that ship sailed.

And he was the one that set it loose.

He shook his head to rid those thoughts, "Maybe you're right, but I still don't think you can understand—"

"Well, he and Peyton are coming to the engagement party tomorrow so maybe I'll get to know him then."

Lucas stared at her as she bit her sandwich. She invited his ex-girlfriend to their engagement party. Oh he could only imagine the look on Peyton's face when Lindsey brought it up. And Chris Keller? He couldn't even fathom that idea. The man was a snake and now apparently her new best friend.

"So, I think I'm gonna wear that gray-ish dress I have", Lindsey broke through his train of thoughts, but that only brought on a new one.

What would Peyton wear?

_Is there a chance? _

_A fragment of light a__t the end of the tunnel?_

_A reason to fight?_

_Is there a chance y__ou may change your mind?_

_Or are we ashes and wine?

* * *

_

Okay, I've got up to chapter 13 written and I have an idea about where I wanna go from there. Next chapter will go straight into the party and it won't be drama filled, but it kinda sets things up, I'm horrible at explaining these things lol. Let me know what you think!

I knew the whole Lindsey thing would work out like that, but it was so sad to watch. He only did it because she was gonna leave him.

Peyton letting go just about tore my heart out and his eyes when she said it all made it obvious that he didn't want her to. I think he wants to get married so fast because a) he's obviously running from Peyton and b) maybe he wants to try and ease her letting go, like maybe he wants to get married quickly so that Peyton doesn't have to deal with it all . . . idk.

I am in love with the Breyton friendship! I am soooo glad they're back on track. At least we get **that** this season.

Haley pissed me off. She was so rude to Peyton. We get that you're Lindsey's friend la di da. At this point I want Nathan to leave her annoying ass.

Brooke and Owen, so cute.

Mouth and Mille are adorable.

Overall I think the writng is fantastic and the acting is even better, but the only thing I really liked was the music.

Next week Peyton better get a punch in, it'll make everything worth while.

I said I wasn't gonna write about it, but I did anyway, well a summed up version.


	6. Apart

**I own nothing, not even "Apart" by The Cure.**

Thanks so much for the reviews! Some of the dialogue from 5x08 is more or less used at the end.

* * *

_He waits for her to understand_

_But she won't understand at all_

_She waits all night for him to call_

_But he won't call anymore_

_He waits to hear her say Forgive_

_But she just drops her pearl-black eyes_

_And prays to hear him say I love you_

_But he tells no more lies_

He saw her the moment she walked in. How could he not spot her in the crowd? Her blonde curly hair was like setting off a flare; always calling out to him. She was wearing a dark dress, but it wasn't black. It has a certain shimmer to it in the light, but she hadn't even come within twenty feet of him the entire night so he didn't know its true color. A breeze picked up and he could smell the ocean; for a brief moment he wondered if Peyton still smelled the same.

He could hear her laugh and it made him smile. Her laughter has always been the sweetest noise to him. She lets down her guard and gives in to that moment. A very un-ladylike snort left her nose and his smile widened. His eyes searched the back deck and stopped as soon as they reached his destination.

She was standing with Nathan, but that's not who made her laugh. The sandy haired blonde to her left was the one talking animatedly about something he couldn't hear. She laughed again, but it was more of a giggle and his heart clenched. Chris Keller made her giggle. She placed her hand on his forearm delicately and Lucas nearly stood from the stool he was positioned on. That's when it hit him. He was blatantly and openly watching the girl he had _wanted_ to marry.

But then, in true Lucas Scott fashion, he had it justified.

He hadn't seen her in nine days. She was in a dress that showed off her legs. Her curls were tighter then he ever remembered. She was laughing like a teenage girl. And Chris Keller was at her side.

How could he not stare?

"You can stare all you want . . . he won't spontaneously combust", a voice spoke before ordering a drink. Lucas simply shook his head and sipped his beer.

"Not so easy is it?" the raspy voice asked as she came up beside him.

"What are you talking about?" he asked as he finally tore his eyes from the curly blonde.

Brooke nodded back to where his eyes just were. "Seeing her with someone else. At least now you know how she feels", she said simply before leaving him at the bar.

------------------------------

Chris and Peyton walked away from yet another group of friends with laughter in the air. Just like her friends were learning more about him so was she. He always appeared charming and slick, but that was only one layer to the onion that she had learned Chris Keller was.

He had stories from the road that brought a blush to his own cheeks as he retold them. He was an only child. His mother was a school teacher and his father was a firefighter. Growing up he had a dog named Sparky and a goldfish named and Hannah; apparently she was the most beautiful girl in his second grade class.

She laughed softly at some of the things he had said tonight and Chris looked down at her with a smile on his face. Anytime Peyton left his side tonight one of her friends would approach him and say that they hadn't seen Peyton smile like this in a long time. He unconsciously stood a little straighter at that thought.

His eyes scanned the deck and he spotted Lucas talking with Lindsey. She was smiling and talking with some of the guests. Lucas looked less than interested.

Their eyes locked and Chris looked back at Peyton.

"We need to go over there", Chris said adamantly.

"Why?" Peyton pouted. Chris chuckled at her childish antics.

"Because, it's their engagement party; you're supposed to congratulate the couple", he explained slowly. She slapped his shoulder.

"Smart ass", she muttered.

"Seriously Peyton, besides if you don't suck it up people are going to think you aren't happy for them."

"What if I'm not", she grumbled.

"Hey now, none of that", he reprimanded. "What happened to the new Peyton? The one who would be happy as long as he was happy?"

"She melts away almost every time she see's him", she responded softly.

"Well, Peyton Sawyer is a fighter and I'll be damned if this kills that girl", he said with a scoff as he grabbed her hand.

"How can you be so sure I'm a fighter?" she asked with an amused smile. Chris rolled his eyes.

"I spent months on a tour bus with Haley years ago, hung out with Nathan a lot this week, twenty minutes with Brooke while I waited for you to finish getting ready and we've been around your friends the entire night. I'm surprised I don't know your blood type yet", he joked. Peyton smiled at him. This was definitely the beginning of an unexpected friendship.

"B positive", she whispered with a smile. Chris stopped and stared at her; a slow grin spread across his lips.

"Good to know."

"Why? You gonna write it in your diary later", she mocked.

"No, this means we're the same type. If anything happens to me at least I know you're around", he said breezily. Peyton dropped her mouth indignantly.

"Christopher Keller", she scolded with a smile still on her lips. He shrugged and pulled on her hand to get them walking again.

"Okay, you ready?" he asked through a whisper as the came closer to the couple.

"Not in the least bit", she said through tight lips.

"Peyton, Chris", Lindsey greeted with a smile, "I haven't seen you guys all night."

"Oh, we've been making our rounds", Chris joked.

Peyton smiled politely and Lucas causally glanced at her. "Congratulations", she said softly.

"Thanks", he replied with the same tone. Lindsey furrowed her brows and Chris cleared his throat.

"That dress really goes with your ring", as soon as the words left his mouth Chris furrowed his own brows. Peyton chuckled and rolled her eyes.

"I don't know how it goes with it, but it is really lovely", Peyton agreed.

Lucas's mind screamed, _I wanted to give it to you!_ But he simply smiled proudly and pulled Lindsey a little closer.

"Thank you", Lindsey said with a smile.

"So, have you ever been to Texas?" he asked, once Lindsey shook her head Chris told one of his many stories that had won over the guests.

Lucas watched as Peyton laughed at the stories Chris told. She kept her eyes on him, but he knew she could feel his eyes on her. It was the subtle way she tucked her hair behind her ear or how she would bite her lip when a silence filled the air.

Peyton took notice of the people that lingered around them and patted Chris's arm. "We better let them have their chance with the happy couple", Peyton said as she pointed to the others. Chris nodded and they both smiled before walking away.

The other couple approached and began talking. Lucas knew he should have listened. They were Lindsey's friends and therefore would be his friends. He tried to listen to their words, but it was no use. He had his answers for his own earlier questions.

Her dress was deep purple and she still smelled like vanilla and lavender.

------------------------------

Peyton sat on the beach with her toes in the sand. Her heels were further up. The second she hit the sand nostalgia overtook her body. The beach was once a safe haven for her. For them. Her eyes were closed and she could remember that summer night right after junior year so clearly.

She wants to grab that curly hair of the naïve seventeen year old and tell her not to fall in love with the boy who knows all the right words to say. To leave him on the beach and not be so weak that she asks him to come back to her house. Because if that never happened he wouldn't have spoken the words that gave her hope. She wouldn't have fallen completely in love with him right then and there. Heartache would have been spared for the brunette she loved as a sister. Her own heart wouldn't be ripped into pieces like it is now.

The sand behind her was crunching, but she didn't bother to turn around. It's not Chris and it's not Nathan. It's the other blue eyed boy that's currently in her life. She raked a hand through her curls and shook her head; she shouldn't know him simply by his footsteps. But, he was right when he said it was always gonna be there.

"Hey", he said softly as he sat beside her.

"Hi", her voice was just as soft and she didn't bother to look over at him.

They stayed in the silence and they both felt the tension between them. The air was awkward and it was a blow to both of their hopes. Is this how it would always be? They couldn't even have a decent conversation anymore?

"You look nice."

Maybe this was why they couldn't be civil. Lucas Scott was always saying things he knew he shouldn't, but when it came to Peyton Sawyer he lost all his inhibitions. When he was around Peyton there was nobody else. She was his weakness. The thorn in his paw. Neither chose to acknowledge the fact that life was all about finding the one person you could do that with. That love was the whole point of being with that one person.

Peyton shut her eyes at his words. Damn Lucas and his words. It was like being at Nathan and Haley's wedding all over again. She cleared her throat. "So, where's Lindsey?" she asked with minimal bitterness in her voice.

Lucas glanced at her before answering. "She's inside with everyone . . . Chris decided to put on an impromptu performance", the bitterness was quite present in his voice.

Peyton unknowingly smiled at the mention of the musician. She really hadn't thought that bringing him here would turn out as well as it had. He and Nathan got along great, Haley and he talked like no time had passed at all, and even Brooke had taken to him. Their other friends would even agree that Chris Keller was a decent guy.

"Do you know what he was singing?" she asked as she finally faced him. Her curls fell over her eyes and his hand twitched at the want to brush them away.

"Umm, honestly no, I snuck out the back when he took to the stage." He did have to admit that Chris seemed different. He wasn't smug in the annoying way. He poked fun at himself and made others laugh.

"Sneaking out back doors and sitting with me on a beach, Lucas Scott people are gonna talk", she teased. He looked down and chuckled. The awkward air floated away and for that moment things were fine. The laughter died and Lucas looked at her once more.

"Listen Peyton, I'm sorry about everything—"

"Lucas please don't apologize", she begged, "Because if you do I'll probably start crying and I've been trying the whole night not to, so can we just leave things at this", her voice shook and she hated it. She wanted to be strong tonight; especially in front of this man.

"Okay", he said quietly. "Is it always gonna be this awkward?" he asked with a laugh. Peyton laughed with him and nodded her head.

"Probably for a while", she said.

She took a deep breath, she definitely didn't want to do this tonight, but she felt like she had to. She bit her lip before speaking. "I have to let you go", she whispered. His head snapped to face hers and he clenched his jaw.

"You know that I love you, I pretty much have since I almost ran you over. If you love her and want me to let go then I will", her voice shook once more and she bravely reached one hand up to cup his cheek. He leaned into her touch and felt his eyes burn.

"I want the best for you . . . and that best is obviously Lindsey", the tears that she wanted to stop slowly fell and Lucas took her hand from his cheek and interlocked it with one of his. He opened his mouth, but was quickly cut off.

"Hey Goldilocks!" a voice with a twang called out. Peyton looked past Lucas. He walked closer to the two people on the beach and once he saw who Peyton's company was he lowered his voice to an almost bashful tone. "You ready to go?" he asked with a small smile.

Peyton used her free hand to wipe her cheeks and returned the smile. She looked back at the blue eyes in front of her. It was going to be hard. Probably one of the hardest things she'd ever have to do, but letting go of Lucas Scott was necessary. He wasn't part of her future anymore. He loved Lindsey. He wanted to marry Lindsey.

No matter how much she told herself all of that, the blue eyes in front of her told a different story.

"Be happy, Lucas Scott", she whispered. She brought their intertwined hands to her lips and kissed his knuckles.

Chris walked closer and she dropped his hand before speaking. "Night Luke", she said so casually that his breath caught in his throat. Before he could respond she was on her feet and walking away with Chris.

"Goodnight Peyton", he said with a sigh as he watched her walk away.

_How did we get this far apart?_

_We used to be so close together_

_How did we get this far apart?_

_I thought this love would last forever

* * *

_

I'm pretty proud of this chapter, especially the last section. Let me know what you think!


	7. Dizzy

**I don't own One Tree Hill, nor do I own "Dizzy" by Jimmy Eat World.**

I know I just updated 2 days ago . . . I spoil you all, but you deserve to be spoiled because you are amazing reviewers!

This is a great song for anyone who would like to know; both versions are wonderful. But I'm an acoustic kinda girl. Thanks so much for all the reviews! Over 100 and this is only the 7th chapter, I've never gotten a response like this and it really means the world to me.

P.S.  Carrie is going to be normal in this story.

* * *

_You close your eyes and kiss your hand, then you blow it_

_But it isn't meant for me and I notice_

_If the choice was ours alone_

_Then why'd we both choose letting go_

_Does it end like this?_

Peyton and Chris walked along the street with smiles on both of their faces. Peyton was glad that the night ended without anyone getting hit and Chris enjoyed spending so much time around the curly blonde.

"So, how's the new Peyton?" he asked with a smirk. Peyton laughed and nodded her head.

"She's dealing", she said honestly. "It's a tough realization that he's getting married and that he's happy, but as long as that keeps up. . . I'll be happy", she said softly. She sighed and shook her head almost in disbelief before speaking again.

"Sitting on that beach with him just brought so many memories back and it was even harder then I thought it would be. Honestly, I don't know how I'll make it through the wedding."

"Did you clear the air about anything?" he asked in interest.

Peyton shrugged. "The usual stuff I guess. We both really want to be able to be in the same room for more than five minutes."

"I'm sure you'll get there", he said optimistically, "But umm, you guys seemed kinda quiet all night", he said with a raised brow.

"Lucas and I have never needed words to talk. His eyes told me everything he needed to say."

"Well, that's not creepy at all", Chris mumbled with a smirk. Peyton laughed.

"Most people think so, but with Luke it's just always been there", she said simply with a shrug. Chris nodded and they continued to walk.

"I told him I was letting him go", she said suddenly and he faced her once more.

"What did he say?"

"Nothing, I didn't really let him. Lucas's words have always scared me, he puts a lot of meaning and emotion into them; crying because of what I was doing was enough, I didn't need to cry because of anything he said too."

"You're gonna be okay", Chris said with soft smile. Peyton nodded.

"I really don't wanna let go. Lucas is the love of my life and it is going to be so hard", she paused to take a deep breath, "But I will because he's happy and that really is all I want."

"You are something else", he whispered without realizing it. Peyton's eyes widened and she was thankful that they weren't face to face because the blush that crept onto her cheeks was fierce. They opened the gate to the pathway and Chris motioned for her to walk ahead.

His hands were sweaty and he could hear his own heartbeat. This was like a date that he never wanted to end. She was witty and smart and obviously beautiful. But she was in love with Lucas Scott and he couldn't compete with that.

"Tonight was a lot better then I thought it would be and I'm not even drunk", she joked.

"It was a pretty great", he agreed with a small smile. Peyton bit her lip and Chris unintentionally took a step forward.

Peyton's mind was racing. Chris was wonderful and he was charming. He made her laugh and she was grateful for that. But he was her employee and more then that he had honestly become a friend to her. She didn't want to risk that.

Plus, there was Lucas. She loved him and it wouldn't be fair to Chris to let him think otherwise.

She wrapped her arms around his waist because she figured that was the least intimate hug one could give and then she titled her head and leaned forward to place a demure kiss to his cheek.

"Goodnight Chris", she said softly before walking inside. He walked off the porch in a daze. He touched his cheek and smiled softly. It was only to the cheek, but it was enough to make the butterflies in his stomach throw up. He inhaled the warm night's air and froze.

Vanilla and lavender haunted his nostrils.

-x-

"I'm coming!" Nathan yelled to the person banging on his door.

It wasn't late by any means, but since Jamie was asleep and Carrie promised to help him if he needed anything, Nathan and Haley decided they would reconcile the proper way. It had been far too long for both of them. Five months too long.

This is why Nathan was so agitated at his late night visitor. Who ever it was had better have been dying or just witnessed a crime and needed to call 911. He grumbled as the person knocked again.

"Hold on!"

He was beyond agitated now. He was still trying to get used to walking without a cane and although he'd never admit it, maybe running with Peyton the other day wasn't the best idea. He shuffled to the door and pulled it open.

"Keller?"

Chris stood there like a deer in headlights. His mouth was opened, but no words came out. He wasn't even sure why he had decided to come here in the first place, but low and behold here he was.

"Nathan who is it?" Haley asked with a slight edge to her voice. She came up behind him and blinked in shock.

"Chris?"

They both stared at him anxiously. The words were on the tip of his tongue, but they wouldn't come out. He was sure he looked like a tool.

"Chris is something wrong? Do you need anything?" Haley asked with a curious expression.

Again silence. Nathan huffed and clutched the door knob.

"Alright, we're going to bed; knock when you learn to speak", he said as he closed the door. Before the door closed all the way Chris found his voice.

"I like her."

-x-

It was pitch black out and Lucas was sure that most of the guests had left, but he sat on the beach the entire time. He watched her walk away and he couldn't shake the empty feeling from his stomach.

As soon as she left a breeze picked up and the warmth she once provided was gone. His nose battled with the salty smell of the ocean from taking over his senses; he couldn't let go of that Peyton Sawyer smell.

The girl he had told he would love forever was letting him go. Ironically enough she was doing it because she thought that was what he wanted. She needed to let go because in the end it would be easier for him to move on to Lindsey. This way he could know that Peyton would be okay. No matter where he went in life or what happened to him he needed to know that she would be okay. Her letting go was going to be the best for both of them. Did he want her to? He really couldn't answer that right now.

She was hurt and he had caused it. Lucas Scott, the man who told her he wasn't like everyone else. The man who promised to always save her. This was now the man who was now breaking her in every imaginable way. He was the one that she needed saving from and apparently Chris was the man to the rescue. Memories clouded his mind and he didn't try to stop them.

_It's always gonna be there isn't it? You and me._

_This is good isn't it? Us._

_It's you. When all my dreams come true, the one I want next to me, it's you. It's you, Peyton._

_I love you, Peyton and no matter how long it takes, I'll wait for you._

_Your art matters. It's what got me here._

No matter what happens to either one of us, you will always be in my heart.

_Brooke's great, but she's not you._

"There you are!" the exasperated voice of his fiancée called out.

Lucas snapped out of his thoughts and looked over his shoulder to Lindsey. He sent her a forced smile and watched as she sat beside him.

"I've been looking all over for you", she said softly as she linked her arm through his.

"Sorry, I just needed some air", he said softly.

"What're you thinking about?" she asked with a smile. He looked down at her and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Lot's of stuff", he said vaguely.

"Anything I can help with?" she asked as she rested her head onto his arm. He shook his head and kissed the top of her head.

"Nah, but thank you for caring", he said sincerely.

Lindsey nodded and curled close to him. "It's beautiful out here", she whispered.

Lucas nodded even though she couldn't see. "I've always loved the beach."

"Me too, but this spot, you can see everything", she whispered in awe as she looked across the horizon and then above at the stars.

Again Lucas nodded. He couldn't find the words to speak and even if he could he was afraid they would get him into trouble. This was the spot he had found Peyton at five years ago. He remembers that night so clearly and he wishes that he didn't. He fell in love with her that night. Actually he had never fallen out of love, he just buried his feelings.

"Chris seems really nice. He cares about Peyton", she said softly.

Lucas swallowed hard at the thought. "You think?"

"Yeah, he was by her side the entire night and, God, she laughed and smiled more then I've seen since I've been here."

Lucas nodded. She was right. Tonight Peyton laughed like she did years ago. She was smiling and talkative. Considering everything that was going on he thought she would have been a little introverted. Not that he was trying to sound arrogant, but he really didn't expect her to be so flippant. Then again, he still knew her . . . she was more then likely hiding exactly how she felt, for his sake.

A cool breeze caused Lindsey to shiver. "I'm gonna head inside", she said as she looked at him expectantly.

"Umm, I think I'm gonna stay out here for a little bit", he whispered as he looked out to the ocean.

Lindsey frowned and furrowed her brows. He had been extremely broody lately. In her gut she knew the reason, but her heart didn't want to believe it. Lucas had told her he loved her. He proposed. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, not Peyton. In her mind, that was enough conviction.

"Okay, but don't stay out here too long", she kissed his temple and stood.

Lucas watched her leave and sighed. Lindsey was a wonderful girl. She loved him unconditionally. She accepted his proposal. She never left him out of fear. She didn't ask for more time. She was ready to be his wife now. He loved her.

He sighed again and shook his head.

Lindsey was great, but she wasn't Peyton

_Time never had a chance to heal your heart_

_Just a number always counting down to a new start_

_If you always knew the truth_

_Then the world would spin around you_

_Are you dizzy yet?_

* * *

Let me know what you think!


	8. Goodbye My Lover

I don't own One Tree Hill, nor do I own "

**I don't own One Tree Hill, nor do I own "Goodbye My Lover" by James Blunt.**

If you guys have any songs that you think are good or that you would like to see used in a chapter you can tell me in a PM and I'll do my best to incorporate it somewhere. 

For everyone that has been so proud of Peyton for taking a high road and whatnot, remember that she's only human. And all of us LP fans are quite familiar with the phrase; one step forward, two steps back. Thanks so much for all the reviews!

* * *

_You touched my heart you touched my soul_

_You changed my life and all my goals_

_And love is blind and that I knew when_

_My heart was blinded by you_

_I've kissed your lips and held your head_

_Shared your dreams and shared your bed_

_I know you well, I know your smell_

_I've been addicted to you_

"Good morning", Peyton cheered as she walked into the kitchen. Brooke furrowed her brows. Peyton poured herself a cup of coffee while humming one of Mia's songs. The brunette placed her mug on the counter and spoke calmly.

"Peyton, sweetie, are you on drugs?"

The blonde laughed and shook her head. "No drugs, past that stage", she said with a smirk that was not reciprocated. "I just realized that I have a lot going in my life. I have a record label, great friends, and an even _greater_ best friend. Life doesn't always suck for Peyton Sawyer", she said with a shrug.

Brooke nodded and smirked. "Does the sudden entrance of a musician have anything to do with that?"

Peyton rolled her eyes. "Brooke, Chris and I are just friends", she said defiantly.

"If you say so", she said disbelievingly.

"Brooke, I'm not kidding. He has been really wonderful the past week and I'm grateful", she stirred her coffee.

"Peyton, you do know that the boy has a crush on you don't you?" Brooke stated plainly.

"No he doesn't", she said as she shook her head. Brooke scoffed.

"You are horrible at reading guys. Peyton, he is completely smitten with you."

Peyton raised a brow. "You're watching too many British Soaps at the boutique", she quipped.

"Make jokes P. Sawyer, but you know I'm right", and she did. If anything, last night kicked any doubts Peyton had out the window.

"Okay, you're right", she conceded with a whisper. The brunette's eyes widened.

"Hold on, where's my recorder", she gasped as she searched the room. Peyton threw the paper at her and Brooke laughed.

"This isn't funny; I don't know what to do. I don't want to lead him on because that's not fair, but at the same time I don't wanna stop hanging out with him."

"The only advice I can give is to clear the air with him. Let him know you only want friendship and if he can't handle being around you without being with you, then you have to respect that."

"When did you get so wise?" Peyton teased.

Brooke ignored the comment. "Are you sure you don't have the slightest crush on Keller?" she asked gently.

"Trust me when I say that as of right now I am still pathetically in love with Lucas Scott."

"Speaking of our ex-boyfriend . . . did you two talk last night?" she asked hesitantly.

Peyton had two options; tell the truth and get a lecture or a comforting speech about how it was understandable, or she could lie and have Brooke be shocked into silence.

"Actually we did" Lie. Brooke raised a brow. "We cleared the air and things are actually kind of okay."

"Really? You talked about **everything**?" Brooke stressed with a serious face.

"Yes", Peyton said with a confused glance.

"And you're okay?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" she asked with a laugh.

"Well, I mean if my ex-boyfriend proposed to his girlfriend with my ring I would be . . ." Brooke stopped her own sentence at the change in her best friend's demeanor.

"What did you say?" she barely spoke out. Brooke panicked.

"Oh God, Peyton, I thought he – you said that – told you."

"I have to go", she muttered as she ran for the door.

Brooke looked above her and spoke to the ceiling.

"Hi fan; I'm shit, nice to meet you."

-x-

"Seriously!" she screamed as she barged into his room.

Lucas jumped from the bed in shock. His foot got caught in the sheets and sent him crashing to the ground.

"Damnit Peyton", he grumbled as he stood and rubbed his head.

"Did you really hate me that much after we kissed?" she asked with shaky voice.

Lucas furrowed his brows. What the hell was she talking about? He quickly glanced around the room and was more then glad that Lindsey was nowhere to be found.

"Peyton, it's early and I don't really—"

"Her ring", she cut him off.

Lucas froze and clamped his eyes shut. He felt his heart clench and he was sure he was having a heart attack.

"Well?" she asked anxiously.

Nope, he wasn't that lucky.

"Peyton, that whole thing was just . . ." he couldn't tell her what it really was because that would make everything he'd been telling everyone a lie.

"It was what? You were punishing me?"

"NO!" he yelled without hesitation. Peyton flinched at his outburst. "Peyton, I don't know what to say, it just happened", he offered lamely.

"Jesus Lucas, the ring you had wanted to give me? Am I that easy to dispose of?" at this point tears were making their way down her cheeks.

"No, that's not what it was. I . . . God, this is so screwed up", he mumbled as he ran a hand through his hair.

"Tell me Lucas", she begged. "If I meant so little to you that you could just recycle something that was supposed to show your love for me! Just tell me that we were a joke. I was the girl you **had** to pick because Brooke dumped you! Just say it!"

Her words were jumbled and she wasn't sure if she was really making any sense, but Lucas seemed to understand everything; not that that was a surprise.

His heart was breaking and before he could think he was racing to her side and had her wrapped in his arms. "You know that's not the truth. It's always been you", he assured her.

"Except now", she shoved him away and wiped her eyes.

"What do you want from me? I asked you to marry me and you said no!" he reminded her painfully.

She nodded her head. "And why waste a pretty ring like that, right?"

"Peyton, you have to believe me when I say that it wasn't supposed to be that way", he pleaded.

"Believing you doesn't get me very far Lucas. I believed you when you told me you loved me, when you said you'd wait for me, when you told me that you wanted me next to you when your dreams came true. I believed it all Lucas and my heart is so broken that even the smallest pieces are hanging on by the thinnest of strings", she sniffled in hopes of keeping her tears at bay. "I can't set myself up for that kind of pain again."

He bowed his head and quickly wiped at the stray tears that fell. He finally had some hope that they were making headway towards being friends. Once again, he screwed it all up.

"Peyton, I don't want this to end in you not being in my life", he knew he shouldn't have said it, but he didn't care. Right now last's night revelation was running through his mind and he knew he had to hold on to this girl in any way possible.

"You can't get the best of both worlds! You can't marry her and keep me around for whatever you please! You've chosen Lucas. You've chosen Lindsey to spend the rest of your life with", she said dejectedly.

"I chose you first! Peyton, I wanted everything with you. I asked you to marry me, to spend forever with me! Can you honestly be mad that I moved on?"

"I'm not mad that you moved on . . . I'm mad that even though you've 'moved on' you won't let go of me!"

"Peyton you were a huge part of my life, you still are. I can't just cut that out", he argued.

She nodded. "Okay, you're right. For Lindsey's sake and for everyone's sake we'll be friendly and polite in public, but other then that I don't want anything to do with you."

He sucked in a breath at her words and felt his eyes burn. "Peyton", his voice shook and before he could go any further she cut him off.

"It's already too hard. I can't keep acting like I'm stronger then I am because it's killing me. After today I don't want you to talk to me", she said firmly, but her voice shook with every syllable.

He opened his mouth and Peyton felt her blood boiling. Couldn't he ever do as she asked?

"Don't talk to me again, Lucas Scott", she seethed out.

"Pey—"

"EVER! Don't ever talk to me again!" she screamed as tears clouded her eyes once more.

She sent him one last look and he watched as the girl that he knew he loved walked out his door.

-x-

Chris sighed as he walked into the Blue Post. Nathan had called him about twenty minutes ago frantic because nobody could find Peyton. Chris was still embarrassed about his confession the night before, but at the time Nathan had simply smirked and nodded his head.

At first Chris had no clue as to where to find her. But the more he thought about it the clearer it all became. What did he do after he found out his girlfriend and best friend were having a baby?

He drank.

Which led him to the seedy bar 'the breakfast club' would frequent when they were younger. He walked through the door and immediately started to scan the crowd. It took him a while, but as the people scattered he spotted the mass of curls sitting at the bar.

"Goldilocks", he called out. She spun around with a drink in her hand.

"Chris!" she giggled out. He rolled his eyes and walked up to her.

"How's it goin' Sawyer?" he asked as he sat next to her.

"Just lovely, Lucas gave Lindsey my ring. Actually it wasn't my ring because I told him someday, but it was the ring he wanted to give to me", her face fell for a moment before she recovered and took a sip from her glass. "Anyway, I went over there and we yelled and here I am now", she swayed and Chris stood to help her.

"Let's get you home", he sighed as he pulled on her.

"No, no, no, I wanna stay", she whined with a pout. Chris huffed and loosened his grip on her side. She had a horrible day; he didn't really see the harm in letting her drink.

"Fine, but not much longer", he warned.

"Yay!" she squealed, "Bartender! I'll have another", she ordered as she stuck her finger in the air.

The man walked over and looked at Chris. "Nothing for me", he said politely.

Peyton's mouth dropped. "Oh come on, there must be something you want to wallow away", she held up her glass and shook it in his direction.

_You mean like the fact that I like you and you love your ass of an ex?_

"I'll have a double of whatever she's having", he mumbled.

"That's the spirit!"

Two hours later they were stumbling into the house she shared with Brooke. They made it into the hallway without a loud sound. Her arm was around his waist while his was around her shoulder.

She put her hand on the door knob and stopped to face him before opening it.

"We have to be quiet", she attempted to whisper while trying to focus her eyes. When did Chris become a triplet?

Chris snorted at the look on her face. She was so adorable. No, he couldn't think that. She didn't feel the same way. But God, she was gorgeous.

"Shh", she said far too loudly for it to be a quiet statement. Her door was opened and they both walked into her room. Chris kicked it shut behind him.

"Alright", he said with a laugh. She stumbled and Chris's arms moved to circle around her waist. She swung around and her face pressed against his chest.

"Oomph", her mumble vibrated against his body and sent shivers down his spine. He pressed her up against her bedroom door and she leaned back to look at him.

"You're pretty", he said drunkenly as he combed his fingers through her hair.

"You're pretty too", she slurred as she traced his jaw line.

She giggled and went to leave his embrace. He pulled her back and licked his lips before placing them onto hers. Peyton reciprocated and her mouth moved in sync with his. He moaned against her lips and his tongue begged for entrance that she hesitantly gave.

His hands locked around her waist and brought her flush against his body. His lips worked their way to her neck and her eyes snapped open. She put her hands on his chest and gently pushed him away.

"Chris, we shouldn't—"

Her protest was cut off with another searing kiss.

Brooke's words rang in her ears and she knew she should pull away. But as Chris's hands skimmed up her shirt and discarded it to the floor she could only think about how this would be better then the numb feeling that was in her heart.

_I'm so hollow, baby_

_I'm so hollow_

_I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow_

* * *

Gah, don't hate Peyton or me, but let me know what you think!

My comment on tonight episode;

**Does Peyton really always have to take the high road?**


	9. Mercy

**I own nothing, not even "Mercy" by OneRepublic.**

Love this entire album! Thanks so much for all the reviews!

I have another comment about Tuesday's episode;

**Does Peyton always have to sacrifice her love for everyone else's happiness?

* * *

**

_Angel of mercy, how did you find me? _

Where did you read my story?

Pulled from the papers, desperate and hardened

Seeking a momentary fix 

The morning light caused Peyton to groan and roll away from it. Her head was already pounding and she knew that wasn't a good sign. As she tried to move she became very aware to the fact that there was an arm draped over her waist. She instantly froze and didn't dare to open her eyes.

This was not happening. Peyton Sawyer didn't bring random guys home, no matter how drunk she was. She took a deep breath and squinted her eyes as she tried to remember last night.

She was at the bar, she got drunk, and she came home. The same guy was with her the entire time, who was the guy . . . oh, shit.

Her eyes flew opened and she stared at a sleeping Chris Keller. She repeated a mantra of 'oh God' and prayed that this wasn't happening. She and Chris had kissed, she remembered that much, but she also remembered trying to stop it.

"_Chris we really shouldn't do this."_

"_Just give me tonight, Peyton."_

There was something about the look on his face that even in her drunken state made her feel compassion for. They had kissed and then simply fallen asleep, no harm done. She nodded her head; pleased with her own answer and went to move from Chris's embrace. That's when it happened; his hand grazed her bare abdomen and the underside of her even barer breast.

"Oh fuck", she mumbled out. She lifted her head to the ceiling and then to the side. Blue eyes greeted her.

"Please tell me you have clothes on", she whispered with a hoarse voice. He looked at her with a blank expression and images flashed through her mind once more.

"_Chris, we really need to stop. I'm not on the pill."_

"_It's alright, I've got protection."_

Peyton pulled the sheet tighter to her body and her eyes scanned the room. Sure enough there was a small foil wrapper lying on the floor.

"This is not happening", she muttered and stood from the bed. Her head was pounding and the realization that she was naked made her scour the room for a shirt.

"I've already seen you naked, no need to panic."

She could hear the bitterness in his voice and it made her heart clench. The sheets ruffled behind her and she knew he was getting dressed.

"Chris, last night was . . ."

Her sentence trailed off and for a fleeting moment he hoped that she would say it was amazing. That it meant something to her. He looked into her eyes and knew that wouldn't be her answer.

"It was just sex, Chris", she said softly and it killed her because although it didn't mean much to her, she knew how much it meant to him. He dressed quickly and stood in front of her.

"Sex we both wanted", he argued.

"I remember telling you we shouldn't do this", she bit back as she motioned between them.

"You know, I remember that too, but then I also remember you moaning out my name and raking your nails across my back", he said smarmily and it took Peyton all of five seconds to raise her hand and drag it across his skin.

"Don't be such an asshole!" she hissed out.

"Don't be such a whore!"

Peyton reeled back at his words and for a second he felt bad, but then he thought about the fact that no matter how mean Lucas was to her she always went back to him.

Peyton took a deep breath. "Look, I'm sorry that things went as far as they did last night", she said honestly. "I know that you have some kind of feelings for me—"

"So, this was a pity fuck?" he said venomously.

"No", she said without hesitation. "Chris, last night I was drunk and hurting . . . can we just put this behind us?"

"I don't know, I mean I'm so hopelessly in love with you", he huffed out.

"Chris . . ."

"No Peyton, you wanna know the worst part about all of this? No matter how mean I am to you right now it doesn't even compare to the fact that Lucas is engaged to another woman and you still love him."

"Don't bring him into this", she warned.

"Why not? He's the reason we're here right now. You wanted to drink away your sorrows because he used _your_ ring for another woman. That's why you were at the bar and that's the whole reason we slept together!"

"No, we slept together because we were drunk. I said that we shouldn't do this, but you wanted it!"

"Like I said, you didn't exactly argue against it!"

"Because I wanted to feel something other then the heartache and for a few hours you did that", she admitted with a whisper.

Chris nodded and took a deep breath. "I have a gig later, it's out of town. I don't know when I'll be back."

He headed for the door, but stopped to look at her one last time. "You know what really sucks about all of this? I still think you deserve better than him."

She heard the front door slam shut before she allowed the tears to fall.

------------------------------

"Knock, knock", Brooke said softly as she entered the blonde's room.

She had been holed up inside all day and it was a complete change from the optimistic Peyton that Brooke had encountered the other day; although that wasn't shocking. Brooke had unintentionally dropped the bomb of all bombs and now she felt guilty as hell.

"P. Sawyer?" she whispered as she sat on the corner of the bed. She saw Peyton move from beneath her sheets, but no noise was made. She moved closer and gently rubbed her friend's back.

"Okay, I'm sorry about yesterday, but you cannot let him rule your life like this", Brooke said with determination. "I'm sure you went to see Lucas and then I have no idea where you went, but I can assume it was a bar", she muttered the last part as she sniffed that air. "This is not the way to go about something like that."

She heard Peyton sniffled and clear her throat.

"I slept with Chris", came out as a muffle from beneath her comforter.

Brooke's eyes widened and she ripped the covers off her friend. "You did what?"

"I had sex with Chris Keller", she said as a sob worked its way out. She curled into herself even more and clutched an old bag of Hershey's Kisses, that Brooke was sure had come with the house, in her hand.

"I heard you", Brooke mumbled as she sat back down. "I just can't believe it."

"I know, I'm a horrible person", Peyton hiccupped and unwrapped another chocolate kiss.

"What does . . . how did . . . oh wow", Brooke stumbled over her words before grabbing a kiss for herself.

"I got drunk, like really, really drunk and Chris found me at the Blue Post. He had some drinks too and, God! We ended up here and then he kissed me. I told him we shouldn't, but then my drunken loneliness took over and it happened", Brooke sighed.

"What happened this morning?" she had heard the muffled yells and the front door slam shut, but she didn't dare to leave her room.

"I told him it didn't mean anything. I called him an asshole and he called me a whore. It was a good conversation", she said sarcastically.

"Poor Chris", Brooke mumbled. Peyton nodded.

"I know; I feel awful. When it was happening I knew I should stop it, but I was so hurt over everything with Lucas that I didn't care. I just wanted to feel something."

"Oh Peyton", Brooke said disappointedly.

"I know! I'm so horrible! I really am a whore", she hiccupped again.

Brooke shook her head and smoothed Peyton's hair. "You're not a whore, just a girl who's in love Lucas Scott. That can make you do some stupid things", Brooke spoke from experience.

"I just wish he would talk to me", Peyton said with a sigh.

"Do you know where he went?"

Peyton shook her head. "He said he had a gig out of town. I called him, but he didn't answer; not that I'm surprised."

"He'll be okay", Brooke said as surely as she could.

"I hope so", Peyton said with a frown.

Brooke sighed and looked around the room. "I would say we could get drunk, but you might not wanna do that."

Peyton smiled faintly. "I'm never drinking again", she said seriously.

"You can say that now, but remember that you have a whole wedding to get through in a few months."

Peyton groaned before pulling the covers over herself once more.

------------------------------

Haley stood in the doorway silently watching her best friend brood. His head was in his hands and she could tell he was deep in thought. She knocked softly and watched as his head jerked up.

"Hey", she said softly.

"You're talking to me?" he asked hopefully. Haley nodded hesitantly.

"You're still my best friend, Luke. You may be an ass most of the time, but I love you", she smiled and rolled her eyes. Lucas grinned and stood to pull her in for a hug.

"I missed you Hales."

"I missed you too, Luke", they broke from the embrace and Haley sat in the chair on the opposite side of his desk.

"So, I heard something interesting today", she said vaguely. Lucas raised a brow. "Peyton pay you a little visit?"

Lucas sighed and shut his eyes. This was something he really didn't wanna talk about. He was still reliving it in his mind; he definitely didn't want to share those images with anyone.

"Lucas, come on. Talk to me", Haley quietly begged. Lucas let out a breath and nodded his head.

"She stopped by yesterday morning. We got into a huge fight. Even bigger then when she came over the day after TRIC. By the end of it she was crying and telling me that she wanted nothing to do with me", he said with a shaky voice.

"I'm sorry Lucas . . . but what did you expect?" she asked gently.

He laughed bitterly. "I expected . . . I expected that by now I would be married to her. We'd be talking about kids or maybe even have one", he smiled sadly. "I really thought we'd make it", he said in disbelief.

Haley frowned at her friend's turmoil. There was no questioning who the 'her' was. She opened her mouth, but he kept talking.

"I didn't expect to be engaged to someone else. To have someone else talk about having my children. The white picket fence and the dog in the yard . . . never had another woman by my side", he cleared his throat. "Life can throw you curveballs Haley James Scott and the biggest one would have to be that even though I have this other woman at my side I . . ."

"You what?" Haley probed. She felt her pulse racing and it like she was about to uncover the worlds best kept secret.

He stared at her with thoughtful eyes. "Nothing", he whispered.

"Lucas, what did all of your babbling just now mean?"

"Just drop it Haley", he said adamantly. Haley furrowed her brows.

"How can you say that? Lucas—"

"I love Lindsey. Whatever you may be thinking . . . Hales, Peyton and I were a long time ago. I've said things that probably crush any chance of us ever being there again."

"So, you're going to marry Lindsey because it's available now?" Haley gasped out.

Lucas shook his head. "Lindsey loves me and she has never done anything to hurt me. I owe it to her to do this."

"Lucas . . ."

"I asked her to marry me, I can't just take that back."

"Even if your heart's torn?"

"It's the life I've set myself up for."

_All I wanted to say, a__ll I wanted to do, has fallen apart now_

_All I wanted to feel, __I wanted to love, i__t's all my fault now_

_A tragedy, I fear

* * *

_

The truth pretty much comes out! Let me know what you think.

P.S. – I'm a little confused . . . in 5x02 didn't Peyton say that she and Lucas hadn't been a couple for 3 years? But then didn't Lindsey say something about them breaking up 2 years ago? Can anyone help with that?


	10. Wish You Were

**I don't own One Tree Hill, nor do I own "Wish You Were" by Kate Voegele.**

This song is absolutely amazing; I cried when she played it and got chills, it was pretty insane. She's incredibly talented, as you all know. I originally had this with a different song, but when they played this the other night; I knew I had to change it. I have her entire CD and I recommend everyone buy it lol. 

Some stuff from 5x08 at the bottom. Thanks for all the reviews!

* * *

_I was true as the sky is blue _

_But I couldn't soon say the same for you _

_So now I find denial in my eyes _

_I'm mesmerized by the picture that's in my mind_

Peyton bobbed her head along with the music. After much pushing from Brooke she had shuffled into work and was actually glad for it. The distraction was exactly what she needed. She was going over all of Mia's tracks and like so many times in her life the lyrics spoke to her.

Her other distraction was packing. She had a message on her machine in TRIC this morning and returned it right away. In a few days Peyton Sawyer would be free of one Lucas Scott connection. There was really only one other one.

Too bad she needed her heart to live.

She was taking posters off of the wall when she heard to sound of footsteps and what she knew was a female's voice. As it got closer she knew it was a female _editor's_ voice.

"Peyton", Lindsey said to get her attention. The blonde shut her eyes and held her breath.

"Hey guys", she said with a smile as she faced them, "what's up?"

"You're leaving?" Lucas asked before he could stop himself. Peyton took in a deep breath and nodded slowly. _They were supposed to be friends in public_, she kept reminding herself.

"Yes, I was gonna tell you after I—"

"Had already moved out?" he finished somewhat bitterly. Both women focused their eyes on him.

"No, after I knew everything was set", she supplied her true answer and glared at him.

Lindsey stared between the two former lovers and frowned. There seemed to be a lot more then friendly concern or business propositions between them. She cleared her throat and looked back at Peyton. 

"I didn't see you leave the other night", she said as she sat down.

"Yeah, I didn't wanna bother you; you had a lot of people around you" Lie. "It was fun though, I had a good time", she said while staring solely at Lindsey.

"I'm glad. You know, everyone loved Chris", Peyton tensed at his name and Lucas raised a brow. "I was sure half the girls in there were going to throw themselves at him", she laughed and Peyton laughed politely while nodding her head.

"Wouldn't be anything new. Chris always did attract the loose ones", Lucas mumbled. Lindsey extended her hand and slapped Lucas's arm. He looked down at her and she made a face pertaining to his comment.

"So, umm, is there a reason why you're here?" Peyton asked gently.

"Oh! Yes, umm, since you're like Tree Hills resident D.J. I was hoping you could get a band for the wedding", she asked meekly.

Peyton's eyes grew and she swallowed hard. "Su – sure – anyone in particular?" she asked.

"I don't really care and you know all of Luke's favorites", both blondes nodded at this comment. "I trust you."

And with those three words Peyton Sawyer felt like the worlds worst person. Lindsey did trust her. She didn't expect her to still be pining over Lucas. Her fiancé. Her soon to be husband. She felt her eyes burn and blinked rapidly to make it stop. 

Lucas Scott was marrying Lindsey Strauss.

"P. Sawyer, guess who has a date with the hot bartender!" Brooke cheered as she walked into the office. She stopped short and smiled politely. "Hi", she said awkwardly.

"Hey", Lindsey said with a smile. Lucas waved. All four of them looked at each other as an incredibly uncomfortable silence filled the room.

"So, we're going to go", Lucas finally said as he reached for Lindsey's hand. "Can you try to get someone as soon as possible", he directed to Peyton, "Only a few months to go", he smiled. Peyton nodded and hoped he was reading all her angry thoughts.

The engaged couple walked out of the room and Peyton let out a breath she didn't know she was holding.

"You okay?" Brooke asked softly. Peyton masked her feelings with a smile and nodded her head.

"Yeah, now tell me about how you got this date."

Brooke sighed, but obliged none the less.

-x-

"I told you to find her not sleep with her!"

After storming out of Peyton's house Chris aimlessly walked around Tree Hill before landing on the Scott's doorstep. He didn't know why he came here; it either ended in a verbal assault or endless teasing.

Currently it was a verbal assault.

"It just happened", he said the best he could. Nathan scowled and took a step closer to the musician. 

"Did you take advantage of her because God h—"

"No! I wouldn't do that. I'm not that guy anymore and I would never do that to her", he finished softly. Nathan unclenched his fists and relaxed his jaw.

"Sorry, I forgot."

"Forgot what?"

"That you like her", he said with a smirk.

There was that teasing.

Before he could protest Haley bounded into the kitchen. She placed her stuff on the island and rolled up her sleeves.

"Where's Jamie?" she asked frantically.

"With Carrie, they went to the park", Nathan said slowly as he watched her actions.

"I have news", she said with a serious face. A moment passed and Nathan raised a brow.

"Are you going to tell us?"

"Lucas loves Peyton", she nearly screamed.

The men looked back and forth between each other and Haley.

"That's not exactly news", Chris said. 

"Yeah", Nathan agreed. "If you wanna hear news you should ask Chris what he did last night", Nathan said with hard eyes.

"Nothing happened", Chris said with finality.

"Oh don't be shy", Nathan teased.

"Dude", Chris scolded as he flicked Nathan's head.

"Dude", Nathan mimicked and returned the gesture.

"He never meant to propose to Lindsey!"

At this, all talking ceased and they both simply stared at Haley. Chris swallowed hard and cleared his throat.

"What are you talking about?"

"I went to see him after class today and we starting talking about Peyton because I talked to Brooke and she told me about the ring thing and that Peyton went over there and I was gonna yell at him for making her so upset that she disappeared without so much as a call to any of us—"

"Hales, you're rambling", Nathan said with a gentle smile. She blushed and apologized before continuing.

"Anyway, after he told me he still loved Peyton without exactly saying it, he basically said that he set himself up for a life without her. Then I asked why he proposed in the first place and that's when he told me."

She took a minute to take a breath and Nathan and Chris sat on the edge of their seats.

"Well . . ."

"Oh right, well he came home from TRIC that night and her bags were packed. She was going to leave because she was sure he loved Peyton. He denied it and then she showed him the ring. She assumed it was hers and that he wasn't ever going to give it to her. They exchanged some words and poof! He proposed."

"Poof?"

"Poof."

"What does this mean?" Chris asked with a frantic voice.

"Nothing, he said he was going to do it eventually, just never with Peyton's ring."

"Wow", Nathan said in true shock. Haley nodded and placed her hands on her hips.

"What are we gonna do?"

"Nothing", Nathan said adamantly.

"We can't do nothing", she argued.

"He's right", Chris said, "whatever happens from here needs to be done by them, not other people", Haley furrowed her brows at his tone. She glanced at Nathan and he sent her a look that let her know he'd tell her later.

"Do you think that you and Peyton can switch roles in the whole record thing?" the sandy haired man asked as casually as he could.

"Umm, I guess . . ."

"Great, listen I have to—"

"Why?" she asked with a raised brow. Chris shrugged.

"Musical differences, I have to run, I'll see you later."

"What the hell was that all about?" Haley asked with a laugh.

"They slept together."

-x-

"So, Bartender Boy tonight was fun", Brooke said with a small smile. Owen nodded and reached for her hand.

"It was pretty good", he agreed. Brooke kinked a brow.

"Pretty good?" 

Owen nodded. "Our next date will be pretty _great_", he teased. Brooke smiled.

"What makes you think I'm gonna say yes?" she teased back as she interlocked their fingers.

"Because I've got you all figured out, Brooke Davis."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that", she said with a coy smile.

"Well then, I'm gonna need another night to figure it out", he said simply.

"Smooth", Brooke said with a smile that showed off her famous dimples. Owen shrugged and Brooke nodded. "I'd love to."

The dark haired man smiled. "I'll give you a call when I figure out where we're going."

He leaned down and brushed his lips against her cheek. "Goodnight Brooke Davis."

Brooke shivered as his lips grazed her ear. "Goodnight Owen", she breathed out.

She watched him walk to the car and sent a small wave as he pulled away. Brooke closed the door behind her and leaned against it. Owen was the perfect gentleman. Maybe she had finally found her one. She sighed contently and focused her eyes in front of her. She frowned immediately.

Her best friend was curled up on the couch with a book clutched in her hand. The crackling from the fireplace was the only noise heard.

"Peyton, you are not doing this to yourself", Brooke said sadly as she walked into the house.

"In that moment my triumph was not a State Championship, but a moment of clarity", she whispered as she brushed her fingers across the cover.

Brooke frowned and sat next to her friend. "I read it hunnie, I know how it ends", she whispered as she wiped a tear from Peyton's cheek.

The blonde nodded and clamped her eyes shut. "Its Karen's ring", she whispered as tears made their way down her cheeks.

Brooke nodded and pulled Peyton in for a hug. "I was hoping you didn't realize that", she whispered.

"God, Brooke, he's getting married", Peyton said in complete defeat. 

"I know", Brooke whispered as her lip quivered at her friend's devastation. Peyton had finally come to the realization that he was moving on, and that was never an easy thought.

"I told him I was letting him go, I told him I loved him and that if he wanted to me let go I would. He's still getting married! He doesn't love me anymore and I'm a fool for ever thinking he could, it's been three years", the tears and sobs poured out of her mouth.

Brooke tried to swallow the own lump she felt in her throat. "Sweetie, we both know that Lucas tends to jump into the wrong relationship, especially when he can't admit the truth about who he loves."

"No, it's different than last time", she said dejectedly. Brooke saw her friend's pain and nodded her head.

"Okay", she agreed softly as she smoothed Peyton's hair. 

"What do I do now, Brooke?" Peyton pleaded for an answer. She glanced at the fireplace and grabbed Peyton's hand.

"Come here", she pulled her up and they stood in front of the fireplace.

"First you're finally gonna let it go", she handed Peyton the book and with one last glance the blonde tossed it into the fire. Brooke wrapped an arm around Peyton's waist and blindly guided them to the couch.

"And now we are going to sit here, and you are going to let yourself cry on my shoulder for as long as you need to", Brooke cradled Peyton's head and tried to hold back her own tears as Peyton's sobs filled the quiet house.

_Cause I've seen your act_

_A__nd I know all the facts_

_I'm still in love with who I wish you were_

_It ain't hard to see_

_Who you are underneath_

_I'm still in love with who I wish you were_

_And I wish you were here 

* * *

_

Next chapter will take place a few weeks later. Let me know what you think!


	11. Tick Tick Boom

**I still don't own One Tree Hill, nor do I own, "Tick Tick Boom" by The Hives.**

Some dialogue from 5x09. Thanks so much for the reviews!

* * *

_And you come crying to me, but it's too late  
__  
The man you try hard to be, but it's too late _

Get your head out the sand, but it's too late

it's too late, too late, too late, too late 

"Brooke, I told you to make her dress."

Peyton sighed as she cradled the phone between her ear and her shoulder and read over some paperwork. Multitasking wasn't as easy as it seemed.

"No, Brooke I do not hate her. It's not her fault Lucas proposed."

She signed the bottom of certain pages and placed the stapled stack on the other end of her desk. Since she got the new office about a month ago things had skyrocketed. Mia's record was going to be released in a few weeks and Peyton was sure it was going to be a hit. The girl had incredible talent.

"B. Davis I will not hate you for making her dress."

This had been a constant argument between the childhood best friends for a few days. Lindsey kept bringing it up to Brooke and the brunette was putting her off as often as she could.

"No I won't! Listen, brides are supposed to look their best and if Lindsey is wearing something that you make it will most definitely make her look her best."

Flattery was sure to work. Peyton heard Brooke scoff and she knew that Brooke wasn't that dense.

"I already had this conversation with Haley yesterday. If I'm not going to hate her for being the Matron of Honor I can't hate you."

Haley had been asked a few days after Peyton's big blow out with Lucas. She found it hard to say no to people so of course she agreed on spot. Later that night Peyton got a teary phone call apologizing for doing it.

"I love you all for being so concerned about me, but there isn't any need to, it's been weeks. I can honestly say I've moved on", Peyton's mouth dropped in shock, "Are you laughing at me?"

Over time letting go of Lucas would have been easy. They hadn't seen each other. Peyton dealt with everything through Lindsey. Nobody brought him up in conversation. It was as if Lucas never existed. Except, he was still alive in her heart.

Lindsey walked through the front door and Peyton rushed Brooke off the phone. "I have to go, I'll be home late because I'm babysitting, I'll see you tomorrow, have fun with Owen", she sang out.

"Knock, knock", Lindsey said as she peeked her head inside. Peyton smiled and motioned her in.

"Hey Lindsey."

"Look at you, big time record exec", she said with a smile. Peyton laughed and cursed the woman in her head. She made it too hard to hate her.

"Small time record exec", Peyton clarified.

"Record exec", Lindsey finished with a smile.

"Fair enough", both women laughed. "So, is there a specific reason as to why you dropped in?"

"I was just checking in on the band situation", Lindsey said casually. Peyton nodded.

"Right, well right now it's still a toss up between Jimmy Eat World and Dashboard Confessional, but it doesn't really matter because Lucas loves both of them", she said breezily.

"You know him so well", Lindsey said in awe. Peyton's head snapped from her paperwork to the light haired brunette in front of her.

"Well, he . . . we; I", Peyton stopped herself from making a bigger fool of herself and took a breath.

"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable", Lindsey apologized, "It's just crazy, I mean you guys are like the same person", she laughed and Peyton smiled politely. Why was she so surprised, didn't she read his book?

Not knowing what to say, Peyton simply shrugged.

"I wanted to thank you", she said suddenly, "I know that this has probably been weird and everything, but it just proves that you still are that Peyton."

The blonde raised a brow and Lindsey continued. "The one from Lucas's book. She always seemed so noble", Peyton blushed and shook her head.

"I'm not really that girl anymore, I honestly don't think I ever was; Lucas always liked to see the better in people", she brushed everything off.

"No, you are", Lindsey assured her, "In a way this whole thing breaks my heart. I really was rooting for them", she whispered. Peyton's eyes burned and she blinked rapidly. She laughed and shook her head.

"Well, that was a whole book ago", she joked, "Everyone will be rooting for you guys now."

The words slipped out of her mouth easily and both women wanted to believe it, but neither of them did.

"So, umm there's another reason I'm here . . . I was wondering if you would do a reading at the ceremony."

Peyton's eyes widened. This girl just wondered a ton of things. "Umm, I . . . sure", Peyton said with a tight smile.

"Great! Once again, I completely trust you so whatever reading you think would fit I'm sure would be great."

She took this trust thing to new heights. Peyton nodded and slowly glanced around her office. As the woman walked through the door she called her back.

"Look, you gave me this when I was starting this baby up", she said with a laugh, "Since you're starting an even bigger dream, you should take this", Peyton said sweetly as she handed her the bamboo.

Lindsey eyed the plant before taking it in her hands. "Thanks Peyton", she smiled and left the room. Peyton leaned against the doorway and grinned.

She may not hate the girl, but that didn't mean she loved her.

------------------------------

"Considering you're Brooke Davis, you'd think you have at least some customer's when I come in here."

"I do, but every time they see you coming they run", she kinked a brow and smirked.

Chris dramatically placed a hand over his heart. "That got me, Davis; right here", she laughed and threw a hair tie at him.

"Please", she said with a roll of her eyes. Chris walked forward and rested his elbows on the counter.

"What's got you all angry?"

"My curly haired best friend hung up on me and she knows how much I hate it", she said as she glared at the phone; as if Peyton could still hear her.

"How's she doing?" he asked casually.

"Chris, can you stop pretending like you don't visit to purposely ask me about her?" she asked exasperatedly.

His mouth dropped indignantly. "I do no such thing."

"Chris, you've come here everyday for the past month. I get that we became close when you first got here, but this is borderline friends", she teased.

"We _are_ friends, Davis", Chris mirrored her smirk.

"Seriously though, we all know why you make it a point to see us."

Chris waved her off. "Whatever, answer the question."

"What would you do if I decided not to tell you?"

Chris shrugged. "Ask Nathan . . . or Haley", he said simply.

"We spoil you", she said dryly.

"Are you purposely avoiding answering me?" he asked with a raised brow. Brooke shook her head.

"She's the same as she was yesterday, and the day before that, and the week before that . . . she's dealing", Brooke finished softly.

Chris nodded understandingly. "I don't have to beat anyone up right?"

"She's burying herself in work, Chris. She's not really dealing, she thinks she is, but trust me, the second she's alone with that boy every instinct will fly out the window", she said from experience.

"Well, make sure you're all there for her", Chris demanded.

"We've done nothing but be there for her. I can't believe I'm going to say this, but other than Lucas you're the only one she's fully opened up to. You can read her better than I can and I've been her best friend since we were eight."

"Whatever you're thinking forget it", he warned with a stern finger. He left he counter and began to search the clothing racks; Brooke was hot on his heels.

"Chris, I know she misses you", Brooke rasped softly. "She feels horrible about the way things happened between the two of you, you should talk to her."

"I can't", he said with wide eyes.

"Why not?"

"Because, I'm not proud about how I acted either. I should have listened to her when she said we should stop, I called her names, Brooke; I was really mean", he admitted with a pout.

"That's why you should talk to her!" Brooke said as she threw her hands in the air, "You need to clear things up, Chris."

"Brooke I—"

"Do you still like her?"

Chris paused for a moment before shaking his head. "I care about her, I want to see her happy, but I don't have feelings for her anymore. Once you realize someone is completely in love with someone else, it makes it slightly easier to move on", he said with a sad laugh.

"Maybe that's why it's so hard for her", Brooke said softly. Chris raised an interested brow. "Do you seriously think Lucas is over her?"

"Good point", he said with a head nod. He searched the racks and then looked around the store. "You don't sell male clothes do you?"

"It's Clothes _over_ Bros, what do you think Keller?"

"Good point again."

"What do you need fancy clothes for?"

"I'll have you know I have a date tonight", he said with a smirk.

"Yeah right", Brooke scoffed, "with whom?"

"Just for that attitude, I'm not telling you", he countered. Brooke pouted and stomped her foot.

"Then get out of my store", she pointed to the front and Chris looked at her in disbelief.

"You're kidding."

"I'm as serious as a heart attack", she folded her arms over her chest and glared. Chris rolled his eyes and trudged to the door.

Brooke fixed some of the clothes and returned to her spot behind the counter and her magazine. As she flipped the page, the chime sounded. She didn't raise her head, but a small smirk graced her lips.

"I really need some fashion advice", Chris said meekly.

------------------------------

Nathan charged to the door and grinned when he opened it.

"Here I am, as promised", Peyton said with a smile as she walked inside.

"Thanks for doing this, Peyton", Nathan said sincerely as he adjusted his tie.

"Nathan, please", she said as she rolled her eyes. "I may not be his _godmother_, but I love him", she stressed with a sweet smile.

Nathan held his hands up. "Blame Haley for that one", she smiled.

"Kidding, so like I said I love the little guy, but don't you have a nanny?" she raised a brow.

"She met a guy at TRIC the other night and she hadn't stopped talking about him. Hales gave her the night off and completely forgot about our reservations", he rolled his eyes at his wife's actions.

"Oh, Nanny Carrie's dating. Better hope she doesn't bring him home", she teased.

Nathan laughed uneasily and debated if he should tell her. Peyton raised a brow at his sudden change in demeanor.

"I was kidding."

"I know, it's not that", he rubbed the back of his neck and Peyton stared at him pointedly.

"Did you give Lindsey a bamboo plant?" he asked with a smirk. Peyton blushed.

"I may have, you're avoiding the situation . . . what's going on, Nate?"

"She's going out with Chris", he said softly. Peyton sucked in a breath and slowly nodded her head.

"Wow, well . . . good for him."

Peyton bit her lip. She was genuinely happy for him. Carrie seemed like a great girl and Chris deserved the best. It's just that he was a sore subject. Peyton hadn't seen him since he stormed out of her room weeks ago. Before she could say another word Haley entered.

"Peyton", Haley said in shock, "what are you doing here?"

"I'm babysitting", she said slowly. Nathan chuckled at her sarcasm and Haley furrowed her brows.

"Um, but I already asked—"

"Where's my nephew!" a masculine voice boomed as he walked into the house.

"Lucas", Haley finished with a sheepish smile.

The married couple exchanged glances and quickly looked back at the two blondes. Before a word of protest could be said they grabbed their coats and walked out the door.

Lucas and Peyton stood there uncomfortably. This was the closest contact they'd had in a month. Lucas couldn't help but to stare, of course discreetly. She looked different. She had a presence about her that he hadn't seen in a while.

"Hi", he said awkwardly.

_Or is it? _

Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, boom!

* * *

Leyton babysitting – it will be fluffy at times and angsty as always. Let me know what you think!

**Tuesday's episode;**

Haley wants a divorce.

Nathan lies to everyone.

Mia's a star.

Peyton stuck to her morals.

Rachel's a druggie.

Dan might be free!

Brooke's still an amazing friend.

Owen is the exact type of guy Brooke has always deserved.

And the best part . . . no Lucas and Lindsey fake love.

All around this was a great episode. I know I've been a Haley hater recently, but I had tears in my eyes at every Naley scene. Joy did an amazing job at making you feel her complete devastation of everything.

Who's pumped for a 6th season??!!??


	12. Hanging On for Hope

**I don't own One Tree Hill, nor do I own "Hanging On For Hope" by The New Amsterdams.**

Thank you so much for all the reviews!

* * *

_Are you hanging on for hope? _

_It's all you've got worth living for. _

_Much too hard to cope the road out? _

_There's a tension when we speak. _

_The income's overrated but _

_It's worth it when we meet on common ground._

"Hi", he said awkwardly.

Peyton sighed and rolled her eyes before leaving the room.

"Good conversation", Lucas mumbled before following her.

"Peyton!" he called out. She stopped and faced him with her hands on her hips.

"Did you put them up to this?" she asked with a glare.

He scoffed. "Do you honestly think I'd volunteer for this type of treatment?"

She shrugged. "You set yourself up for it."

"I am so sick of you playing the martyr", he said angrily. She opened her mouth in shock. Martry?

"I'm not playing martyr, Luke. I want you to be happy and she makes you happy. Sorry for caring about you", she said sarcastically.

"Did you care about me the whole time you were hanging out with Chris Keller?" he asked in jealousy and tried not to sound to surprised by his words; he had no idea where that came from.

Peyton raised a brow angrily. "Do not bring him into this, Lucas", she said as she shook her head.

"Don't wanna talk about your boyfriend?" he asked bitterly.

"How's your fiancée?" she asked in the same tone.

"She's great", he said without hesitation, "How's Chris?" he asked again.

"I wouldn't know, we haven't talked in a while", she said for lack of a better term.

"You push him away too?" he sneered.

"No, actually we got drunk and slept together because I was upset about you and he apparently liked me. We haven't talked since", as soon as the words left her mouth she wanted to take them back. He didn't need to know what happened between her and Chris. He didn't need to know anything at all, but Lucas Scott made her open up.

He instantly froze and curled his fists. She had slept with someone else. Chris Keller of all people!

"You had sex with him!" he said in a loud whisper.

"How many times have you slept with Lindsey?"

"That's different, I love her", Peyton flinched at the words and he pretended not to notice.

"And I loved you, but I couldn't have you. You gave another woman my ring and I was a little upset, sorry for wanting to feel something other then heartache for once in my life!"

She had used the past tense and Lucas tried not to flinch. She had _loved_ him? Was she actually over him?

"I'm sorry the time we spent together was so horrible."

"They were the best years of my life, but you have no damn patience so the last three kinda sucked."

"Do you seriously wanna do this right now?" he asked with hard eyes. Peyton sighed and glanced back at Jamie who was drawing contently at his little desk.

"I guess not. Let's just be civil in front of James and get this over with."

"Fine with me."

-x-

Peyton sat on the couch and flipped through the channels. There was nothing on TV on a Thursday night. This was the easiest job she'd ever had. Jamie was perfectly content playing on his own in his playroom. She didn't even have her unwanted company because he was currently passed out on the recliner to her left.

His mouth was slightly open and every once in a while a snore escaped. She tried to fight it, but a smile graced her lips. Who did he think he was? He had no reason to get so angry over everything with Chris; there wasn't anything to be angry about. It's not like she was marrying him, they weren't even friends anymore. She could still hear the tone of his voice and she could have sworn he said it all out his love for her, but that was more then likely her hopeful side. She heard the sound of small feet behind her and put a smile on her face just for him.

"I'm bored, Peyton", Jamie said as he jumped up on the couch.

Peyton smiled and ruffled his hair. "Well, what would you like to do, munchkin?"

"I don't know", he said in a high voice. He squinted his eyes and Peyton felt the wind get knocked out of her; he acted so much like Lucas. "I want cookies", he said suddenly.

Peyton raised a brow and pursed her lips. "Well, do you know where your mom keeps the Oreo's?" she asked with a smile.

Jamie frowned and shook his head. "I want the homemade kind", he pouted and folded his arms over his chest.

Peyton rolled her eyes. Making cookies with Lucas Scott in the house, this was the best day ever!

"Fine, let's go see if we've got all the equipment", Jamie grinned and jumped from the couch. He grabbed Peyton's hand and dragged her into the kitchen.

The sound of a child's laughter woke Lucas. He furrowed his brows and took in his surroundings. He groaned and straightened the recliner. He had fallen asleep when he should have been babysitting. He was sure Peyton hated him even more now.

He followed the laughter to the kitchen and stopped in the doorway. Peyton and James had their backs to him and they were making cookies. Well, they were trying to. There was flour almost everywhere, the bag of chocolate chip cookies was half spilled and the mixer had caused some dough to fly around the room.

"Jamie, only a dash of salt", he heard Peyton speak.

"How much is a dash?" he asked with what Lucas could imagine was a scrunched up face.

"You really shouldn't ask her", Lucas's voice caused Peyton to gasp and face him. She placed a hand over her heart and took a deep breath.

"Way to scare a girl, Scott", she muttered. Lucas simply smirked and walked over to Jamie.

"Why can't I ask Peyton?"

"Because she doesn't know the difference between a dash and a handful", he said with a smile while looking at Peyton. Her mouth dropped indignantly.

"I certainly do."

Lucas ignored her and spoke to Jamie. "Once, she made cookies and put a whole handful of salt in them", he exaggerated some words and James's eye lit up with shock.

"A _whole_ handful?"

"Mmhmm, from that day on, I told her she was never allowed to make cookies if I wasn't around, but obviously she forgot that", he teased as he returned his eyes to her.

Peyton smiled in spite of herself. "Don't listen to your Uncle, Baby James. I promise that our cookies will be just fine."

The small boy looked at her unsurely. "I don't know . . ."

Peyton gasped and glared at Lucas. "Okay Mr. Negative, try this", she demanded as she scooped some dough onto her finger. She held it out to Lucas and as he brought his hand up to take it from her she leaned forward and smeared it on his face. James's eyes grew in a mixture of shock and delight.

"What do you think?" she asked innocently. Lucas smirked and wiped it from his cheek.

"Actually, it's not too bad, but I might need another opinion", he said while staring down at Jamie.

The little boy stepped back with a smile on his face. "Don't get any ideas, Uncle Luke."

"What are you talking about, J Luke?" he feigned innocence.

"Don't worry, I've got your back", Peyton said as she held the bowl down to his level.

"Peyton, we've done this before, remember who won?"

Peyton flushed at the look on his face and the memory of that night before quickly answering.

"Yeah, and it wasn't you", she scooped some more dough onto her finger and threw it in his direction. It landed on his neck and James and Peyton squealed in delight.

"You think that's funny?" he asked his one time love as he grabbed the pan with globs of uncooked dough on it.

"You wouldn't dare", she whispered with a confident smirk; one that was soon met by a mass of raw batter.

"Peyton!" James yelled. She immediately handed down the bowl and he scooped some onto his fingers and hurled it in the direction of the blonde Scott.

"James, you're my family!" Lucas gasped as he dodged the round ball. The small boy shrugged and answered.

"Yeah, but she's my Peyton", both adults stopped and smiled at his words. Lucas looked at her as she smiled at James; she certainly had a hold on the Scott boys.

_Splat_

Lucas frowned and wiped the batter from his forehead. "Oh it's on", he said with determination.

He watched as Peyton and James fled the kitchen.

As he listened to Peyton's laughter fill his ears he knew that despite what happened between them she would always be _his_ Peyton.

-x-

Lucas wiped at his shirt as he stepped into the living room. Who knew bathing a four year old could be so . . . messy. James felt the need to splash everywhere, but of course it was because he was playing Superman, Lucas practically had to rip the cape from his neck.

He walked past the kitchen and peered in quickly; sure enough it was spotless. They had made a deal that Lucas would bathe and put Jamie to sleep and Peyton would clean the kitchen. He stepped into the living room and took a moment before making his presence known. The lights were dimmed and she was staring blankly straight ahead. He heard a voice coming from the speakers, but paid no notice to it. Gathering a breath, he spoke.

"He should be sleeping", Lucas said softly. Peyton snapped back to reality and nodded.

"Well, if he gets up, I'll be notified", she smiled as she pointed to the walkie-talkie.

He looked over at her and smiled. He was sitting beside her on the couch and the way the dim lighting reflected off her hair made his breath catch in his throat. She was an angel, heaven sent, and it completely broke his heart because she wasn't his. He frowned at that thought and shook his head to rid them.

"The kitchen looks good", he broke the silence.

She sighed dramatically and it made him laugh. "I forgot how messy cookie dough fights were", she said with a laugh.

"That's because the last time we did that we had a different way of cleaning", he said with a smirk. Peyton pursed her lips and rolled her eyes.

"I think you're exaggerating that a little", she mumbled in embarrassment.

"Maybe you better re-read that chapter", he teased.

She put her head down before bringing it back up to look into his eye. "I would, but Brooke and I kinda burned it", she admitted through a whisper.

"Wow", Lucas said after a moment of shocked silence.

"Yeah, it was after . . . well everything", she said with a sad laugh. Lucas bowed his head. Silence passed between them and for the first time he listened to the noise that surrounded them.

"You burned it, but are sitting here listening to it?"

Peyton blushed. "Umm, yeah, I wanted to see if Nathan's musical taste improved. This was on and I just haven't been able to turn it off."

Lucas nodded knowingly. "Jamie used to ask Haley to read it to him, eventually she just popped this in and he would sit here for hours."

"It's my favorite part", she whispered. He turned from her to the stereo system and listened to his words.

"_**Suddenly it was as if the roar of the crowd, the echo of the final buzzer, the cheers of my teammates were all sounding from a thousand miles away"**_

"I'm sorry", he immediately said with a hoarse voice.

"Lucas, really you don't need to—"

"Yes I do. Peyton I'm sorry for everything that's happened the past two months. You didn't deserve any of it and I have never been more ashamed of my actions. Everything I said before was uncalled for. What you do and who you do it with is none of my business."

Even as the words flew from his mouth he felt his fists curl and his teeth clench. She had slept with Chris Keller. Chris Keller took everyone away from him. Chris Keller was a manipulator and a liar and probably tricked Peyton into sleeping with him.

Lucas shook his head. Maybe he needed to stop blaming other people.

"Thank you, Lucas. That means a lot", she whispered with a smile. He heard the resonance of his words and frowned slightly.

"It seems like a lifetime ago", he said softly.

"_**And what remained in that bizarre, muffled silence was only Peyton."**_

"It was", Peyton agreed. Lucas nodded and turned to face her.

"So, what have you been doing for the past month?"

Peyton took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Oh, a little of everything. I've been drawing more. I got the new office all set up. Mia's been recording. I've been tracking down a band for the wedding", she finished quietly.

"_**The girl who's art, and passion, and beauty had changed my life."**_

"What about you?" she asked as she got more comfortable beside him.

He took a breath. "Umm, well, we won a game . . . finally. I've been writing a lot, which is great. Wedding plans have been pretty intense", he added the last part because she had felt the need to bring up his fiancée at a moment like this. Peyton nodded.

Silence passed between the two former lovers and it gave them the chance to notice just how close they were sitting. Her leg brushed his and they both shivered at the feeling. She looked from the stereo back to Lucas and a small smile graced her lips. Lucas smiled too, but purely because she was.

"What?"

"Were you painting earlier, with James?" the tone of her voice made it obvious that she knew the answer.

"Yeah, why?'

"You have some paint . . ." she trailed off and pointed to her own cheek to demonstrate. Lucas blushed and mumbled something she couldn't hear. He licked his finger and blindly wiped at the spot. He looked at her for an answer and she simply laughed. He scowled before doing it again.

"Come here", she said with a laugh. She licked her thumb and cupped his face with her hands. Her thumb gently smoothed over the blue mark and Lucas closed his eyes at the feeling. Reality faded away and all that was left was Lucas and Peyton.

"You know what I've really tried to do?" at the sound of her voice Lucas opened his eyes, "this past month I have tried so hard to let you go", she whispered.

He placed his hands over hers and watched at tears formed in her green orbs. He instantly felt his pulse speed up and his throat dry.

"_**In that moment my triumph was not a State Championship, but simple clarity."**_

"Peyton", he whispered as a soft breeze from the open window past between them. She inched forward and their noses brushed.

"I hate the fact that I'm gonna love you forever, Lucas Scott", she whispered the phrase that brought them back to much happier days.

"_**The realization that we had always been meant for each other and every instinct to the contrary had simply been a denial of the following truth . . ."**_

"Peyton I—"

"We're home!"

The booming voice of his brother caused Peyton to reel back. She looked into his eyes and shook her head.

"_**I was now; I would always be, in love with Peyton Sawyer."**_

Lucas watched her walk away and tried to steady his rapidly beating heart. He grabbed the remote and turned off the stereo with a sigh.

_Do you ever miss her? _

_Do you feel the cold wind whisper? _

_Is there anything more deafening?_

* * *

I know the paint thing was reminiscent of Crazy Carrie, but my way was better and this was written with that intended the whole time. Let me know what you think!


	13. A Twist In My Story

**I don't own One Tree Hill, nor do I own "A Twist In My Story" by Secondhand Serenade.**

Secondhand Serenade is amazing; this is off of their second album. I recommend that you all download it. Thanks so much for the reviews!

This is just under 3,000 words, I know you all say you don't mind the length, but I still feel the need to apologize. I guess you could call this the turning point chapter. **And I can guarantee you will not have seen the last part coming.

* * *

**

_I'm longing, for words to describe how I'm feeling_

I'm feeling inspired

My world just flip turned upside down

It turns around, say what's that sound

It's my heart beat, it's getting much louder

My heart beat, is stronger than ever

I'm feeling so alive, I'm feeling so alive

Lucas took a deep breath as he knocked on the front door. He wasn't sure why he was here, but he needed to take a walk and low and behold, it led him to a certain blonde.

They had almost kissed. He had almost kissed her. Even after Nathan and Haley came into the room with a timid looking Peyton behind them his nerves were running on edge. With the realization that he had wanted to kiss her again, right there in front of his brother and best friend fresh in his mind, he left the house.

It wasn't one of his proudest moments, but he was doing what he did best. _Running_.

That was four days ago. He had avoided her and to be honest he figured she was avoiding him. They last time they did kiss he proposed to Lindsey and basically said that he didn't love her, he couldn't blame Peyton for keeping away. But enough was enough; they needed to talk about it. He needed to know how she felt about it.

"Luke, hey", Brooke opened the door further and Lucas stepped inside.

"Where's Lindsey?" she asked as they walked down the hall and into the kitchen.

"At home . . . she's nervous about the fitting later so she's cleaning."

Brooke kinked a brow. "There aren't any other rings she might find, are there?"

"Funny", he said deadpanned.

"I wasn't kidding", she mumbled. "So, what brings you by?"

"Is Peyton here?"

"She's in her room, but make it quick I have to take her to the airport soon", she said as she flipped the page of her magazine.

"The airport?" Lucas asked. Brooke froze and bit her lip.

"She didn't tell you?" By his expression she could only guess that he was completely clueless. "I have got to stop doing this", she mumbled to herself, "Umm, you better go and talk to her."

Lucas did as he was told and seemingly ran down the hallway. Her door was open and he peered inside before fully staring. He stood in her doorway with a sense of sad nostalgia looming over his head. It was like watching her pack four years ago. He felt like she was leaving him.

"You're leaving?" Lucas asked as he walked into her bedroom. Peyton stopped and faced him with a small smile.

"Umm, yeah", she tucked a curl behind her ear, "I'm going to LA for a few days. Mia's CD comes out soon and I want to get her name out in advanced."

Lucas nodded. "Were you going to tell anyone?"

"Brooke knows", she said obviously.

"I meant your friends", he ignored her smart remark.

"It's only a few days and you all have a lot going on. I figured I'd be back before any of you noticed I was gone", she said with a shrug.

"That'd be impossible", he muttered under his breath. He raised his eyes to see if she noticed his blunder and was glad that she had returned to packing.

"Don't you think we should talk?" he asked as he took a step closer. Peyton shut her eyes.

"It was stupid", she said before he could speak. "We got caught up in the moment, it didn't mean anything."

A sense of déjà vu hit both of them and Lucas couldn't resist testing the waters.

"It didn't?"

Peyton felt the words on the tip of her tongue. They were right there, begging to come out. She thought back to her actions after her confession junior year and she knew she could never be that girl again.

"No, it didn't."

History wouldn't repeat itself.

Lucas nodded hesitantly. "Alright."

Lucas may not have known it, but how he responded to the next set of questions would inevitably determine _their_ outcome. "I mean, you're getting married. That night we just let old memories take over. It never has to get brought up. We can be friends, right?"

Lucas stared at the girl he had loved since he was sixteen years old. This was the girl who had inspired his life in so many ways. She had made him feel things he never thought were possible.

And now she wanted to be friends.

"Sure", he said with a fake smile.

He was getting married to someone that wasn't her. He had used her ring. She was booking the band. She was giving a reading.

Friendship was the least he could give her.

"Well then, I'll let you finish up here", he said awkwardly. Peyton nodded.

He walked to the door, but stopped in the archway. "Can I . . . can I get a goodbye hug before you leave?" he asked timidly.

Peyton stared at him and felt herself nodding in agreement; he had no idea how right _goodbye_ was. She watched him walk towards her and spread his arms out. She closed the gap and raised her arms to lock around his neck. It was a hug they had given each other many times when they were friends, but like all those times; this hug meant so much more.

She took a deep breath and inhaled his scent. A moment later he did the same and she knew it was for the same reasons. She raised her green eyes to the ceiling and willed herself not to cry. He pulled away from her, but kept his hands planted on her hips.

"Be safe out there, okay?" he said with a hoarse voice. She swallowed hard; he knew just how significant this moment was.

"LA doesn't know what it's in for", she said with a small smile. He smiled too and nodded his head. His grip on her hips loosed and she let out a breath she didn't know she was holding.

He walked out of her room and at that moment it happened.

Peyton Sawyer started to let go of Lucas Scott.

------------------------------

"Let's move it, P. Sawyer!" Brooke bellowed down the hallway. A second later the curly blonde appeared with a suitcase in her hands.

"That's all you're packing?" Brooke asked incredulously. Peyton laughed.

"Brooke, I'm only going for five days."

"So, that's enough for like", she furrowed her brows and thought, "a lot of outfits", she said with a shrug.

"I'm gonna miss you, B. Davis", Peyton said with a laugh as she threw her arm over the brunettes shoulder.

"I'll miss you too. I like having a roommate", she whispered with a smile.

"Well, maybe Owen can be your roommate for few days", Peyton said with a smirk. Brooke gasped and playfully slapped her friend.

"Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer", she said indignantly.

"Brooke Penelope Davis", the blonde mocked.

"There will be none of that, Owen is a gentleman", Peyton smiled at her friends happiness.

"He better be."

"You know, you should listen to your own advice . . . you'll be on a mini vacation; have sex with someone", this time it was Peyton's turn to gasp.

"Brooke! I'm not going to sleep with a stranger."

"I'm just saying, vacation sex is the hottest kind of sex, it wouldn't kill you", she muttered.

They stood in front of the door and Peyton stopped her before opening it. "What does that mean?"

Brooke shrugged innocently. "The last person you slept with was Chris; the last person you nearly kissed was Lucas—"

"You promised not to talk about that", she said with a warning finger.

"It wouldn't kill you to get drunk and let loose, you don't have to sleep with anyone, but flirt, kiss, tease", Brooke placed her hands on both of Peyton's shoulders and shook her gently, "You're a woman, use what you've got."

Peyton rolled her eyes and pulled the door open; both women gasped.

"Chris", Peyton whispered.

Brooke looked between the two former friends and smirked. She knew Chris wouldn't let her leave without clearing the air.

"I'm gonna wait in the car", she mumbled as she slipped away.

Peyton stepped back and let Chris walk into the house. She folded her arms over her chest and bit her lip.

"Wha – what are you doing here?" she asked quietly.

"Brooke told me you were going to LA", he said in the same tone. She nodded her head. "I just wanted to say goo – I'm sorry", his icy demeanor changed and his shoulders slumped.

"No, I'm sorry", Peyton said as tears immediately clouded her eyes.

Chris shook his head. "That night was just as much my fault. You said we shouldn't do it, but I pressured you into it."

"Chris, I'm a grown woman, you didn't force me into anything", she said with finality.

They both looked at each other and Chris sighed. "How about we agree that it was both our faults?"

Peyton nodded in agreement. "Does this mean we're friends again?" she asked in a small voice.

The sandy haired brunette eyed her playfully. "As long as you promise not to sleep with me again."

She slapped his chest. "That's a promise I can keep."

"Good", he mocked exasperation, "Now come here", he spread his arms out wide and Peyton lunged into his embrace.

"I missed you, Chris", she whispered and hugged him a little tighter. Chris smiled.

"I missed you too, Goldilocks", he pulled her back to arms length. "Back to LA huh?"

"Yeah, for a few days", the sound of a honking horn cut her off, "That's my cue", she said as she pointed to the door.

"Give'em hell, Sawyer", he said as he playfully ruffled her curls. She scowled and moved from his gesture.

"I plan on it, Keller", she said as she playfully pinched his cheek. He pushed her hand away and grabbed her bag. They walked out to the car and before Peyton got in Chris spoke.

"Call me when you land and call me everyday, if I have to beat someone down there up I'd like to know so that I can tell Nathan and we'll fly down together", Peyton laughed and rolled her eyes.

"I'll see you in a few days", Peyton hugged him one last time and he watched as she pulled out of the driveway.

She was happy, that was obvious in the smile she wore on her face. She stuck her head out the window and waved once last time before disappearing down the road and he realized that Brooke was right.

He could read her and even though she smiled and laughed, the pain in her eyes stuck out like her hair was on fire.

And in that moment he wanted nothing more then to kick Lucas Scott's ass.

------------------------------

Lucas walked into his bedroom and stopped instantly. Lindsey sat on the bed with her head down and her hands folded in her lap. Her suitcase was packed beside her.

"Linds?" he asked hesitantly.

This whole scene was far too familiar for him. She didn't raise her head; she wiped at a tear and cleared her throat.

"Everyone in your book had a nickname. Karen; the warrior, Keith; the hero, Brooke; the bubbly brunette, Haley; the fighter, and so on. I read chapter after chapter and I started to love the little nicknames; it gave me some kind of clue as to who they were before I really got to know them. I can remember coming to the chapter about Peyton and she didn't have a nickname. I never thought anything of it, but I guess I should have. She never needed a separate title because she was just _Peyton_, your Peyton. One word wouldn't have been enough to sum her up in your eyes."

"Lindsey, what are you talking about?" he asked as he sat beside her.

"Then I came to the chapter titled The Box and I can remember thinking that maybe this wasn't the best idea; choosing to publish your novel. I couldn't see the possibility of writing an entire chapter, pages upon pages, about some box, but you had. So anyway, I started it and the second I read the first sentence I knew that there was so much more to this cardboard shoebox and by the time I was done with that chapter I had tears in my eyes. The words you used and the way you articulated everything . . . that box was like your heart."

Lucas swallowed hard at everything she was saying. He had no idea where she was going with this, but so far the trip down memory lane was less then enjoyable.

"When we got together it was hard not to think about those things. I mean I had read your life and I knew how much these people meant to you, especially Peyton, but I tried; I really did. I may have also snooped around. I searched high and low for that box because I knew that it meant she was still in your heart; still had your heart and when I didn't find it I felt like I could breathe a little easier. That maybe, just maybe you could fall in love with me. I never would have guessed that the box became a whole drawer", she whispered.

His stomach dropped and on instinct his eyes flew to his desk, sure enough the last drawer was wide open.

"Lindsey, that stuff is from a long time ago, I just moved it there to make space for you to put your stuff in the closet", it was amazing how the lies flowed freely from his mouth.

Lindsey shook her head. "Lucas, you and I both know that's not true."

"Lindsey, none of that is new", he whispered as he stared at what was in her hand.

"I only noticed the drawer because as I was dusting off your desk, this was sticking out. You kept her check", she said as she held up the rectangular paper.

"I was going to give it back to her."

He had a feeling he knew where this conversation was going. He was going to try and convince her of otherwise, but at the end of this all he knew what the outcome would be.

"Months later?"

The tone she was using with him was excruciating. She wasn't yelling and she didn't even sound angry. She was defeated and it killed him to think that he had done this to yet another woman.

"Okay, so maybe I threw it in there, but that's completely coincidental."

"I always had faith in us", she began again in the same somber tone, "Even though Peyton was in town and I knew the type of history you two had . . . I was sure that you were mine, that I had all of you—"

"You do", he assured her, "Linds, I wouldn't have proposed if I didn't love you."

"That's what I told myself. You loved me. You proposed to me, not Peyton. I had that special part of you that even she never attained", she unfolded the other piece of paper and handed it over to him.

"It's a letter your mother wrote to you, I guess right after you asked for the ring", she whispered as more tears clouded her eyes.

Lucas swallowed hard. "She just had some last motherly advice to give me", he tried to joke to ease the suffocating feeling that had taken over.

"It's dated from three and a half years ago."

And just like that his cover was blown.

"Lindsey . . ." at this point he knew there was nothing he could say. She knew he had used another woman's ring . . . Peyton's ring for her. She took his large hand and placed the ring in his palm. She curled his hand around it.

"I can't be your backup plan. I can't be the girl you _have_ to marry because it's better then being alone. I deserve better", she stood and kissed his temple before gathering her bags.

"Find your happiness, Lucas Scott."

"I'm sorry", he said, his eyes filled with unshed tears.

Lindsey nodded her head. "Me too."

As his bedroom door closed Lucas was overcome with emotions. His engagement was off. He was alone. He wasn't going to get married in a few months. He was going to have to tell everyone. Lindsey hated him. He had broken another girl's heart.

He felt as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

_I'm finally waking up, a twist in my story_

It's time I open up, and let your love right through me

I'm finally waking up, a twist in my story

It's time I open up, and let your love right through me

That's what you get

When you see your life in someone else's eyes

That's what you get, that's what you get

* * *

Lucas and Lindsey are done, but now Peyton's gone. What will happen when she gets back? Will he finally step it up or will something else get in the way? Let me know what you think!

P.S. -- I know Lucas didn't end things, and that will be addressed in a different chapter. 


	14. Close Your Eyes

**I still own nothing, not even "Close Your Eyes" by Turn.**

Lovely song. Thanks so much for all the reviews! 300 and this is only chapter 14! You are all amazing; this is the reason I spoil you all.

* * *

_Now's the time to close your eyes, _

_So now's the time to trace the line back home. _

_To feel at last, the love left in your past._

"Brooke, just tell me what time her flight lands", Lucas begged as he followed her around the store.

"Absolutely not", she said with determination in her voice.

"Come on", he begged in aggravation. She stopped short and Lucas bumped into her.

"Why are you so set on picking her up?" She placed her hands on her hips and narrowed her eyes.

Lucas swallowed hard. "I . . . you are busy with the store, Nathan and Haley have Jamie to look after, there isn't anyone else", he said with a shrug.

"There's Chris", Brooke said with a smirk. Lucas internally rolled his eyes. Of course there was.

"I'm sure he's busy seducing teenage girls", he sneered. Brooke sighed.

"Don't talk about him like that. He's changed a lot", she said softly, "He cares about Peyton."

"So I hear", he mumbled.

"Besides, Nathan and Haley have Carrie to watch Jamie, there are a lot of people that could pick her up", she argued.

"Look, she said we would be friends, I wanna work on that."

"You and Peyton will never be _friends_", Brooke said as she shook her head.

"That's because none of you will let us", he argued back. He knew what she meant, but there was no way he was getting into that now.

Brooke sighed and stared at him, her gaze softening from the previous one. "Lucas, I know that Lindsey leaving was hard for you . . ."

Lucas resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Yes, Lindsey leaving him was hard. He really did love her. But he wasn't going to break into a million pieces because of it. He had his time to sulk. He did all the things that people do when they break up. He threw out any pictures of them, he drank, he slept for hours upon hours, and he drank some more. After doing that for the past few days, he was ready to greet the world again.

And he wanted Peyton Sawyer to be the first one he greeted.

"That has nothing to do with this", he told to the third person of the day.

When he asked Nathan about her flight, his younger brother gave him an 'are you kidding me' look. After letting him know that he wasn't kidding, Nathan went into a speech about breakups and letting him heal. Haley wasn't any better. She felt the need to hug Lucas and tell him everything would be alright, all he wanted to know what time her damn flight got in.

"Are you sure?" she questioned with hard eyes. "Lucas, she is my best friend and she is finally a fraction of the person she used to be, I cannot let you swoop back into her life when it's convenient for you."

Her comment added to the guilt he had already felt for the past few months, but he didn't let it show. "That's not what this is. I want to try to be friends with her, Brooke. Yes, she's a former girlfriend, but so are you."

"Don't even try to compare you and me to you and Peyton", she said with a stunned voice.

Lucas sighed and slumped his shoulders. He couldn't argue with her about that. Brooke and Peyton were two very different ex-girlfriends, mostly because of how he felt about them.

Brooke Davis was an amazing person and she gave him the freeing feeling he had never before felt, but ultimately they were better off as friends.

Peyton Sawyer was . . . she was Peyton Sawyer. It may have taken him some time to really put those pieces together, but now that he had he wasn't going to give up easily.

"Are you really not going to tell me?" he traced back to his original reason for being here.

"No I'm not."

-x-

Lucas was sure he had lost his mind. When it came down to it that was the only reasonable explanation for being here right now. The studio was empty and it would have made anyone think nobody was around. Lucas noticed the soft light on in the office and sighed. This was the moment he was dreading.

Chris sat at the desk mulling over some lyrics for a few songs. Peyton was coming home today and since he had been talking to her all week about recording he figured he should jot some stuff down. He heard heavy footsteps and spoke out loud.

"I'm almost done here Nathan; I know how cranky you get when you don't eat before six", he said with a smirk that was unseen.

Lucas shuffled his feet and stuck his hands in his pockets. "Guess again."

Chris furrowed his brows and resisted the urge to kick him out right then. Why was he here? What made him think Chris even wanted to talk to him?

"Well, well, well . . . to what do I owe the honor?" Chris muttered sarcastically.

Lucas rolled his eyes and had a smart comeback on the tip of his tongue. He opened his mouth, but like many other times today, Peyton flashed in his mind and he closed it quickly. Yelling at Chris wasn't going to be the way to get what he wanted.

"I was wondering if you knew what time Peyton's flight landed", he asked softly.

Chris looked up from the set of papers on the desk and smirked. "Yes, I do know", he said simply before resuming his originally task.

Screw being polite.

"Could you tell me?" he asked heatedly.

Chris looked up again and raised a brow. "I could, but I'm not going to."

"Why the hell not?" at the volume of his voice Chris stood from his seat and walked to the broody blonde.

"You've asked Brooke, Nathan, and Haley to tell you what time her flight landed. None of them told you and now you're coming here because you expect me to tell you?" Chris chuckled. "That's gonna happen."

"Look, just tell me and I can get out of here."

"Or I could not tell you and you could leave anyway."

"Damnit Keller! I'm not in the mood for this", he warned.

"I don't know what you want from her, but if you plan on playing more mind games, I will kick your ass", Chris said with a locked jaw. Lucas snorted in disbelief.

"You don't know what you're talking about", Lucas said with a cautioning voice.

Chris pursed his lips. "Don't I though? You asked her to marry you; she didn't jump into your arms and run off into the sunset so you left her—"'

"It wasn't like that", Lucas cut him off.

"That's exactly what it was! She woke up and you were gone! People always left her and you were added to that list", he said with a disgusted look.

"You're no saint", Lucas decided playing the blame game would be easier then the memories. "You took advantage of her when she was drunk and lonely."

"Now **you** don't know what you're talking about", Chris said as he pointed a finger at Lucas.

"Couldn't handle it when she told you it meant nothing? Feelings got hurt? You left her too, Chris. Stormed right out of her room and left her there."

Before another word could be said Chris's fists curled and he punched Lucas in the jaw. The blonde staggered a bit before narrowing his eyes and charging at Chris. They fell to the floor and continued to roll around. Punches were thrown and clothes were stretched out before Lucas pushed him away and stood to his feet, Chris followed a minute later.

This wasn't about them. It was about the blonde girl they both cared for. She deserved the type of care and love that she gave to everyone around her and at this point Chris didn't know if Lucas could supply that.

"Why can't you leave her alone?" Chris barked as he stretched out his arms.

"I love her! Okay? You've all assumed it for the past few months, does me saying it aloud make it all better?" Lucas yelled out as he wiped at his bloody nose.

"It's not about saying it. Its how you show it and proposing to another woman wasn't the way", he sneered out as he fixed his clothing.

"I know that! It's just that Peyton makes me feel things I've never felt before. I'm my best when I'm with her and I'm my worst when I'm without her. I don't want to go without her anymore", he whispered as he stared at his feet.

"Lucas—"

"I know that doesn't make anything I've done better", he cut him off, "But I want the chance to prove to her that I can be the guy she fell in love with, the guy she used to know."

He shook his head and walked to the door, but stopped in the archway. "I just want to be good enough for her again", he said with a sad sigh.

Chris let out a defeated sigh. Despite everything that had happened between himself and Lucas, Chris knew that he was the one for her. Lucas Scott would always be the one for Peyton Sawyer and nobody could come in the way of that. They would always find a way back. In a lot of ways that gave him hope for a true love of his own.

So, he could agree that Lucas knew the error of his ways. He knew his sins and what he had to do to repent them. He was willing to do anything, even come here and act civil for the first few minutes. That didn't change the big brother protectiveness he felt for Peyton. He didn't want to see her get hurt, but he also didn't want to stand in the way of her one real chance at happiness.

This was going against every fiber in his body right now.

"Her flight lands in an hour. Gate 26. Do not screw this up."

-x-

Lucas stood at the gate eagerly awaiting the arrival of Peyton Sawyer. He promised himself . . . and Chris, that things would be different. He would work on being friends with Peyton and then when he knew the time was right, he would ask for something more.

He checked the arrival board for what felt like the twentieth time. Everything was on schedule. He tapped his foot impatiently. As he went to check the clock on the wall his blue eyes spotted a mass of blonde hair. It wasn't curly, but he would know that color anywhere. He instantly felt the butterflies in his stomach flip.

"Peyton!" he yelled with a smile on his lips.

The straight haired blonde turned at the sound of the voice and let a confused smile spread to her lips.

"What are you doing here?" she asked out as she approached him.

"Everyone had last minute plans, I was the backup driver", he said with a laugh.

Peyton nodded. She knew she said they would work on being friends, but this was a bit odd. She pushed those thoughts out of her mind and stood on the tips of her feet her arms wrapped around his neck.

He was frozen at first because she had initiated the intimate gesture. _Friends. Friends. Friends._ This was a mantra repeated in his mind that helped to soothe the emotions he felt.

"How was LA?" he asked as one arm wrapped around her waist and the other cupped the back of her head; a true Lucas Scott hug that sent shivers down her spine despite the energy she used to stop them.

"It was great", she said into his ear and he could picture the grin on her face. They separated and Peyton took a breath before speaking.

"Okay well –"

"Do you need me to get your bags?" She shook her head.

"Actually —"

"Peyton!"

She turned to face the voice and Lucas's eyes traveled in front of him. He frowned as she walked over to another man.

_And now's the time to close your eyes and see what you've got here _

_Cause sunny days lead you astray. _

_Just know what you've got._

* * *

You guys didn't think I'd just hand them over did you? Peyton's gotta have a jealous Lucas pining for her. The guy won't be a threat though, someone from her past (not who you think) it's her way of knowing she can move on, well she can really try to. Let me know what you think!

**Tuesday's episode;**

There are many things I can say about this week's episode, but I'm sure most of you would agree with them . . . so instead I will keep it short.

Haley is officially off the shit list (excuse my language) and all because of four simple words:

"_**You can't marry Lindsey."**_


	15. Hallelujah

**I own nothing, not even "Hallelujah" by Jeff Buckely.**

This is an absolutely beautiful song; download it if you don't have it. Again, it's a long chapter (over 3,000 words); not a whole lot happens though (in my opinion anyway), I guess it could be called a filler. Thanks so much for all the reviews!

P.S. – the man is someone I'm making up. Sorry for having you all think it was someone from all of **their** past. He's just from Peyton's.

* * *

_But, baby I've been here before _

_I've seen this room and I've walked this floor, you know _

_I used to live alone before I knew ya _

_And I've seen your flag on the marble arch _

_And love is not a victory march _

_It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah_

Brooke Davis eagerly sat on the couch in the boutique. Her best friend was set to walk through those doors any minute and she sure had some questions for her.

How was LA? How was it to see her old friends? Does the Clothes over Bros out there still look amazing? Did anyone take an interest in Mia? 

And most importantly . . . did she meet any guys?

The familiar chime broke her thoughts and her perfectly shaped eyebrows rose in a questioning manner. The pouty blonde man was not someone she expected to see.

"Lucas, what are you doing here?" she asked as politely as she could as she stood to meet him. To be honest she was still mad from the whole demanding attitude he had earlier.

"I picked Peyton up", he said softly. Brooke's eyes widened.

"Who told you about her fli – do you have a black eye?" she drifted off topic as she examined his face.

He avoided her hand and walked a little ahead of her. "She's coming", he muttered and ignored her confused look.

"Lucas", she called after him. He stopped and reluctantly faced her. "What's the problem?"

"She wasn't alone", he said simply. Brooke raised a brow and took a step in his direction.

"Who was she with?" she asked with a soft smirk.

"Michael Beck", Lucas mimicked bitterly and with a scowl. Brooke's eyebrows furrowed and she pursed her lips. That name sounded familiar. Really familiar. Incredibly familiar.

Michael. Michael. Michael. 

The light bulb went off in her head and she opened her mouth in a shocked expression.

"Oh my God", she whispered.

"What?" Lucas asked eagerly at his friend's recognition.

Brooke opened her mouth, but closed it quickly. She was always blabbing news that she shouldn't, this time it would be different. She shook her head and placed a soft smile on her lips.

"Never mind, I thought you said . . ." she trailed off as she desperately tried to think of something that rhymed with Michael. Lucky for her the chiming ended the moment.

"I'll be on the roof", he muttered before turning and leaving the room.

"Where is my best friend?" Peyton asked loudly as Brooke grinned and ran over to her.

"I missed you P. Sawyer", Brooke rasped as she held onto her blonde best friend. Peyton squeezed her back and smiled.

"I missed you too B. Davis."

They broke from the embrace and Brooke eyed the man standing a few feet away from them. He was the opposite of Lucas in nearly every way. He had sandy brown hair and the greenest eyes she had ever seen. He was tanned from the LA sun and wore a confident smile.

"Peyton, I told you not to bring me anything", Brooke teased as she smirked. Peyton rolled her eyes and the man let out a hearty laugh.

"I'm Michael Beck, I own a record label back in LA", he said as he held a hand out.

Brooke smiled. "Brooke Davis, I own the store you're standing in", she said with a grin. Michael nodded and smiled back.

"You're right, she's feisty", he directed to Peyton.

"Talking about me?" the brunette asked with a smirk. "It's a shame Peyton hasn't told me anything about you", she lied.

The blonde in the room blushed and quickly ended their conversation. "Well, there will be plenty of time for that later."

"Oh, I think I left my phone in the car", Michael said as he patted his pockets. "I'll be right back, babe", he said and leaned over to kiss the top of her head. He smiled at Brooke and walked away.

As soon as the door closed Brooke folded her arms over her chest and stared expectantly. "Babe?" she helped move the process along.

Peyton bit her lip and faced her. "Friendly manner", she tried to lie.

"Peyton, that's rebound boy?" Brooke rasped with a smile. 

"I know you love nicknames, but don't call him that", Peyton reprimanded with a smirk.

"Fine", Brooke said exasperatedly. "How did all of this happen?" 

Peyton shrugged. "I was walking in and out of the old clubs and we really just bumped into each other", she said simply.

"Hmm, that's pretty coincidental", she smirked. Peyton rolled her eyes.

"It purely is coincidental", she said firmly.

Brooke nodded in disbelief and a silence past between them that let Peyton think about the best way to approach the next topic. Lucas had been excited when he first greeted her, but after the sighting of Michael his whole attitude changed.

"Brooke . . . what's going on with Lucas?" she asked carefully.

Brooke bit her lip and scrunched her face. The whole week they had all debated on telling Peyton about Lucas and Lindsey. On one side, she was still his friend and did have a right to know. On the other hand, she was in love with him and now he was single; they didn't want that to have any effect on her time in LA. But Peyton was back now and with a boy.

"Lindsey left him."

With those three words Peyton's heart stopped. Lindsey Strauss had left Lucas Scott. There wasn't going to be a wedding. She needed to call Jimmy Eat World and let them know. She could throw out her stupid meaningless passage that she was going to read. 

All because he wasn't going to get married.

"Brooke, why didn't you tell me?" she asked after she regained her composure.

"Because, I knew you'd make that face", the brunette said as she pointed to her blonde best friend.

"What face?" she responded indignantly as she placed her hands on her hips.

"That face!" she said loudly into the still empty store, "the poor Lucas Scott face. Do not feel bad for him", she ordered with a glare.

"Brooke", Peyton sighed out. "His fiancée left him; of course I'm going to feel bad."

"Oh please", Brooke said with a roll of her eyes. Peyton bit her lip and looked out the window at the returning record label owner.

"Keep him entertained for a bit?" Peyton asked, but didn't wait for an answer. Before Brooke could stop her the blonde was walking to the back and opening the stairs that led to the roof.

-x-

Lucas sat on the picnic table with this elbows on his knees and his chin in his palms. Considering he wanted a clean slate he wasn't doing his best to wipe it down.

Peyton was downstairs probably being greeted by everyone that had missed her this past week; Jamie begin at the top of the list, right behind Lucas himself. She was probably talking about all the adventures she had encountered and all the people she saw again that didn't think she would ever make it this far. He wished he could see the confident smile she wore as she told those stories.

Instead he was up here, wallowing. 

The door opened and he heard the sounds of a female's boots clapping against the rooftop. He didn't have to turn around to know who it was. She sat beside him and he could instantly smell the lavender and vanilla.

"What are you doing all the way up here?" she asked with a southern twang that came and went.

He smiled softly and kept his gaze ahead of him. "Thinking", he responded honestly.

Peyton bit her lip. She honestly did feel bad. Lucas thought he was going to spend the rest of his life with Lindsey. And then she left him.

She knew exactly how that felt.

The silence enveloped them and Lucas stole a glace at her. He had seen her in the airport, but he hadn't said anything to her yet. "Your hair's straight", he whispered the obvious with a smile. Peyton turned her head in the opposite direction to hide the blush she felt rising to her cheeks. "Can you ever take a compliment?" he teased, knowing full well how red her cheeks were.

Peyton laughed and finally faced him. "I'm trying", she argued. Truth was the only time she felt herself blush like this was around Lucas. Her eyes traveled over his face and she gasped.

"Lucas, what happened?" she asked and without thinking reached a hand out to him.

The second her hand made contact with his skin he felt goosebumps rise along every piece of skin. Her hands were cold. He shouldn't have been surprised though, she always had cold hands. It didn't matter if it was the dead of winter or the hottest day of summer; her hands were always cool. 

He leaned into her touch. He didn't care that her hands were never warm, mostly because it meant he had to keep them warm. Thinking about that made him think about holding her hands; fingers laced together as they strolled down the streets. He used to be able to close his eyes and feel her hands in his if he concentrated enough.

He clamped his eyes tighter and realized that it had been far too long since he had held her hand.

"Chris and I had a disagreement", he decided at this point the truth was the best thing. He opened his eyes and was met with disappointed green ones. 

"I know it shouldn't have happened and I apologize. I think our fight was a long time coming though", he joked and was more then surprised when she laughed too.

"I guess you're right."

"So", Lucas drew out. "Who's the boy?" he asked as calmly as he could; he nudged her shoulder for an added friendly effect.

She tensed slightly and seriously thought about lying to him. It wasn't the best option, but she honestly didn't want to deal with any type of anger or bitterness. Maybe she wouldn't lie, just leave some parts out.

"He was interning the same time I was all those years ago", she said with a laugh as she thought about how long ago that truly felt. "I was talking to some club owners about Mia and he walked into one of them, we bumped into each other and started talking. He said he had seen Mia's Myspace video and wanted to see her in person", she finished her story with a shrug of her shoulders.

Yes, it was definitely better to leave out the fact that she had slept with him three weeks after they broke up. 

"Are you guys dating?" he asked casually. He wanted to pat himself on the back at how calm he was being.

Peyton froze and before she could think, nodded her head. "It's nothing serious, but we're gonna see where it goes", she admitted softly.

Lucas stayed quite and Peyton began to panic. The last thing he needed was to hear about a new relationship.

"Brooke just told me about you and Lindsey", she said softly. "I'm so sorry."

Lucas closed his eyes and nodded his head. "You guys seemed fine. When I was leaving Brooke was going to have a fitting . . . what happened?" she asked in complete shock.

This time it was Lucas who considered lying. He shook his head. He wasn't going to lie to her. He turned his head in her direction and stopped. Maybe he could omit certain parts.

"We just realized that it wouldn't be right."

Telling her that it wouldn't be right because she had found his Peyton Drawer and realized that he never even meant to propose definitely needed to be left out.

They heard the squeals on the street below and both knew that their friends were here.

"We should head back down", Lucas said quietly.

Peyton nodded her head and stood from the table. She couldn't shake the feeling that there was something he wasn't telling her.

-x-

"Hurry up", Jamie begged as he jumped up and down. Nathan grinned at his son's excitement and scooped him up into his arms.

"She'll be there when we get there", Nathan said, although his pace had noticeably increased once they were a block closer.

"Hurry up!" Chris called out from his place ahead of them. He had Carrie's hand in his and a bouquet of flowers in the other. Nathan rolled his eyes.

"Did he have to get her flowers?" he grumbled just loud enough for his wife to hear.

Haley chuckled and reached for his free hand. "Don't be mad because he thought of getting them first", she teased. Nathan narrowed his eyes playfully.

"Whose side are you on?"

They stepped onto the corner of Clothes over Bros and Haley spoke. "Always yours babe", she whispered. Nathan smirked before leaning his head down to meet her lips. 

James immediately wiggled to be put down. "You guys are taking too long", he whined. Nathan and Haley broke from the kiss with a laugh.

"How about I race ya?" Nathan challenged. James nodded his head. He placed the small boy on his feet and began a countdown. Both parents watched as he ran as fast as he could.

"I'll meet you in there", Nathan said to Haley as he jogged down after his son. Chris watched the Scott's speed past him and frowned.

"No fair!" he yelled as he ran after them.

All three of them raced down the block. Carrie held back and waited for Haley.

"Are they always like this?" she asked with a laugh. Haley smiled before nodding.

"When it comes to Peyton, absolutely."

Chris ran to the door and pulled it open; barging in victoriously.

"You're supposed to let the kid win!" Jamie argued as he ran in behind Chris.

"Yeah right, shrimp", Chris said playfully.

"Nice Keller", Nathan muttered as he rolled his eyes.

Haley and Carrie walked in behind them and before another word could be said the fourth male in the room let out a laugh at something that Brooke said. All three men narrowed their eyes.

Carrie laughed softly. "Should I be worried?" she joked about how protective Chris was of Peyton. Haley laughed with her and stared at her husband and son; both wore the same expression as Chris. She shook her head at all of their antics.

Before it could be questioned the blonde of the hour stepped into the room.

"All this for me?" she asked with a smirk as she walked over to them.

"Peyton!" they all yelled at once. 

Chris pulled her into a hug first. He whispered that he missed her and she did the same. He pulled her back to arms length and handed her the flowers.

"Daisy's", she said with a smile. "Thanks Chris", she said sincerely. She looked at Nathan and smirked at his scowl.

She threw her arms around his neck and he picked her off the ground. She let out a squeal and he whispered that he had missed his best friend these past five days. He placed her back on her feet, but her arms never left his neck.

"I don't need flowers. You being here is more than enough", she whispered before kissing his cheek and pulling back to stare at his grin. 

She finally moved on to the last boy in line.

"My Jamie", Peyton gushed as she hoisted the small boy onto her hip.

"My Peyton", he replied and threw his short arms around her neck. She hugged him close and he squeezed her back.

The rest of the room watched on with smiles on their faces. Those two had a bond that they couldn't understand, but loved none the less.

"You gotta tell me all about Lost Angels", he said with a serious face. The adults laughed and he squinted his eyes. "What's so funny?"

-x-

"It's great that Peyton had such a huge reception in LA", Nathan said proudly as he watched his brother shoot a free throw.

They had all left the boutique around an hour ago. Carrie and Chris took James to the park and Peyton wanted to show Michael around Tree Hill. Brooke and Haley stayed in the store to gossip about the brunette Peyton brought home.

Lucas rolled his eyes as the ball sailed through the hoop. _Yeah, it's great_, he thought sarcastically.

"And it's even better that she brought that reception home with her."

Nathan frowned at the bitterness in his brother's voice and thought of how unfair it was. Lucas was engaged to another woman and paraded her around Peyton for weeks. Now that he was single, the thought of Peyton having a boyfriend was unrealistic for him.

"Luke, what do you know about that guy?" he asked gently.

The blonde raised an eyebrow. "That he has a record label and he and Peyton interned together and that apparently they're dating, which seems pretty random", he added as he thought about it.

Nathan bowed his head. "What aren't you telling me?" Lucas asked as he narrowed his eyes.

"They have a history."

"Nate, just tell me", he wasn't in the mood for his brother's vagueness.

"A few weeks after you broke up . . . they kinda slept together", he said softly and waited for a response.

Lucas's eyes widened and his jaw clenched in anger.

"It's nice to know that she was so torn up about us breaking up", he muttered sarcastically.

"Lucas, you entered a long term relationship with your editor. She had one night of meaningless sex—"

"She seems to do that a lot", he snarled out. Nathan dropped the ball and took a step in the direction of the older Scott.

"I know you're my brother, but she is my best friend . . . do not talk about her like that", he warned.

Lucas bowed his head in shame. "I didn't mean that", he said sincerely. "This just . . . it sucks you know?" he asked rhetorically.

Nathan softened his glare. "I know man, but you guys are Lucas and Peyton. You always find a way back", he said with a smile.

Lucas smiled sadly at the younger man's confidence. He swallowed hard and shook his head. He could remember the way she smiled around Michael and how comfortable she seemed with him. There was an aura around her that made her seem alive, more alive then he had seen her in a long time. When he spoke again his voice was hoarse and his eyes burned.

"I think it's too late for that."

_Maybe there's a God above _

_But all I've ever learned from love _

_Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew ya _

_And it's not a cry that you hear at night _

_It's not somebody who's seen the light _

_It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah 

* * *

_

I know in the beginning of this story I said it was going to be short, but considering this is Chapter 15 and there are at least 5 more to go; I lied, but it's a good lie right? Like I said not a whole lot, but I do love the little LP moment. Let me know what you think!


	16. Pretend

**I own nothing, not even "Pretend" by Secondhand Serenade.**

One Tree Hill day and it's the hundredth episode; not to mention the wedding. Let's see if Haley follows through with her lines last week. Thanks so much for all the reviews!

* * *

_It seems all of these words couldn't be further from the truth _

_How did I get here? What did I do?_

"Cannonball!" the four year old yelled as he ran and jumped into the pool with his knees curled to his chest as best they could.

The splash that followed was hardly one for the record books, but for an added effect Peyton dunked under the water and was back up in time for James to pop his head up too.

"Jamie that was huge!" she exaggerated. He laughed a child's laugh and Peyton felt her heart melt. Considering she had only officially met James Lucas Scott a few months ago, she couldn't believe the bond they had formed.

"I soaked you", he said in glee. "Now it's your turn", his small arms moved under the water; held up by his swimmies.

"Nice try, hot shot", she said playfully. "No being in the pool unsupervised", she spoke like she was reading it off of a list.

"Awe, come on. I bet you could make an even bigger splash."

Peyton knew he meant it without any type of malice or hidden meaning, but that didn't stop the frown that came to her lips. James noticed the movement and thought about the time his father had said something similar to his mother; it resulted in what both parents called a time-out.

"I didn't mean it like that", he said quickly.

Peyton smiled. "I'll show you bigger splash", she muttered as she reached forward and grabbed him by the waist. He squealed as she picked him up and threw him to the lower, safer end of the pool.

"Oh man", he said with a laugh as he popped up. Peyton was at his side when he popped up and he clung onto her neck.

"Was that fun?" she asked with a grin. He nodded and spoke.

"Where is everyone?"

Usually there was a lot more activity around the Scott household. Carrie was around and sometimes Chris would stop by. Either one of his parents were always home. And then there was Brooke and Lucas and Peyton that would come by whenever they could. The fact that it was only Peyton here today was a different scenario for the four year old.

"Chris took Carrie out for the day and Mommy and Daddy are out too", she said simply.

"How come you're here?"

_Because Michael had to go back to LA_, she thought bitterly, but quickly scoffed at her own answer.

The truth is that she felt she needed to spend a day with the young Scott. He helped her to feel whole and less alone. She was a completely different person when she was with him. She stared down into the big brown eyes and her smile widened. "There's no place else I'd rather be", she said honestly.

He blushed at her answer and shyly spoke. "You're like my best friend, Peyton."

Her heart melted at his words and for a moment she felt her eyes sting. She had only ever had this type of connection with Jenny and Peyton hadn't seen her in years.

"You're my best friend too", she said as she brushed his nose against hers sweetly.

"Just don't tell your daddy", she said with a wink. "Or Brooke, or Chris", she added. Jamie laughed. He grabbed onto Peyton's hands and allowed himself to float in the water while kicking his legs slowly.

"Is that Michael guy your boyfriend?" he asked with a glare.

Michael had been a bit of a sore point since Peyton introduced him to everyone. They could all agree that he was a kind man that cared for Peyton, but in the end they were all still holding out for the epic romance of Lucas and Peyton to come full circle and have them be together again. It appeared James was in that category as well.

Even though she wouldn't be the first person to admit it, she would admit that this whole Michael thing was her jumping in feet first. Completely opposite of Peyton Sawyer. Maybe that's what she needed. To let go of her inhibitions and let down her guards. Deep down she knew why she was acting this way.

Michael couldn't break her heart; he'd never get close enough.

Peyton smiled at his protectiveness. He was like a Nathan replica. "You're the only guy in my life, James Lucas Scott."

"What about Uncle Luke?" he asked innocently. Peyton raised a brow.

"What about him?"

The small boy shrugged. "He used to be your boyfriend", the four year old said innocently.

Peyton nodded unsure about where this was going. "Yes, your Uncle Luke and I used to date, but that was a long time ago, buddy. You were only a little baby", she said while tapping his nose playfully.

"How come you guys broke up?"

Peyton sighed. Since when was James so interested in the past? Especially her past. "We just weren't meant to be", she said softly as her voice broke off. James frowned, but continued on. 

"But, in his book Uncle Luke said you were his forever. That you guys were destined", he said with a pouted lip.

Peyton ruffled his hair. "Sometimes life has different plans for you. In the end it was for the best", she said as confidently as she could.

"Auntie Brooke says that people who are meant to be together always find their way in the end."

Peyton cleared her throat. "I'm starting to prune. Let's get you dried off."

She scooped the small boy into her arms and tried to leave the entire conversation in the pool behind her.

-x-

"So, how's everything going?" Nathan asked as he and Lucas walked down the street. The blonde shrugged.

"I guess it's going good."

"Have you talked to Peyton?" Nathan asked because he already knew the answer.

Lucas cringed. He hadn't spoken to Peyton since she got back from LA. That was four days ago. He hadn't meant to avoid her, but it was too hard to see her with another man and have to plaster a fake smile every time he saw them. Peyton, he assumed would chalk it up to him being upset over Lindsey.

"Actually I haven't", he said honestly. Nathan made a face and Lucas sighed. "I've got a lot going on. The teams got games coming up and I have to get my book out to an editor. Plus, Peyton's been busy with _Michael_."

"Come on man", Nathan groaned. "Don't play the blame game. You could easily see her if you really wanted to."

"I know I could. I just haven't really wanted to", he shrugged his shoulders. "It's hard being around her. She's happy and I don't wanna put a damper on that" he said sincerely.

"I know you think that avoiding her is the best thing, but trust me when I say you're only hurting her more. You should call her, go have coffee or something. Michael went back to LA last night anyway."

Lucas thought about his words and nodded his head. "I know you're right, but it's still too weird. Maybe, eventually though."

Nathan clapped his brother on the back and opened the door to Brooke's boutique. 

They walked into the store and expected some type of conversation to already be taking place, but they certainly didn't expect this. The chime that signaled their entrance did nothing to deter the current argument.

"Give me a break Haley!" the taller brunette yelled.

"No, how is it fair that Lucas is alone, but Peyton can parade her boyfriend around town?" she asked as she placed her hands on her hips.

"It's his own fault", she said incredulously. "He paraded Lindsey around like some freaking show dog for months! He proposed to her for God's sake!"

Nathan snapped his head to meet his brother's eyes and could instantly tell the discomfort he felt. They were fighting about him. Almost everything revolved around him and his actions lately.

"He loved her!" Haley defended her best friend.

"Peyton should be allowed to love someone else too!" Brooke defended hers.

"It's not Lucas's fault Peyton hasn't moved on."

"Yes it is! He kissed her that night at TRIC; he's always sending mixed signals and doing the opposite of what he says. He plays mind games even if he doesn't realize it."

"Well, she should be a little more considerate. We all know how he feels."

"Peyton was in love with Lucas the whole time he was with Lindsey and Lucas didn't care."

"Brooke, Peyton had her chance. She said no, what was Lucas supposed to do?"

"She never said no!" Brooke yelled the sentence Peyton had told nearly every person in that very room.

"I'm gonna go", Lucas said quietly and before Nathan could try to protest he was walking out the door he had just entered.

"Peyton's the one who pushes everyone away. Every time she and Lucas had a chance she ran. Even now, he's single and she's dating someone else", Haley said.

Brooke shook her head. "That's because Lucas breaks every girl he has ever been involved with. Peyton's been through it so many times, can you blame her for not wanting to do it again? She has had so many other horrible things happen to her, she doesn't need another heartache, especially not from him."

"Are you speaking for Peyton or yourself?" Haley dared to ask and Nathan's eyes widened.

"Excuse me?"

"Lucas broke your heart, Brooke. Are you venting all of this frustration to Peyton because of it?"

Brooke stared at Haley in shock. Was she seriously asking that question right now? Yes, Lucas broke her heart, but that was in high school. He wasn't the love of her life that walked out on her because she didn't provide an answer he wanted. She clenched her fists and locked her jaw.

"Get out of my store."

The tone of her voice sent a chill up Nathan's spine. He had never heard Brooke Davis be so forceful with such a calm stance. Haley stood there for a moment in shock. Brooke raised a daring eyebrow and Haley snapped out of it. She nodded her head.

"Fine", she said before she turned away from her longtime friend. "Nathan, let's go", she said as she brushed past him.

He stood awkwardly and darted his eyes to Brooke. Her arms were folded and she was silently daring him to follow after his wife. He sighed and turned to Brooke.

"She's my wife", he whispered. Brooke nodded and held her arms out to the door where a waiting Haley stood.

"It's not a big deal, Nate. People always leave; she knows that", she whispered before walking into the back.

-x-

Lucas walked into his brother and best friend's house and furrowed his brows. It was pretty quiet and this house was never quiet. He walked through the hall and stepped into the living room; any fears he may have had disappeared. 

James was sitting on the coffee table in a pair of sweat pants and a sweat shirt. His hands were on his knees and his eyes were focused on the sleeping blonde on the couch. She had a walkie talking clutched in one hand and the other was tucked beneath her cheek.

"What are you doing?" he asked as he sat beside his nephew.

"Watching Peyton", he said simply without taking his eyes off of her.

Lucas followed his gaze and sighed. She always looked so peaceful when she slept. Like nothing in the world was bothering her and like nothing ever would.

"Why exactly are you watching her?"

"She's smiling."

Lucas raised a concerned brow. "Doesn't Peyton always smile?"

The little boy nodded. "Yeah, but not like that", he said as he nodded in her direction.

Lucas had to admit that his nephew was inquisitive. Peyton never did smile like that. It was always genuine for Jamie, but other than that it hardly ever reached her eyes. Peyton used to smile so brightly that you could see the smallest dimples form on her face. 

Now, well, Lucas hadn't seen those dimples in over three years.

She began to move and Lucas turned to James. "Why don't you go check on Chester, I'll be upstairs in a minute."

The little boy glanced back at Peyton before nodding his head and hopping off the table. Lucas watched him leave before standing and grabbing the throw blanket that was across the top half of the couch. He unfolded it and gently placed it over Peyton.

Her eyes shot open. "I'm up, I'm up", she mumbled. Lucas grinned.

"Relax, it's not Nathan", he teased.

Peyton froze at the voice and held her breath. They hadn't seen each other in days and all of a sudden he decided to show up here? Lucas Scott certainly was one for surprises. She shook her head; she wasn't being fair. He had just ended things with his fiancée; it was typical of Lucas to hide out during a time of pain. She swallowed before speaking.

"Luke, hey", she said awkwardly.

"Way to sleep on the job", he teased some more.

"Jamie was sleeping too. I have the walkie talkie", she defended with a smile. Lucas chuckled and nodded his head.

"He's up now, I walked in and he was here."

"Oh okay. I wonder why he didn't wake me up", she said softly.

"It's a Scott thing to watch people when they sleep", he said without thinking. 

Peyton's eyes cast downward and Lucas thought back to Brooke and Haley's earlier argument. He really was sending mixed signals this whole time; he knew for sure this wasn't the first occasion he had said something like this. He wasn't being fair to her. He wasn't being the friend he promised he always would be. His eyes glanced to the front door and back at Peyton.

"I just remembered I have to meet with Skills, I'm gonna get going", he said softly. Peyton's eyes met his and she nodded slowly.

"Alright, maybe I'll see you around?" she asked hopefully.

He stared down into her green eyes and felt his heart ache. He loved this woman with all his heart and she couldn't be his. Who knew if she would ever be his? There wasn't a definite answer to that yet, but he wanted to make sure to keep her in his life. He felt his mind working and his lips moving before he could even stop them.

"Would you like to go get dinner tomorrow?"

_Put down your world _

_Just for one night _

_Pick me again 

* * *

_

Let me know what you think!


	17. Gravity

**I still don't own One Tree Hill, nor do I own "Gravity" by Sarah Bareilles.**

Thanks so much for all the reviews!

* * *

_Something always brings me back to you. _

_It never takes too long._

_No matter what I say or do I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone._

_**Her back made contact with the wall behind her and she whimpered, but not entirely from the pain. His lips assaulted her neck; finding her weakest spot and sucking on it intensely. She moaned in pleasure and could feel him smile against her skin. His lips worked down her neck and across her collar bone. **_

_**She arched her back and could feel his arousal. Teasingly she rocked against him and giggled as he let out a growl. She pulled at his hair and brought his lips back to hers. Her tongue probed his mouth while her hands pulled his blue shirt from his slacks and glided beneath the material. He sucked in a breath of anticipation as she tore at his belt buckle and unsnapped the button; gliding the zipper down with ease. He buried his hand into her curls and forced her lips onto his.**_

_**Her silk dress was hiked up around her waist and the only thing in their way was a pair of boxers and her lacy thong. With their mouths still connected her fingers hooked in the rim of his boxers and she pushed them down with grace; brushing against him in the process. He groaned and a minute later her panties were ripped from her body. She gasped into his mouth and wrapped her long legs around his waist.**_

_**This wasn't the slow and sweet type of love making.**_

_**This was unbridled passion and desire. **_

_**This was love in its most raw and purest form.**_

**"_I've wanted this for so long", she said breathlessly as they pulled apart at the need for air._**

_**He stopped all this ministrations and brought his hands to cup her face. In contrast to his earlier actions he kissed the tip of her nose affectionately.**_

**"_And now we can have it."_**

_**For the first time their eyes connected and blue met green.**_

Peyton's eyes snapped open and she instantly took in her surroundings. She was in bed, alone. She threw her head back onto her pillow and took a deep breath. That was seemed so real. She could feel his lips against her, his smile on her skin, his hand caught in her curls. She could feel his eyes boring into her very soul.

Did she seriously just have a sex dream about Lucas?

She felt her eyelids closing once more and jumped from the bed. The last thing she needed to have another one of those dreams. She walked out into the kitchen and greeted Brooke.

"Good morning", the blonde said with a smile.

"What's got the pep in your step?" Brooke asked with a smirk. Peyton froze and shrugged her shoulders.

"Nothing really."

"Ookay", Brooke drew out. "What happened to you last night? I waited up for a bit, but than it got pretty late."

"Oh, I'm sorry. After Nathan and Haley got in I swung by the office; last minute details about Mia's album."

"Speaking of Haley", Brooke started, "We're not friends with her", she said simply. Peyton raised a brow and folded her arms over her chest.

"And why aren't _we_ friends with her?" 

"Because she's narrow minded."

"Brooke", Peyton sighed out.

"No P. Sawyer, you don't know what she said yesterday, it was completely out of line."

"What were you guys talking about?" Peyton asked in interest.

"You and Lucas", Brooke said with a contorted face. Peyton sighed.

"Brooke, come on."

"You should have heard her, Peyton. She was all for Lucas", she said in anger.

"She's his best friend, Brooke. I'm sure you were defending me", she said with an amused smile.

"Of course I was, but I have a reason to. He hurt you, P", Brooke said gently.

"Brooke, I love you, and I love that you went to bat for me, but don't get swept up in all this crap", she pleaded.

Brooke huffed. "Fine, but you should yell at Nathan, he chose sides and it was the wrong one", Peyton laughed and nodded her head. "Oh, a new episode of Grey's Anatomy is on later, could you tape it for me?" she asked casually.

It wasn't wrong of her to assume that Peyton would be home, but not tonight. "Actually I have plans later", Peyton said. Brooke's ears perked.

"With whom?" Peyton scoffed.

"Is it so impossible for me to have plans?" Peyton said defensively.

Brooke shook her head. "No it's not that. I just meant . . . well, Owen and I have plans, and I know that Nathan and Haley are going out because Chris and Carrie are staying in to watch Jamie. Michael's obviously not here. That doesn't exactly leave anyone else", she pointed out.

Peyton sighed. Of course Brooke wouldn't think about Lucas because apparently they hated Lucas this week. She loved Brooke, she really did; the girl had been there for her through her most difficult times in life, but sometimes it was too much. Peyton was at the point where she wanted to spend time with Lucas again; on a friend's only basis.

"Umm, well", she tucked a curl behind her ear and Brooke pursed her lips.

"Who are you going out with later?" she asked accusingly. There was clearly only one person left in Tree Hill.

Peyton opened her mouth, but thankfully the ringing of her cell phone cut her off.

"I need to get that", she said quickly before darting from the room. She picked up her cell phone and smiled.

"Hey you."

"_Hey, I just got off the phone with Tommy and he wants Mia on TRL the day her album drops", Michael said._

Peyton gasped. "That's great! She's gonna freak out", they both laughed. "I miss you", she whispered.

"_I miss you too", he said with a smile. "So, what's on the agenda for tonight?" he asked casually._

Peyton bit her lip. "I'm actually going to dinner", she said quickly. 

"_Really, with whom?"_

"Lucas", she said softly and shut her eyes in expectation of the yelling to come. Instead he sighed. "But, we're just going as friends. We haven't hung out in a while and we used to be really good friends so . . ."

"_Peyton, this guy wrote a whole book about you. That's like having a rock star write a song for you", Peyton rolled her eyes and as if seeing it in person he spoke again. "Alright so it's not the same thing, but in author world it's a pretty big deal."_

"Michael, it doesn't mean anything", she said with a shaky voice.

"_Peyton, I'm sorry, but we can't keep doing this. I can't be the guy that gets in the way of the Lucas and Peyton in the book anymore", he said softly._

"Michael", she begged.

"_This doesn't change anything; I still wanna help you put out Mia's album and I hope we can be friends. I just can't be with you. Have a good Valentine's Day", he whispered._

She pulled the phone back to her ear and stared at it incredulously.

She had just gotten dumped on Valentine's Day.

She walked back out into the kitchen with the phone still clutched in her hands. Brooke was sitting at the counter expectantly.

"So, who are you going out with?" she asked with a kinked brow. Peyton's heart stopped.

She was having dinner with Lucas Scott on Valentine's Day.

-x-

Lucas walked along the street and tried to focus on anything but the house he was approaching. He was dressed in a blue dress shirt and black slacks. He had a lighter blue tie around his neck, but the damn thing was far from tied correctly. He had never been good at them; Karen always had them ready for him and after that Peyton had the job.

He felt the buzzing in his pocket and transferred the bouquet of flowers to his other hand. He hadn't wanted this to feel like a date, but he felt that showing up empty handed was rude. The guy at the florist was trying to push the roses, but he felt they were too date-worthy. He peeked at the carnations and smiled. The light shade of pink was perfect and they were one of her favorite flowers.

"Hey Hales", he said less than enthusiastically.

"_You're taking her to dinner?" she asked accusingly._

Lucas sighed. He'd have to thank his brother later. "It's not that big of a deal. Nathan's the one who said I should do something about this."

"_He told you to take her for coffee, not to dinner."_

Leave it Nathan to cover his own ass. "Look, I know that you and Brooke are fighting and I know that Brooke doesn't really like me right now, but she's not my concern", he said honestly.

"_Luke, I just don't want you to get hurt", Haley said in worry._

Lucas smiled. "I love you for that, but right now this is dinner between two friends."

"_Oh okay", she said in mock understanding._

"Hales . . ."

"_I just think that you should focus on moving on. Peyton did", she pointed out._

"I had moved on long before her", he pointed out. "Look, remember when you and Nathan first started dating and I didn't exactly like him, but I dealt with it because he was your one. I know that Peyton is mine and she just needs to realize it too."

"_Lucas, Nathan and I were different from you and Peyton", Haley said. _

"If tonight goes horrible I'll come over and you can rub it in my face", he joked.

"_Chris and Carrie are going to be here all night", she said._

"Why are Chris and Carrie both watching Jamie?" he asked in confusion.

"_Lucas, its Valentine's Day."_

Before Lucas could process what she had said the front door opened. He shut the cell phone and placed it back into his pocket to stare at the sight in front of him. Peyton was in a strapless, silk, turquoise dress. It was a color he hadn't ever seen on her, but he decided that she should definitely wear it more often.

"Hey", she greeted softly.

He cleared his throat. "Hi", they took a moment to stare at each other. Lucas saw her gaze that the flowers in his hand and he snapped back to reality. "These are for you", he said as he handed them over.

Peyton smiled politely and took them from him. "Come in."

He followed her into the house hesitantly. "Brooke's getting ready", she teased. "Big date with Owen later", she said with a smile.

At the mention of the word 'date' Lucas looked away. He honestly hadn't realized that it was such a romantic holiday. When he asked Peyton to dinner it was completely on impulse. Now, he was almost regretting that decision. He pulled at his tie and took a deep breath. He grumbled because he was sure it looked even worse now. 

Peyton turned from the sink and face him. He was currently in a wrestling match with the light blue tie around his neck. She was glad he was trying to fix it, but it still wasn't any better. In the blink of an eye she was in front of him and had her hands on the piece of material.

It wasn't an excuse to touch him, and it wasn't because he looked sloppy.

It was second nature.

"There", she whispered and patted his chest before quickly withdrawing her hands.

"Thanks", he whispered back. There was a smile on his face that he was sure would never fade. "You ready to go?" he asked as he pointed to the front door.

Peyton nodded and lead him out. Tonight was going to be good. As long as she could stop thinking about Michael, and Lucas, and the fact that it all revolved around Valentine's Day.

-x-

The night hadn't been exactly what he'd hoped for. They hadn't had a decent conversation. The response from her was short and minimal in substance. He wasn't sure what was wrong, but her mind was obviously somewhere else. Regardless, he tried to make the best of things.

She knew she wasn't being the best dinner companion right now. Her thoughts were frazzled and she was hardly listening to him. She had just broken up with her boyfriend and here she was having dinner with an ex on a day you're supposed to celebrate with the person you love. She assumed that was fitting then. This was Lucas and Peyton; when did they ever conform to the standards? Even now, it was Valentine's Day and they were both in blue.

She was angry. Michael had assumed that there was something between these two blondes. He was judging situations based on that stupid book and he was wrong. He had basically sent her to Lucas, but he didn't want her either. She was alone again. He chuckled from his seat across form her and she was pretty sure he had just told a joke, but she couldn't find it in her to pretend to laugh; his jokes were never funny.

Lucas furrowed his brows. He knew his jokes weren't funny, but Peyton always made a point to laugh at them. "Are you okay?" 

At the sound of his voice Peyton was brought back to reality.

"I'm fine", she said with a strained voice. 

"Peyt, you look like you're about to burst into tears", he said softly, but franticly.

He was so caring and concerned. She felt her eyes burning. 

He was an amazing man. The tears built up. 

He wasn't in love with her. A sob escaped her throat.

"Let's get outta here", he said softly as he placed his napkin on the table. He motioned for the waiter.

Peyton shook her head and bit her lip. "No, we can stay, I'm sorry. I just need a minute . . . I'll be fine", she assured him.

He smiled at her stubbornness, "Peyton, you obviously don't wanna be here. We can leave", he tried to hide it, but she could hear the disappointment in his voice.

"No really, I just need a minute", she said as she placed both hands flat on the table. She took a deep, calming breath. She felt the tears stopping and took in one last shuddered inhalation.

"Okay, I'm good. See", she plastered a smile on her lips. Lucas's arm stretched across the linen table cloth and his hand covered hers.

"Peyton, let's get out of here."

The feeling of his hand on hers sent chills up her spine. To be honest when he first did it she wanted to pull away just to avoid that feeling. She looked back into his concerned blue eyes and felt the tears building up once again.

"Okay", she whispered.

He squeezed her hand lightly and before she could think about her next breath his fingers were knotted through hers and they were leaving the table.

_You loved me 'cause I'm fragile. _

_When I thought that I was strong._

_But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone._

* * *

Michael's gone because he was never going to be essential anyway, but he also pushed the blonde's in the right direction. Let me know what you think!

**Tuesday's episode;**

"**It's an epic love story, Luke. It's just not ours."**

**I can honestly say I've never loved Lindsey more than at that moment.**


	18. I Taught Myself How to Grow Old

**I own nothing, not even "I Taught Myself How to Grow Old" by Ryan Adams.**

**This is a beautiful song. 400 reviews! I love you all, words seriously cannot describe it. Keep them coming!**

* * *

_Poor little rose, beaten by the rain _

_In the wind in the gale, thunder and the hail _

_Sometimes I feel like I'm going insane _

_Without the numbness or the pain so intense to feel _

_Especially now it added up through the years_

Lucas and Peyton walked along the boardwalk in silence. She was grateful that they left the restaurant. It was suffocating her and she couldn't have taken much longer. So here they were, strolling along the docks, glancing at the couples sitting outside on their Valentine's Day dates.

"So, you wanna tell me what happened back there?" Lucas asked calmly.

He had wanted to know since they stepped foot onto the curb outside of the restaurant, but he held off. She was still pretty upset and he didn't want increase that. The last thing he wanted was to send her into hysterics.

"It's stupid", she said with a shrug. As she lifted her shoulder with the gesture the weight on her arm made her furrow her brows. She glanced down and tensed slightly.

She was still holding Lucas's hand.

He was either oblivious to her sudden anxiousness or he simply chose to ignore it. "Come on, you know I don't believe that."

She took a deep breath. "It's Michael", and just like that the warmth that had surrounded her right hand disappeared.

Her breakdown wasn't entirely because of Michael, but she certainly wasn't going to tell Lucas that. It was better that he didn't know she had broken down over the realization that she was still in love with him and he was nursing his broken heart.

"He broke up with me earlier and I guess it just kind of snowballed", she summarized the best she could.

She continued to explain and Lucas remained silent. He felt anger rush through his veins and clenched his jaw. Michael broke up with her on Valentine's Day. He had caused her to have an emotional breakdown. He was thinking of ways to make that man suffer when it dawned on him . . . Peyton was officially single.

"I'm sorry", she said suddenly. "Here I am moping over a week long relationship when you're still trying to heal from your breakup with Lindsey."

"It's okay", he snapped from his daze. "I'm glad you're sharing this. It kinda feels like old times", he whispered. She nodded her head and bit her lip.

This was supposed to be a friend's only night. It was supposed to be the two of them finding a common ground to stand on. They needed to forget the fights and the pain and the anger they've held on to for so long. They were supposed to joke around and laugh at the other saps that were engaging in the typical romantic holiday.

It suddenly felt like a whole lot more.

"Old times seem like a million miles away", she said softly.

He nodded his head in agreement. The times they used to share did seem like they happened years ago. They were different people in so many ways, but in other ways they were still the same Lucas and Peyton that fell in love all those years ago and that gave him hope.

"They don't have to be though", he said hopefully.

Peyton nodded and cleared her throat. The attention needed to be taken away from _them_. "So, how has the healing process been for you?" she asked.

The healing process? Honestly there wasn't a whole lot to heal. He and Lindsey had broken up. He wasn't about to tell Peyton the reasons why, but he guessed he should give her some type of answer.

"I've been dealing with it. A break up is always hard and that one was no different, but she and I weren't meant for each other. It's a hard realization I guess", he knew she was changing the topic for a reason and he couldn't blame her. She had just broken up with her boyfriend and here he was trying to open old wounds.

"I'm still really sorry", she said sympathetically.

"Thanks", he said with a smile. Her grace amazed him sometimes. A moment of silence passed and Peyton let out a sigh.

"God, I haven't walked along this wood since—"

"You came home from your internship in LA", he finished for her. "Your plane had just landed and I was positive that you were tired, but you didn't wanna go home. You wanted to walk around Tree Hill and take everything in. we went to the beach and just sat there till the sun faded away and the stars came out", he whispered.

At this point they had stopped walking and Peyton was on the verge of tears. It was hard to think about the life they led. It used to be them against the world and somewhere along the line it became them against them.

"Let's take the stairs", Lucas said as he glanced down at the sandy beach.

-x-

Brooke and Owen sat in the dining room of one of the fanciest restaurants in Tree Hill. It was more than she ever wanted from him, but it was Valentine's Day and it was Brooke and that was his answer when she tried to stop them from going in.

"You know, if you keep this up you might get lucky tonight", she teased with a smirk.

Owen smirked back, but felt his heart race. Brooke Davis had intrigued him from the moment he saw her. She exuded confidence, but there was a small amount of insecurity that he found endearing.

"Is that a promise?" he flirted back. Brooke smiled and nodded her head. The waiter came over and refilled their glasses at the same time two people they knew walked in the door.

"Hey, there's Nathan and Haley", he said as they walked over to the hostess at the front of the room.

"Lovely", she muttered.

"They seem to be having a hard time getting a table", he said with a frown.

"Well, that's too bad", she mocked concern.

He frowned at her reactions and caught Nathan's eye. The two men shared a wave and before Brooke could stop him, Owen was waving them over. Brooke's eyes grew.

"Is that a joke?" she asked Owen. The dark haired man raised a brow.

"What's the problem?"

"The problem is that Haley and I aren't talking right now."

"Okay, but I'm friends with Nathan so . . ."

"No you're not", Brooke said as she shook her head. "I'm not talking to Haley so you're not talking to Nathan", she was completely serious and on some level Owen knew that, but he still let out a chuckle.

"Babe", he said with a sigh.

"Just so you know, you are so not getting any tonight", she spat out. Before he could argue the married couple was at the table.

"Hey guys", Nathan said with a smile. He nudged Haley and she politely spoke.

"Is it okay if we join you?"

"Of course", Owen said with a smile while sending Brooke a look.

The waiter placed two extra chairs at the brunettes' table and Haley and Nathan took a seat. A tension filled silence filled the table and both men wordlessly pleaded with the women to make up. Nathan huffed and looked at Brooke.

"So Brooke has Owen done a good job today?" he asked with a smirk.

"I don't know; I suppose", she said with a shrug. Owens' mouth dropped, he didn't mean to ring his own bell, but so far things had been pretty great. "I mean I'm still so crushed because Lucas broke up with me in high school", she said while glaring at Haley.

"That's not what I meant", Haley snapped back before either man could stop it.

"That's exactly what **you** said", Brooke countered.

"So, how are the Raven's looking?" Owen asked.

Nathan nodded. "Pretty good actually", before Nathan could continue Haley's voice bellowed.

"Peyton **is** my friend."

"Then act like it sometime! You went from being one of her biggest supporters to Lucas's number one fan. I don't understand how she doesn't care more", Brooke said in disbelief.

"That's because she knows this shouldn't involve you guys", Nathan commented.

"Stay out of this, whipped boy", she said as she pointed a finger in his direction.

Nathan opened his mouth again, but Owen cut him off. "I would listen to her if I was you", he warned.

"Look", Haley began, "Let's just put this all behind us", she said as she sent Brooke a pleading glance.

The brunette eyed her outstretched hand and scoffed. There was no way she was accepting that olive branch, not until she talked to Peyton anyway.

"They're on a date right now, there isn't anything else you can do", Nathan told both women.

"Like hell there isn't", Brooke said with a scowl.

"You know, it wouldn't kill you to look at things from Lucas's point", Haley huffed as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"It wouldn't kill you to remember everything he's put Peyton through", Brooke argued with a glare.

Owen rubbed his temples and too ka deep breath. He could not listen to this again. Haley opened her mouth and he snapped.

"Stop it! They're adults and they need to figure some things out on their own. I know you love them both and it's great that they have such die hard best friends, but let them make their mistakes and let them learn from them!"

The entire restaurant grew silent and Owen blushed at his outburst. Brooke's eyes narrowed.

"Way to make a scene", she mumbled.

Owen opened his mouth, but Nathan cut him off. "I would leave it at that if I were you", he offered his own advice.

-x-

The beach had always been a place of solitude for the blondes. This time was no different. They sat with their feet stretched out in front of them and listened as the waves broke against the shore.

They hadn't spoken in a while, but it didn't bother either of them. The silence was a comfortable one and that was something they hadn't felt in a while. Lucas snuck a glance at her and smiled.

He was fully aware that he was still holding her hand earlier, but there was no way he was letting go. He hadn't held her hand in years and he was basking in the feeling. Until she mentioned Michael and that all kind of faded away.

"Life is crazy", he mumbled. She tilted her head in his direction and raised a brow.

"How so?" she asked.

"Just, where I am now compared to where I could have been is weird, you know?"

What if he had waited for her in junior year? What if he had understood her need to wait a year? What if he had called her that night in LA when he thought she didn't show up? What if he had told Lindsey the truth from the very beginning?

He shrugged. "I guess it's just that . . . when you're young you have this mold of who you are and who you're going to be and then you grow up and you don't fit into that mold. You can try to bend and fold yourself into every which way, but if that mold isn't _you_ then you'll never be who you thought you would be."

Peyton nodded her head. He felt lost and that was understandable. His fiancée had left him and now he didn't know what to do. "The Lucas that fits that mold is in there", she told him. "He may have gotten confused or strayed from the path, but he'll be back. He always is", she assured him.

Lucas smiled and nodded his head. She always knew exactly what to say to him and it was never contrived. It always came from the deepest part of her heart and he loved her for it. Mentally he wondered where she was at. If she was anywhere near the Peyton Sawyer mold she had built for herself.

She was proud that she could find the words to express what he was going through, but she couldn't find any to calm her own fears. What about her?

She was stuck. She didn't know who she was anymore. She knew she was Peyton Sawyer, but that's pretty much where it ended. She was kind of like this spot on the beach.

At one end, she was the Peyton from that summer before senior year. The girl who was fully intent on secretly loving Lucas Scott until her last breath. The girl who at the same time wasn't too sure who she was. She was lost. Her best friend had left for the summer and her mother wasn't her real mother.

At the opposite end, there was the Peyton from a few months ago. The girl who had told Lucas she wasn't going to love him anymore. That girl was lost too. She was letting go of the one thing that was a constant in her life; her love for him.

He sensed her inner turmoil and threw an arm around her shoulder. She looked up at him with a small smile on her lips. At this spot, right here, she was a mixture of both Peyton's. Except she wasn't lost.

Sitting here with Lucas Scott, she'd never felt more **found**. And that scared the hell out of her.

_And I, I taught myself how to grow _

_Without any love and there was poison in the rain _

_I taught myself how to grow _

_Now I'm crooked on the outside, and the inside's broke_

* * *

Don't worry, there will be more feelings and what not in future chapters. Let me know what you think!

P.S. --check out my one-shot, **Never Tear Us Apart**


	19. You Could Be Happy

**I don't own One Tree Hill, nor do I own "You Could Be Happy" by Snow Patrol.**

I just recently heard this song and completely fell in love with it. Thanks for all the reviews!

* * *

_You could be happy; I hope you are_

You made me happier than I'd been by far

"Morning", Peyton greeted her best friend as she walked into the kitchen.

Brooke eyed her over the rim of her coffee cup. Good morning? How could she be so casual after dining with the enemy?

"Good morning", she said accusingly.

Peyton poured her own coffee and raised a brow. "What's wrong with you?"

Brooke mocked a confused expression. "Me? Nothing's wrong with me. I was wondering what was wrong with you."

Peyton placed her mug on the counter and her hands on her hips. "What's that supposed to mean?"

The brunette opened her mouth, but closed it quickly. "Never mind", she mumbled.

"How was your Valentine's Day dinner?" Peyton asked in hopes of changing the toping.

Brooke grumbled. "I would rather not talk about it." She placed both her hands on the kitchen's island and smiled sweetly. "How was yours?"

There was that accusing tone again. "It wasn't a Valentine's Day dinner", she quickly corrected, "it was two old friends catching up", Peyton said with a shrug.

Brooke raised a brow. "Well then, how was dinner? Must have been pretty bad considering my leftovers are gone", she said bitterly.

"Sorry", Peyton said meekly and Brooke smiled. "Honestly, we didn't even have dinner."

"Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer!" Brooke boomed and stood from her seat. Peyton recoiled at her friends tone.

"Calm down, crazy. We didn't have dinner because I had a complete meltdown at the table. We left before they could bring us the entrées."

"What happened?" Brooke's angry attitude had disappeared and she was at her friend's side.

The blonde shrugged. "A lot of things, it was Valentine's Day, I was out with Lucas, Michael broke up with me . . . I just—"

"Michael broke up with you?" Brooke gasped out.

"Yeah, apparently he didn't wanna stand in the way of a non existent relationship", she muttered. Brooke frowned.

"He broke up with you because of Lucas?" Peyton nodded and let out a sigh.

"Okay, can we talk about your dinner?" the blonde pleaded. Brooke groaned inwardly, but obliged none the less. She took a deep breath and thought about the best way to approach exactly what had happened.

"It wasn't exactly a Valentine's Day dinner", she mimicked Peyton's earlier words. "It was two former friends arguing while their two men tried to ignore it", she said sheepishly.

Peyton's eyes widened. "Brooke Davis, please tell me you didn't fight with Haley last night."

"I didn't fight with Haley last night?" Brooke's voice was questioning and she threw Peyton a cheeky smile.

"This is ridiculous, Brooke", Peyton scolded.

The blonde rubbed her temples and let out a sigh. She loved Brooke for standing up for her, but it shouldn't have gotten to the point where Brooke isn't even friends with the mother of her godson.

"She started it all", the brunette defended.

Peyton rolled her eyes. "Well, now I'm ending it", she said as she grabbed Brooke's arm and took her out the door.

-x-

Nathan sat at the kitchen counter aimlessly flipping through the newspaper. He sipped his coffee and cast his eyes in the direction of his young son. Jamie was pushing his eggs around on his plate and would occasionally cast a glare in his Uncle's direction. The young Scott had learned about the blonde's date with Peyton and ever since than a pout was etched onto his lips.

Nathan sighed and was about to open his mouth when Jamie cut him off. "So, Uncle Luke, how was your date?"

The blonde Scott looked up from his own plate of eggs and raised a brow. He would have laughed at the statement if his nephew wasn't shooting daggers at him. He turned to his brother, but the dark haired Scott shrugged and sent him a look letting him know he wasn't getting involved.

He chuckled at the pained look Lucas shot him. Jamie wasn't jealous; he was protective. In the short time he had gotten to know Peyton he had come to care for her. Caring for the curly blonde seemed to be a trend amongst the Scott boys.

"I wasn't a date, Jamie", Lucas said with a sigh. "We just had dinner."

"Who has dinner with a friend on a romantic holiday?" he questioned in disbelief.

Lucas's mouth dropped and he snapped his head to meet his brother's eyes once more. "How does he know the significance of yesterday?" he asked at a whisper.

Nathan rolled his eyes. "He's four not a newborn, doof. Plus, he knows me and Hales went out", he finished with a shrug.

Lucas sighed. "Listen J. Luke", he walked over to his nephew and kneeled down to his level, "Peyton and I have a history that's older than you. Things are complicated—"

"Than un-complicate them", he cut off his uncle with a shout. Nathan chuckled; he was definitely his mother's son.

"It's not that simple", he defended himself. James rolled his eyes.

"That's a lame answer, Uncle Luke", he was definitely his father's son too.

Lucas huffed and stood back up. He rested his back against the countertop and crossed his arms in front of him. His godson was a ball buster. "You'll see when you get older", he muttered. "You've got the Scott gene in you."

Nathan raised a brow. "So, he'll either get married when he's a junior in high school or get caught up in a love triangle? Nice to know I have something to look forward to", Nathan mumbled with a smirk.

Jamie shook his head fiercely. "I'm gonna find the girl for me and love her forever", he said with a bright smile. "Just like the fairytales."

Lucas scoffed. "They're fairytales for a reason, little man."

"Ignore your Uncle Lucas, James. He's bitter because he's poor; he can't finish his second book", Nathan cast a glare in the direction of the older blonde.

James jutted his bottom lip out and stared at Lucas with pensive eyes. "Sorry you're poor, Uncle Luke", he said sincerely.

Lucas let out a breath. "Thanks Jamie."

"Soo", Nathan drew out. "How was your dinner?" the father and son shared a look and they both smirked at Lucas. He groaned and furrowed his brows.

"It was –"

His sentence was cut off by the sound of the front door flying open and than slamming shut and two female voices shouting.

"P. Sawyer, don't you dare make me do this!" a raspy voice warned. Peyton scoffed.

"Apologizing isn't going to kill you!"

"No, but I might kill her", Brooke said loudly as they both entered the kitchen. James's eyes widened and his mouth dropped.

"Don't kill mommy", he whispered with a horrified expression.

Brooke softened and walked over to her godson. "Sweetie, I didn't mean it like that", she brushed the hair on top of his head. "I meant that I was going to kill her with _kisses_ and _hugs_", she said with a dimpled smile. James let out a breath and threw his arms around her neck.

Peyton rolled her eyes at the reaction the fake answer received. She caught Nathan's eyes smiled. He opened his arms timidly and she quickly walked into the gesture.

"You don't hate me?" he asked softly; not knowing the details Brooke may have shared with her.

She chuckled against his chest. "I don't hate you", he hugged her a little tighter before finally letting go. She turned her head and met the blue eyes that caused her heart to stop. He smiled sheepishly and she did the same. Peyton bit her lip and debated about what to do. She wanted to hug, but she didn't know if it would be awkward or not.

They had hugged last night when he dropped her off, but that was different. They were both caught up in the moment of the night and nobody could see the blush on their cheeks once they broke apart. _Screw it_, she thought. She walked toward him with determination.

"P. Sawyer", a voice broke the impending moment, but it wasn't the typical raspy one; it was high pitched and demanding.

"Baby James", Peyton said with a smile. She walked over to Brooke and James hopped into her arms.

"I missed you", he whispered as his tiny arms locked around her neck.

"It's only been a day", Peyton said with a chuckle. James pouted.

"Well, the days are really long."

"What was all the yel—"

Haley's voice and heels stopped as she entered the now filled kitchen. After last night she would have been perfectly fine with never seeing Brooke Davis again, but of course she wasn't that lucky.

"Perfect timing", Peyton said as she set James on his feet. She walked over to Haley and grabbed the brunette's hand.

"You and Brooke are going to sit here and have a nice chat about everything you've been dealing with lately. Mia's album drops in four days and there will be no party if you two don't make up. James, Lucas and I are going out to the yard."

"What about me?" Nathan questioned as the blonde walked past him.

"You're playing referee", she said with a sweet smile. Nathan frowned, but before he could protest she was walking out the door with his son and older brother in tow.

As the sliding glass door closed he faced the two women sitting on opposite ends. He stared at them expectantly and when neither of them budged he folded his arms over his broad chest.

"You heard the woman. Chat."

-x-

The three of them walked into the yard. Lucas had his hands shoved so far into his pockets he was sure they would rip a hole through them at any moment. Peyton bit her lip and crossed her arms over her chest. This was incredibly awkward.

"Peyton?" James's questioning voice broke her thoughts.

"What's up, kiddo?" she asked.

"When you were little what did you wanna be?" he asked innocently. Peyton thought about her answer before sitting on the concrete.

"I really didn't know", she said honestly. "When I met my birth-mom I wanted to do something in art, or music, or business", she finished with a shrug.

"But what about when you were little. Like my age", he clarified as he bounced a small orange ball up and down.

Lucas stared at Peyton as she furrowed her brows in thought. It was so adorable it made him smile. She knew exactly what she wanted to be when she was four, but she didn't want to say it aloud. James gave her a puppy dog look and she crumbled. Peyton opened her mouth and couldn't believe she was about to answer this.

"When I was your age I wanted to be a ballerina", she whispered.

James and Lucas's eyes bulged out of their heads. Peyton Sawyer wanted to be a tutu wearing, pink leotard suited ballerina. Lucas took a seat next to her and let out a breath.

"Really?" James asked in shock.

Peyton looked from Lucas to James and rolled her eyes. "It's not that shocking", she said.

Lucas snapped from his daze. "No, it's just that, who would've thought that the Peyton I knew in high school once wanted to be a tiny dancer", he teased with a smirk. She glared at him and James bit his lip. He knew that look by now.

"I'm gonna play ball", he said before darting off.

"A ballerina huh?" Lucas teased. Peyton playfully shoved his shoulder and a slow smile spread to her lips.

"Shut up", she demanded. "What about you?" she asked with a raised brow.

"I always wanted to be an astronaut", he admitted. Peyton snickered.

"Come on, all little boys wanna be an astronaut", he defended.

"And all little girls wanna be a ballerina", she said in the same tone.

"Fair enough", he conceded. A silence passed between the two and they both watched Jamie shoot the basketball.

Neither of them would admit, but they imagined that this is what their life together would have been like. Sitting in the backyard on a lazy Saturday morning watching their son shoot a small ball threw an equally as small net. Maybe their daughter would whimper from her place in the playpen and Lucas would smile at her before lifting the small toddler into his strong arms. Peyton would grin from where she sat and a pressure against her stomach would cause her smile to widen. Lucas would return to her side with their daughter on his lap and he would place his left hand over hers. Their wedding bands would glint in the sunlight. They would smile and lean over to share a kiss.

This would be their life.

This would be _perfection_.

"Uncle Luke!" the small boy yelled out. Both blondes shook their heads and blushed at the thoughts that swarmed their minds.

"What's up?" he asked as he cleared his throat.

"How come you didn't marry Lindsey?" he asked harmlessly.

Peyton took in a sharp breath and Lucas's mouth dropped. Why had she gotten the easy question? He wasn't going to tell Jamie what actually happened that day because the four year old couldn't even begin to understand the meaning behind everything, but he would give him an answer.

"Sometimes people aren't meant to be together", he said softly. "Lindsey and I realized that and she had to leave."

"I'm sorry", the brown eyed boy said sincerely. Lucas smiled at his compassion.

"Thanks, and do yourself a favor and stay away from them. Girls are nothing but trouble", he joked.

"They're only trouble when you try to juggle more than one", Peyton said sweetly. Lucas's mouth dropped indignantly before he nodded and smirked. It was weird to be talking so casually about these things, but he wasn't going to argue with it.

"Girls are gross", Jamie said matter of factly.

"What's wrong with girls?" Peyton mocked offence.

"Alison Scarselli always tries to kiss me", he said with a truly disgusted face.

Peyton and Lucas laughed. "I thought you were going to find the girl for you and love her forever. Like in a fairytale", he mocked his nephew's earlier words.

James turned a bright shade of red and dug his toe against the hard ground. Peyton smiled at his embarrassment and turned to scowl at Lucas before calling out to the little boy.

"Someone told me once that there was nothing wrong with fairytales. Everyone lives happily ever after."

Lucas glanced at her and hoped she meant the words she preached. In his own way they were a fairytale. She was the damsel in distress and he was the knight in shining armor. She just hadn't needed too much saving lately.

"So, yesterday was fun right?" he asked optimistically. She looked over at him and nodded.

"Aside from my freak out, it was pretty great", he felt his heart swell.

"Well, if you ever need to talk again or anything – I mean not that you have to, but I would love to be that guy for you", he stumbled over his words.

"_Peyton, I made you a promise and besides – you should be able to turn to me for help. I love being that guy for you."_

Peyton smiled as she remembered that day and that conversation and the way her heart melted at the concern he showed for her. Without thinking she reached over and threw her arms around his neck, as if it were the most natural thing in the world his arms wrapped around her waist and he held her close.

"Thanks Luke", she whispered.

He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. The warm breath tickled her skin and she suppressed a moan.

"Anything for you."

_Somehow everything I own smells of you_

And for the tiniest moment it's all not true

* * *

The whole Haley, Brooke conversation won't be written out, but I'll address it – most likely in the next chapter. Let me know what you think!


	20. Mesmerized

**I still don't own it, nor do I own "Mesmerized" by Lifehouse.**

So, I have no real excuse for the delay of this chapter other than that I was sick and still am and I was having a hard time getting from point A to point B to point C. But to apologize for the extreme delay, it's a long one.

Thanks for all the reviews!

* * *

_Whatever we are_

_I still remember the way we were_

"This"

"Is"

"Torture"

All three men sighed. They had been in Brooke's boutique for close to an hour. The brunette has shut down the entire store for her best friend; tonight was the album party for the release of Mia's album and Peyton had to have the perfect outfit. But Brooke wasn't here helping her.

Chris, Nathan, and Lucas were.

"Why aren't the women here?" Chris asked through a yawn.

Lucas rolled his eyes at his lack of manners and spoke. "They're spending the day sorting through their issues", he recited what Haley had told him.

"I'm waiting to get a phone call from the hospital", Nathan teased.

"How come Jamie isn't here?" Chris asked.

"He's the buffer", Lucas said simply. Chris raised a brow and Nathan smirked.

"We figured, if he was there Brooke and Haley wouldn't be able to kill each other", Chris snorted.

"You underestimate those girls", the three men chuckled and heard the door open and watched as Peyton stepped out.

"Well?" she asked as she held her arms out. They nodded in acceptance.

"It's nice."

"You look good."

"Great, you look great", Lucas said with a smile. Peyton smiled back and scowled at the other two before disappearing into the dressing room.

"Can you not be so blissed out around her? I'd like to leave here with a best friend and if you keep giving her better compliments, that's not gonna happen", Nathan said as he shoved Lucas good-naturedly.

The blonde shrugged. "I can't help it; they just roll off my tongue."

"Dude, when are you going to tell her?" Chris asked exasperatedly.

"Tell her what?"

"That you're in love with her", Chris said.

Lucas shook his head. "It's complicated."

"If my four year old son didn't like that answer, what makes you think we like that answer?" Nathan asked with a frown.

"Guys, it just doesn't seem like the right time—"

"You and Peyton have never had the right time, but you've always worked around it", Nathan pointed out.

Lucas sighed. He knew his brother was right. Peyton and he had always joked that timing was never their thing; it was more about when their hearts were ready and right now he wasn't sure that Peyton's was. Hence the hold off.

"Can we talk about this another time, like say . . . when Peyton isn't five feet away from us?"

"Whatever", they both muttered.

"Alright guys, this is the last one I'm trying on cause I'm going to lose my mind!" she yelled from behind the door. They heard the click of the door at the same time Lucas's cell started to ring.

He stared at the phone before clearing his throat. "I have to take this", he mumbled. The men watched him leave with curious eyes.

The curly haired blonde watched him leave with a furrowed brow. As he walked out of the archway Peyton cleared her throat and Nathan and Chris's heads snapped forward; both of their jaws dropped.

"Lookin' sexy Goldilocks", Chris said with a smirk.

Nathan glared at him. "You look incredible, Sawyer."

Peyton smiled at the compliments and turned to walk into the dressing room. She loved their opinions, but she kind of wanted to know what Lucas thought about it. She quickly threw that idea out of her head; she sounded like a teenage girl.

"You look breathtaking", a voice stopped her. She felt a shiver run up her spine and slowly faced him.

"You think?" she asked insecurely.

He started at her once more. The midnight blue dress clung to every curve perfectly and the length highlighted her long legs wonderfully. Her curls framed her shoulders and her hair was so long it almost hit the top covering her chest; which he noted was perfectly defined.

He nodded enthusiastically. "Definitely, that's the dress", he said surely.

Nathan and Chris watched the exchange with a smirk on their faces. Peyton blushed profusely before nodding her head.

"Lemme get changed and we can go", she said before disappearing. Lucas's eyes still held a far off look when he turned to meet the smirks of his brother and friend.

"What?" he asked.

"You look breathtaking", Nathan mimicked. Chris smiled shyly.

"You think?"

"Definitely", he said more dramatically than Lucas had. The blonde rolled his eyes, Nathan and Chris chuckled as he walked past them. Peyton followed them all out the door with a giddy smile on her face; no doubt from the compliment Lucas had given her.

"So, who was on the phone?" Peyton asked as they locked the boutique up for the day. Lucas tensed.

"Umm, it was, uh – actually . . . Lindsey, it was Lindsey", he finally stuttered out. Nathan and Chris's eyes grew with shock and then they groaned; did he really have to tell her that? Peyton raised a brow.

"Oh, wow", she said, "well, what did she – hold on", she said as she dug for her ringing cell phone from her purse.

"Seriously?" Chris whispered to Lucas. "Lindsey calls you and you **have** to tell Peyton?"

"I didn't wanna lie", he said, "but it wasn't anything like that", he assured the spiky haired man. Peyton closed the phone and returned to the group of boys.

"Sorry", she said meekly.

"Was that Brooke or my wife?" Nathan asked in curiosity. He hadn't heard from either of them all day, "It wasn't my son was it?" he asked as he thought about the two of them refusing to let the other go from a choke hold and James having to play referee.

Peyton chuckled. "No it wasn't your wife, or Brooke . . . not even Jamie", she said and hoped they would leave it at that. They all walked down the sidewalk for another moment before Lucas cleared his throat.

"Who was it than?" he asked in curiosity. There was something she was holding back.

"It was Michael", she said calmly. Nathan and Chris exchanged worried glances.

It was going to be a long night.

-x-

The champagne flowed freely and Lucas watched as Peyton helped herself to a glass and than another. He was letting her have her fun, but made sure to keep an eye on her at all times.

"Stare a little harder", the voice teased.

He glared at the girl. "Shut up, Hales", he muttered. "I'm just making sure she doesn't over do it", he said matter-of-factly.

Haley rolled her eyes. "That's literally her second glass of champagne."

"Is there a reason you're here?" he asked in frustration. The brunette smirked.

"Someone's temperamental", she teased. Lucas scoffed. "Would this have anything to do with her ex being here?"

Lucas grumbled. Michael Beck and Peyton were still pretty friendly for two people who broke up a week and a half ago. Right now they were talking and laughing and Peyton was resting her hand on his forearm. Lucas clenched his water bottle.

"Easy, Hulk", Haley warned with a smile. "He worked with Peyton at getting Mia's name out there, he called to ask what time this was starting", she explained what had happened earlier.

"How do you know about that?" he asked with a raised brow.

"_I_ actually talk to her", she said with a glare. Lucas rolled his eyes.

"Hales—"

"Go talk to her", she ordered. Lucas opened his mouth to protest, but she cut him off. "Go! Now!" she gave him a shove and watched as he shuffled in the direction of the other blonde.

Peyton watched as the handsome blonde in a dark blue dress shirt and black dress pants approached them. Her heart raced.

"Why haven't you talked to him?" Michael asked. She turned to look at him.

"Because", she said with a shrug. "Lindsey called him earlier", she sighed out. Michael raised a brow.

"Who's Lindsey?"

"His ex-fiancée, the woman he's still trying to get over", she said dejectedly.

Michael snorted. "Sweetie, if anything _you're_ the woman he's desperately trying to get over", he turned his head to look at the obviously nervous man that was heading in their direction, "But of you ask me, he's not trying all that hard."

Peyton was about to ask him what he meant until the man of the hour was standing in front of her. She looked down and to the side; anywhere, but into his eyes. He stuffed his hands onto his pockets and looked around the club. He needed something to talk about because this was incredibly embarrassing. Mia took to the stage and greeted the crowd, thanked Peyton abundantly, and began a song.

"Would you like to dance?" he asked before he could stop himself. Peyton smiled apprehensively. She glanced over at Michael only to see that he was in a separate conversation.

"I'd love to", she whispered. He took her hand and they both ignored the jolt they felt run through their bodies.

He pulled her onto the dance floor and placed both his hands on her hips, her hands were firmly on his broad shoulders and there was a safe distance between their bodies.

They were dancing like two seventh graders.

Or like a teenage Lucas Scott and Peyton Sawyer; unsure of the other's feelings and too afraid to blur that line.

Silence passed and Lucas let out a breath. The mouthwash scented air tingled Peyton's nose and she unconsciously moved closer to him; lessening the gap. He cleared his throat; he needed to get something out in the open.

"So, you know how Lindsey called me earlier?" Peyton tensed at the mention of her and prepared herself for the fake smile she'd have to plaster onto her lips when he said they were getting back together. She nodded and took a deep breath.

"Well, she wants to publish my book", he said with a smile. Peyton's jaw dropped and she grinned.

"That's amazing", she said before pulling him in for a hug. He squeezed her against his body. "Now you can stop worrying", she said with a smile as she pulled back slightly.

"It's a huge weight off my shoulders", he agreed.

"I'm proud of you, Lucas", and she really was. She knew how much getting that book published meant to him.

"Thanks Peyton", he whispered. "You know, you're not exactly alone in the accomplishment field", he watched as she blushed in embarrassment.

"Mia's the talent", she brushed it off.

"But you got her here", he didn't back down. "She wouldn't even have a singing career if it wasn't for you", Peyton bit her lip to stop the grin that begged to form.

"I'm proud of you", he whispered sincerely. At this point she was smiling so wide all her teeth were showing.

"Thank you, Lucas", she whispered. A comfortable silence passed and they both listened to the words that left Mia's mouth.

"Have you noticed that we match?" she asked with a knowing smile.

Lucas raised both his brows. "Do we?" he mocked surprise. Peyton laughed.

"Was it a ploy to get me to dance with you?" she teased. Her arms locked comfortably around his neck and he savored the feeling.

"Did it work?" he asked with a gruff voice that sent shivers down her back and raised the hair along her body.

"I'm in your arms aren't I?" she asked with a coy smirk; one that nearly sent Lucas over the edge.

"Yeah you are", he whispered as he pulled her closer.

And he wanted her to be there forever.

-x-

The night wore on and the crowd thinned out. Many of the locals and whatever record execs Michael had invited had left, including Michael himself, much to Lucas's pleasure. He knew there wasn't anything going on between him and Peyton anymore, but that didn't mean he wanted the guy to hang around.

Speaking of the curly haired blonde, she was currently trying her hardest to drag Mia out to the dance floor; the brunette was not having it. Lucas chuckled as Peyton gave up with a huff that caused her bangs to fly up into the air.

"Peyton needs to go home", Brooke said with a laugh. The blonde started to do the chicken dance . . . alone.

"I'll take her", Lucas offered. Nathan raised a brow and Haley smiled softly. Brooke scowled.

"It's okay", she assured him. "I can do it."

"Brooke, you've been drinking", he pointed out.

_Damn_. "Nathan and Haley could it", she said with a sweet smile.

"Actually, we need to get home so that Carrie and see Chris. He's leaving in a few days for a gig and she wants to spend some time with him", Nathan said meekly. He and Haley kissed and hugged the blonde and brunette separately before walking over to say goodbye to the curly haired blonde.

_Double damn_. "Well, then . . ."

"Brooke, just let me take her home", he requested politely. Brooke grumbled before casting her eyes back onto her best friend; who was currently leaping into her arms.

"Hey Brooke!"

Brooke stumbled back at the impact. She frowned at the smell of alcohol, she wasn't drunk, just overly tipsy, but Brooke was glad that she wasn't like this when the important people were here.

"How you doin' P. Sawyer?"

"I'm kinda tired", Peyton said as she yawned. She rested her head on Brooke's shoulder and closed her eyes. "Brooke, why are you spinning?" she asked with her eyes still closed.

"Okay Boozy, let Luke take you home. I'll be in later", Brooke rasped higher than normal for her drunken friend. She pulled Peyton away from her body.

Peyton nodded. "Lukey lets go!" she ordered and snapped her fingers. He chuckled and followed after her wobbly figure, but was jerked back forcefully.

"If you take advantage of her, you better make it good because it will be the last time you ever use that part of your body", Brooke warned at a dangerously low tone.

Lucas swallowed hard and pulled his arm from her hand. "I wouldn't do that, Brooke."

Her hard eyes softened and she glanced at the floor before looking back up at him. "I'm sorry", she whispered. "It's just that . . . she's Peyton, you know?" Brooke said softly.

"I know Brooke and I know you love her", he said softly before sighing and turning his blue eyes in her direction. "But, I do too", he whispered with a strained voice.

"She's heard that before, Luke", Brooke's voice rasped; the protection of her blonde best friend still at the forefront of her mind. Lucas nodded mutely. It still hurt to be reminded of the pain he'd caused her.

Brooke sighed. "Listen, I can't promise that I'll be home later, so if you don't mind . . . could you stay until she falls asleep", she asked kindly. Lucas smiled.

"Let's go Rakeboy!"

-x-

"The staaars are crying . . . for what we could have haaad!" Peyton belted out as Lucas helped her up the stairs. Lucas groaned as he opened the front door. She had felt the need to sing that song the entire car ride home and by this point his head was pounding because of it.

"Okay, how about a different song?" Lucas suggested as they walked down the hallway.

Peyton shook her head. "I love this song . . . it reminds me of", she stopped her sentence and turned her head slightly to look at him. His breath halted and he could have sworn she was going to say it reminded her of him, but instead she shook her head.

"Never mind", she whispered suddenly a little more sober than before. They walked into her bedroom and Peyton flopped onto the bed.

"So, did you have a good night?" Lucas asked as he pulled her shoes off.

"Tonight was a dream come true", she whispered as he placed a blanket over her. "I'm really glad you were there with me", she whispered as her eyes shut.

Lucas smiled and brushed a curl behind her ear. She may not remember this in the morning, but he certainly would.

"I know the feeling", he whispered, thinking back to the many memories he shared with her.

She smiled softly. "I wish I could have been there", she mumbled with her eyes still closed. "When you got the news about your novel; I wish I could have been there when your dreams came true", she whispered.

He nodded his head even though she couldn't see it. He wished she had been there too. He wished a lot of things were different between them. She snuggled up against her pillow and let out a content sigh. He smiled and cupped her cheek with his hand.

"Every moment I get to spend with you is a dream come true", he whispered to her sleeping form.

_Sometimes when I'm with you_

_These feelings falling_

_Like a landslide_

_As both of our dreams collide_

* * *

Let me know what you think!

**Also, there are only about 2 chapters left.**


	21. With Me

**I own nothing, not even "With Me" by Sum 41.**

Sooo . . . I once again have no excuse. The worst part is that half this chapter was already written and it's taken me this long to get it done – I haven't even started the last chapter yet!

Only one chapter left! Thanks for all the reviews!

* * *

_Through it all_

I've made my mistakes

I stumble and fall

But I mean these words

The sunlight hit her face and Peyton rolled to the side to bury her head into the pillow. Her head was pounding. She hadn't had a headache this bad since – oh God. Her eyes snapped open and she stared at the white of her pillow. She blindly patted the spot next to her and let out a breath when she found it empty.

A flash of disappointment hit her body. She shook her head. That was the most ridiculous thing to feel, she was glad nothing happened between Lucas and her; they were friends. The sound of water running and pans being put on the stove made her smile and leave the room.

Brooke Davis was self-proclaimed kitchen incompetent, but many people didn't know that after a night of drinking she could make a hell of a breakfast. Peyton walked down the hall and rubbed the sleep from her eye.

"You remember how I like my eggs, Davis?" she asked with a soft, sleep filled voice. She rounded the corner and stopped at the sight before her.

A boy with a skill for the kitchen was making himself at home in this one. Lucas must have had a pan on every burner of the stove. The coffee was brewing and toast was on the table. She also noted that his back muscles rippled wonderfully as he flipped whatever he was cooking.

"Isn't cooking shirtless kinda dangerous?" she teased.

Lucas dropped the spatula and froze at the voice. He turned to face her and felt his blood rise. She must have changed during the night and it wasn't a whole lot better than the short dress she had on. He hadn't seen her in her sleep shorts in years and he couldn't believe he had gone this long without it. Her tank top was snug and rode up a little; exposing the flesh of her flat stomach.

"I figured you'd be hungry", he mumbled as he picked the utensil up from the floor. He walked over to the sink and rinsed it off. "I know how you get when you're hung over", he said to her from over his shoulder.

She dropped her mouth indignantly. "How do I get?" she asked as she took a seat at the kitchen island.

He shook his head as he returned to the stove. "Answering that would get me into trouble and I'd like to eat before I'm thrown out", he joked.

She laughed and studied him as he cooked breakfast. This felt normal . . . like it was the way it should be.

"Maybe I'll keep you around", she mumbled between bites of toast. He stared at the food he was preparing and raised a brow. "I'm gonna need to eat lunch . . . maybe even dinner", she teased.

"Ouch", he said with a laugh. "That hit home, Peyt", he said with a smile.

She blushed at the nickname and the way it rolled off his tongue so easily. He hadn't called her Peyt in a long time and it felt really good to hear. It brought her back to happier, simpler times.

"Scrambled eggs", she said with a smile as he placed a plate in front of her.

"With American cheese", he smiled proudly. Peyton grinned and happily picked up the fork.

"This looks amazing", she said before digging in. Lucas sat next to her with his own plate in front of him. He glanced in her direction and sighed inwardly.

Sitting here, on an early morning with a homemade breakfast, a cup of coffee, the newspaper at his side, and having Peyton Sawyer next to him was amazing.

"So", Peyton broke the comfortable silence, "not that I don't appreciate a good meal, but how come you're here?" he raised a brow.

"I can go", he said as he stood. Peyton pulled on his arm and brought him back to the seat.

"No, I'm gonna need to eat lunch remember", she teased. He let out a chuckled and nodded his head. "Seriously though, you didn't have to stay."

"If I didn't stay who would have held those curls back", he said as he pulled on a frizzy ringlet. She groaned at the thought of him holding her hair back while she reacquainted herself with the porcelain item. The Classic Sparkle popped into her mind and a small smile graced her perfect lips.

"You're always saving me", she whispered with a profound sense of nostalgia. Lucas smiled a smile that was purely reserved for her and bravely covered her hand with his own.

"I always plan to", he whispered back.

-x-

Nathan groaned as he pushed the broom across the floor of the club. He had been here bright and early, as ordered by a certain brunette and the work load hadn't seemed to ease.

"Stop being such a baby", he glared at his longtime friend.

Cleaning TRIC wasn't exactly on anyone's agenda, especially after the night they had, but none of them were in the mood to deal with the wrath that was Brooke Davis.

"Why are we even doing this?" he asked in exasperation.

Brooke ignored him and continued her activities. Owen looked up from the bar and sent Nathan a pleading look. He huffed and threw the broom down before walking in the direction of the bar.

"Could you seriously not get on her case", Owen begged. Nathan raised a brow.

"What's got you all stressed?"

"Who aren't here?" he asked as he motioned around the space. Nathan took a quick glance and took notice of his wife and Brooke, Jamie was on the stage, and Chris and Carrie were wiping down the tables while keeping an eye on the precocious four year old.

"Peyton and my brother", he said with a small smirk. Owen nodded.

"All I heard, the **entire** night was how Lucas had better not be pervy and how she had better not get a phone call from a sobbing Peyton because then she'd have to find a pair of scissors sharp enough to mangle Lucas's . . . little Lucas", he said with a grimace. By the time he was done ranting he caught the look Nathan had been trying to give him.

"Actually", a raspy voice spoke. Owen closed his eyes and groaned inwardly. "I said that it didn't have to be sharp, in fact a dull swiss army knife would have been fine. More work for me, but oh well", she said as she shrugged her shoulders.

"Brooke, I didn't—"

"Know I was standing right behind you?" she finished with a smirk. "Too bad you're not more perceptive, Nathan had been giving you a look the entire time", she was smiling, but both men knew that she was beyond aggravated.

"Brooke, he was just . . ." Nathan let his sentence hang and looked between the couple in hopes of some type of answer.

"Is it so wrong for me to be protective of her?" Brooke asked rhetorically.

"No its not", Nathan said without hesitation. "She's your best friend, its normal."

"Than why does everyone make a face when I say things?" she asked heatedly.

"Because, babe – I wasn't making a face", Owen mumbled once he realized he had no comment.

"No, you just decided to whine about it all", Brooke said as she pointed an accusing finger at him.

"Brooke, we know you love her", Nathan began gently.

"Yes I do", Brooke said with a firm head nod. "So how is it wrong that I'm mad that I haven't gotten a phone call from her and Lucas still isn't here?"

"It's not wrong", he assured her. Brooke smiled triumphantly. Finally someone was on her side. "I just don't think its fair", she scowled. Maybe not.

"How am I not being fair? I could have easily gone home—"

"Actually, you had no car and I refused to drive you", Owen smirked teasingly and Brooke glared at him.

"Brooke, I love her too", Nathan said with a brother-like smile. "But do you see me freaking out over this?"

Brooke folded her arms over her chest. "Nathan, you haven't seen her fall apart", she whispered.

Nathan sighed. "I know I haven't, but Brooke she's an adult. If Lucas is what she wants, than she needs to be able to be with him", he said softly.

Brooke raised a brow. Before she could say another word Jamie came running over to the three of them. "Dad, what's a comet?" he asked as Nathan lifted him up and placed him on the stool.

Everyone raised a brow and Nathan squatted so that he was eye level with his son. "Why do you wanna know?"

Jamie looked away guiltily and Nathan pursed his lips. "James Lucas Scott", at the fatherly tone Owen walked away and waited for Brooke to follow him, but she stayed planted where she was.

"I might have looked at the papers mommy has in her room", he admitted vaguely. Nathan resisted the urge to smirk. He was too much like his mother.

"What exactly did these papers say?" he asked in interest.

James smiled. "Something about a boy and a comet and the boy was lost without it, he needed that comet more than anything in the world and once it came back everything made sense again", he said with a crooked smile.

Nathan furrowed his brows. He knew his son was smart, but he didn't think he was that insightful. "How do you know all this?"

James shrugged. "I kinda heard mom talking about it on the phone", he admitted shyly.

"James", Nathan sighed out. The little boy frowned at the tone of his voice.

"Jamie", Brooke cut in, "do you know who your mom was talking to?" she asked in interest. The little boy shook his head and the brunette sighed.

"But, the papers had Uncle Luke's name on it", he said in hopes that that would help. Nathan and Brooke shared a look before glancing back at the four year old.

"I'll be back later", Brooke whispered before leaving the club.

-x-

Their intimate moments during breakfast had seemingly been forgotten as the day wore on. That wasn't to say that they hadn't been replaced by other moments. Lunch had come and gone and in the preparation of it, the blondes had laughed and dare they think, flirted more than they had in the recent weeks.

Lucas had finally put on a shirt and Peyton had changed into a longer pair of shorts; an old pair of his actually. Currently they sat on the couch, laughing about last night. Well, Lucas was laughing, Peyton was blushing.

"I'm serious, that was the best version of the chicken dance I have ever seen", he said with a smile.

Peyton covered her face with her hands. "That is so humiliating", her response was muffled from behind her hiding position.

Lucas chuckled and gently pulled her hands away. "It was entertaining", he countered. He kept her hands between his and Peyton smiled, although it was a bit disbelievingly. His hands were warm in contrast to her chilly ones and she wanted to keep them there forever.

"We should watch a movie", she said quietly as she pulled her hands away.

Lucas's smile faltered for a moment before he nodded his head. "I'll make the popcorn, you pick the movie", he said before standing from the couch. Peyton let out a breath as he left the room.

'A Walk to Remember' played on the screen as Lucas sat on the couch.

"Oh come on", he said with a pout. "You never liked chick flicks."

Peyton shrugged as she grabbed for the popcorn that was in the bowl he had brought with him. "I always like this one", she said simply.

"I cannot believe I'm watching this", he muttered.

"Oh please", she said as she rolled her eyes. "This is a really good movie, although the whole married in high school thing is a little off", she admitted.

"Not really, Nathan and Haley did it", he pointed out. She nodded.

"Still . . . I mean when I asked Jake to marry me it was", she stopped her sentence and closed her eyes. When she opened them his blue eyes were staring back at her.

"You . . . you proposed to Jake?" he stuttered out.

"I – well, it was in high school and I don't know . . . it just kind of happened", she said as she shrugged her shoulders. She didn't exactly want to have this conversation with him. He shook his head in disbelief and scooted away from her. She raised a brow.

"What's wrong?"

"You asked another man to marry you before we started dating and never told me", he said incredulously.

"It wasn't something I really liked to remember, plus what good would bringing it up have done?"

"You would have married him", Lucas said as he stood from the couch. The fact that she was so willing to get married in high school, but wouldn't marry him when they were nineteen was running through his mind and he was almost suffocating from it.

Peyton stood and followed him to the door. "Okay, I don't entirely understand what just happened, but you have no right to act this way", she said with a hand on her hip. His anger flowed and before he could stop himself he opened his mouth and blurted out;

"I love you!"

The silence that followed was deafening. Peyton's eyes widened and she felt her breath get caught in her throat. She had wanted to hear those words for so long. The past nearly four years had been filled with her wanting to hear those words.

"I'm in love with you."

And as he clarified his statement she couldn't find the strength to say them back. Loving Lucas usually ended in heartache, she knew this from experience. Openly being in love with Lucas usually ended in complete and utter devastation and she couldn't go through that again.

Lucas saw the panic in her green eyes and he immediately panicked himself. He was a fool. This was definitely way too soon for any type of declarations. They were friends now, really good friends actually. And this was definitely not the way he had wanted to tell.

"I'm not expecting you to say anything back", he said quickly. "I just really needed you to finally know that. I love you, Peyton. I don't think I've ever stopped."

She could feel her eyes burning and desperately tried to hold the tears back. The last thing she needed was to cry. Crying would lead to comforting and comforting would lead to her falling into his arms like a hopeless romantic.

Peyton Sawyer the hopeless romantic had died that morning in the hotel when she woke up in an empty room.

Peyton Sawyer the realist had remained and she was screaming at the top of her lungs right now.

"Oh, okay, well . . . thank you", she said with a completely serious face.

Lucas could honestly say that if this was a different situation he would have laughed at her. Instead he was standing in front of her with a blank expression. She was thanking him?

Slowly, but surely a smile graced his lips. In some way this moment was very fitting for them. He was brought back to that night in senior year when he responded with a disappointing 'oh'. He realized now, how ridiculous that answer was.

"You're welcome", he said with a smile still in place.

Peyton smiled back and they both stood there awkwardly. This wasn't how she envisioned a movie night to go. Then again, Lucas Scott tended to be the master of surprises. She glanced over at the forgotten television with the paused movie and the bowl of now cold popcorn

"So, how about this movie?" she asked in a desperate attempt to change the atmosphere.

Lucas nodded and walked to the front of the couch. She sat beside him and hit the play button. As the movie started he thought back to everything that had just taken place. He told Peyton he loved her. She thanked him and now they were watching a movie.

He glanced in her direction and watched as she happily chewed on the popcorn. He wasn't exactly hoping for – or even expecting a grand return of the feelings, but he did think they would talk about it. He only hoped it wouldn't get brushed under the rug and completely forgotten about.

Suddenly her hand covered his and she worked it out so that their fingers were interlocked. He smiled brightly. This wasn't what he had expected, but it was something.

And that's all he could've asked for.

_I want you to know_

With everything, I won't let this go

These words are my heart and soul

I'll hold onto this moment you know

As I'll bleed my heart out to show

And I won't let go

* * *

Let me know what you think!


	22. I Will Be

**I still own nothing, not even "I Will Be" by Leona Lewis.**

This takes place the same day. By now I'm sure you know I'm recommending this song for you all. This is the last chapter for this story and it's a long one (**over****6,000 words**)! There's an authors note at the bottom.

Thanks for all the reviews!

**Warning**: I wanted this chapter to go out with a bang and so do Lucas and Peyton haha.

* * *

_There's nothing I could say to you  
Nothing I could ever do to make you see  
What you mean to me_

_All the pain, the tears I cried  
Still you never said goodbye and now I know  
How far you'd go_

They awkwardly sat in the car. Her engine had been turned off a while ago and the only thing to be heard was their soft breaths. Lucas was sure his heart was beating so loudly she could hear it perfectly.

They were both still reeling from the aftershock of his earth quaking declaration. Peyton still hadn't said anything to him and Lucas was holding on to the tiniest, thinnest string of hope that she would. She sighed a sigh that let him know she was uncomfortable and it killed any high hopes he had. They worked so hard over the last few months at being friends and he had seemingly ruined it all.

He smoothed his hands over his jeans and looked around the car that had haunted his mind. He wasn't sure what it was about this classic car, but he could never fully escape it. Maybe it was because the history they shared had this car weaved into it.

"I'm sorry if what I said earlier made this . . . us awkward", he broke the uncomfortable silence with an uncomfortable statement.

She closed her eyes and groaned. Of course he had to bring it up again. "No, it's – I don't know", she whispered as she shook her head.

Lucas nodded and felt like the biggest jerk in the world. Sometimes he needed to keep his damn mouth shut. "Right, well I'm gonna go inside. Haley's probably waiting", he said as he used a thumb to point to the house.

She nodded and bit her lip. "I should get back too", she whispered. "I still wanna head over to TRIC; I would like to get home before it rains."

Lucas pursed his lips and cast his eyes up to the sky. It wasn't a bright blue, but it was blue none the less. There were hardly any clouds and the ones that were in the sky were perfectly white; not a dark one in the bunch.

"I don't think it's gonna rain", he said with a smirk.

She felt a rush of emotions flood her veins at the gesture. He opened the car door and stepped onto the curb. As he closed the door he rested his hands against the roof and peered in to look at her.

"Thanks for the ride", he said with a smile. Peyton nodded shyly.

He let out a breath and his eyes turned thoughtful. "I meant what I said before, I'm sorry if it scared you, but I just couldn't _not_ tell you", he finished with a shrug and a boyish grin.

"I know the feeling", she mumbled with a smile. Lucas chuckled and Peyton felt her entire body tense with want.

"See ya, Peyt", he said with a quick wave. She watched him walk away and threw her head against the headrest.

Oh, I was definitely going to rain.

_I know I let you down  
But it's not like that now  
This time I'll never let you go_

Peyton walked into the house and threw her keys onto the small table that was placed beside the door. So far today had been a series of unexpected events and it wasn't even dinner time yet. She walked into the kitchen to find her best friend sitting at the counter, staring aimlessly into space while stirring her hot chocolate.

"Long day B. Davis?" the brunette snapped from her daze and set her brown eyes on her best friend. Her lip twitched and she scoffed under her breath.

"Something like that", she muttered. Her mind was still speaking the words she had read from the pages. The pages that he had only written within the last few months. The pages that were written about her best friend while he was with his fiancée.

Peyton furrowed her brows and stepped further into the room. "Thanks for cleaning up TRIC, sorry I couldn't get down there", she said with a smile.

"I bet", Brooke muttered. Peyton raised a brow and folded her arms over her chest.

"What was that?" she asked even though she heard the statement perfectly.

Brooke groaned inwardly. She was doing again. She feigned a smile and batted her eye lashes. "Nothing. Where are you coming from?" Brooke asked in hopes of changing the topic.

Peyton fixed her eyes to stare at the tiled floor. This was a conversation that she had wanted to avoid.

"I was dropping Luke off at Naley's", she said in a low voice. Brooke raised a brow and that said everything she wanted to. Peyton took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"Lucas told me he's in love with me", she said in a rushed breath.

Brooke took note of the pained expression her friend used as the words left her mouth. Her tough, typical Brooke Davis composure crumbled and she felt her bottom lip quiver.

"I've been a bad best friend", Brooke whimpered out. Peyton blinked at the shock from the words before standing from the stool and rushing to her best friend's side.

"Brooke, that's insane", she said honestly. She wrapped her arms around the brunette's neck. "You're the **best** best friend in the entire world", she whispered when she heard Brooke's sniffle.

"No, it's true. You're _so_ scared to love Lucas and that's my fault", she blubbered. Peyton shook her head and hugged Brooke closer.

"Nothing involving me and Lucas is your fault. It has everything to do with me and him and our constant ability to hurt each other", she said softly as her voice shook.

"Everyone's right in what they've been saying. Not about me still loving Lucas", she said quickly. "That ship sailed a long time ago . . . actually it was never even docked. It was always out to sea and I was kind of swimming to it and then your boat came along—"

"Brooke!" Peyton cut her friend off with a gentle smile.

"He loves you, Peyton. Probably more than any of us can even assume to know. It's the type of love that people rarely find and you had it, you deserve to keep it", Peyton felt her eyes water at the words that left her best friends mouth.

"I didn't trust him not to hurt you", Brooke said as a sob broke through her throat

"Brooke I . . ." she let her sentence hang in the air because she had no idea how to respond to it.

"You need to go to his house", Brooke said as she stood from the chair. She pulled Peyton off of her body and wiped the cheeks on both of their faces.

"He isn't there . . . remember?" she said with a laugh. Brooke continued to pull her to the door. Each step was as determined as the previous one.

"That's perfect", she said with a dimpled smile. It amazed Peyton how she could be hysterical crying one minute and genuinely smile the next.

"How is that perfect?" the blonde asked in confusion.

"Because, you need to read something and it will be a whole lot easier if he isn't there. I would have taken it, but that's a little crazy ex-girlfriend", Brooke said as she chuckled to herself. "But that shouldn't stop you from taking it", she added as she thought about their past.

"Take what? Brooke, what the hell are you talking about?" Peyton asked as she paused in front of the door.

"Just trust me, okay? I wouldn't steer you wrong", Brooke whispered with caring eyes. Peyton nodded and before she could grab her keys Brooke was shoving her away from the table. The front door opened and Peyton stopped in her tracks.

It smelled like rain.

_I will be, all that you want  
And gather myself together  
Cause you keep me from falling apart  
All my life, I'll be with you forever  
To get you through the day  
And make everything okay_

Lucas sighed as he closed the door behind him. He walked into the house and groaned as he thought about the conversation he was going to have with Haley. He figured she would have questions about last night and this morning and she would definitely find a way to relate everything that happened to his book. It was a bad idea to ask her to read it.

He stepped into the living room and stopped short at the sight of Chris Keller sitting on the couch. "Why are you in my brother's house when he's not home?" he asked as he sat beside the spiky haired man.

Chris turned his head and smirked. "Me and Haley are giving it another shot", Lucas scoffed and Chris let out a chuckle. "I'm waiting for Carrie. She and Haley are upstairs, we have a date in a little bit", he said as casually as he could, but Lucas noticed the glint in his eyes when he brought up the dark haired woman.

"How are things with you and Carrie?" he asked in interest.

Lucas watched as Chris tensed before shrugging nonchalantly. "You know, we're having a good time", he said with a sly smirk and wiggled his brows suggestively.

If they were having this conversation a few months ago Lucas would have shook his head in disgust and left the room. But he knew better by now. Chris was hiding how he felt through his dependable slime ball attitude.

That realization made his shake his head. If anyone had ever told him he would be friends with Chris Keller, the man he once considered a scum upon the earth, he would have laughed. He would have laughed even harder because he had slept with Peyton, but once upon a time so had Nathan. Lucas grimaced; he needed to stop thinking so much.

"Chris, come on", Lucas prodded. The thinner man sighed before he spoke.

"I love her", he whispered with conviction. Lucas smiled a somewhat proud smile. Chris had certainly matured from what he used to be.

"You should tell her", Lucas encouraged with a clap on Chris's back. He immediately shook his head.

"What if it's too soon? What if I say it and she just stares at me like I randomly grew another head?"

Lucas snorted, mostly because he knew exactly what to do. You sit back down, watch a movie and eat some popcorn.

"What if I say it and she never says it back? Like ever", Chris stressed with a grave expression.

Lucas opened his mouth, but closed it quickly. What if Peyton never said it back? What if she had truly moved on from him in the time it had taken him to realize he had never truly moved on from her? What if he had really lost his chance?

"Awe damnit", Chris let a noise escape his mouth. "It's raining", he grumbled as he nodded to the window. Lucas's head snapped around and his eyes widened.

She was good.

_I thought that I had everything  
I didn't know what life could bring  
But now I see, honestly_

She sat in the Classic Mercury Comet. The rain pounded down against the windows and the top of her car, but none of it truly registered. Her mind was somewhere else; another day, another year, anywhere but at this moment.

Why did life have a way of taking every line you've set up for yourself and bending it? Blurring those words you swore to yourself. It made you question everything you made yourself to believe as truth. Peyton Sawyer had been on this earth for twenty two years and she still didn't have an answer for this.

She had been here for what felt like hours and it may have been, but she didn't know. Her eyes hadn't moved from staring straight ahead. She was on a seemingly insignificant street, twenty feet from a seemingly insignificant stop sign. To anyone else this would have been a place of passing, not even worth a second glance or thought.

But to her, this was the start of it all.

A loud, pounding; louder than and off beat from the rain caused her to snap her neck to the side of her car. She could vaguely make out the figure that stood outside. The voice that was muffled by the water caused her to flinch from surprise.

"Open the door, Sawyer."

Her hand moved to the automatic lock and the click that followed was like music to the man's ears. The passenger side door flew open and a drowned, dark haired Scott jumped in. He muttered a curse before turning fully to look at his former lover.

He had been out for a run; part of rehab when it started to rain. As he jogged past the street the stopped car caught his eyes. It wasn't moving, but its break lights weren't on. Concerned that someone might be stranded in this weather he changed directions and headed for the automobile. Once he realized he recognized the car he felt his heart speed up and he broke out into a sprint.

"Are you insane? You could get fucking kill out here doing this!" his deep voice bellowed, but Peyton didn't even flinch. "It's pouring rain out there. I can barely see two feet in front of me and you're sitting in your car, in the middle of the street!" he waited for a response and was about to yell some more until she opened her mouth.

"This isn't a major street, and with the rain I doubt people are going to be driving around", her voice was distant and her eyes were hollow.

She may have been in this car, but she was a million miles away from it.

He decided to let the silence linger and wait for her to speak. Nathan watched as the windows fogged from the breath's they were releasing mixed the sudden change in temperature. When they were sixteen the windows would have been fogged for a whole different reason. He smirked at the amount of times they'd had sex in the backseat . . . in the front seat . . . hell, **just** the driver's seat. He shook his head and let out a low, inaudible chuckle. He thought about the people they once were and who they were now and it amazed him that they were even friends.

"Lucas loves me", she whispered.

Nathan glanced at her before focusing his eyes ahead, trying to find what she was looking at. He furrowed his brows at the empty street and instead focused on her words. He didn't know where she had gotten that sudden epiphany from, but it was about damn time.

"Yeah", he said simply.

Peyton's eyes snapped to his, but he didn't change his position from staring out the windshield. She shook her head and gripped the steering wheel a little tighter. On some level she was hoping he would disagree with her, but at the same time that would break her already delicate heart. It would be easier though, if he didn't love her.

She wouldn't have to worry about her entire world crashing down around her . . . again.

The entire time she had this inner debate Nathan watched her. The confusion and questioning that past through her eyes pained his heart. She was lost and scared and he completely understood. Lucas was the one person who knew how to give Peyton the world.

And in turn, he was the one person who knew how to take it all away.

"You love Lucas", he stated.

Peyton felt her heart climb up into her throat before flip flopping back down. Her shoulders slumped and she let out a breath. Her eyes caught sight of the red cover of the soon to be published novel, hiding the words that were written with passion and optimism. The second book he had ever written. The book that was about yearning and longing and unbridled desire. The book that was about a scientist and a comet.

The book that was all about her.

"Yeah", she said in agreement.

_You're the one thing I got right  
The only one I let inside  
Now I can breathe, cause you're here with me  
_

He walked into his room from the hallway and shook his hair out in hopes of slightly drying it. Chris and Carrie had given him a ride back, but with the way it was coming down outside he was dripping wet. He took a step into his room before he jerked back in shock.

The mass of dispirited curls held his attention. And he moved with baited breaths. Like a naturalist that had just spotted the worlds most exotic creature. If he moved too fast he would scare her off. And he couldn't do that because he needed this.

He needed this badly.

She was lost in her own world. Sitting at his desk with her head bowed in thought. Her curls stuck to her head and her clothes were extra tight. She had obviously gotten caught in the rain. She shifted in his chair and a small strip of skin grabbed his attention. He applied his weight on the floorboard and was about to take another step until the creaking noise caused her body to stiffen.

"Peyton", he said frantically.

He was sure at any moment he would see the flash of blonde hair dart from his room. Leaving a path of smoke in her path as she flew past him. As the seconds ticked by and she remained seated he felt a bit of promise building in him.

And then she spoke;

"It was more than just a comet because of what it brought to his life; direction, beauty, meaning. There were many who couldn't understand and sometimes he walked among them, but even in his darkest hours he knew in his heart that someday it would return to him and his world would be whole again and his belief in God, and love, and art would be reawakened in his heart", she managed to finish without crying.

He closed his eyes and threw his head back. He had to hand it to his friends. They knew how to get involved.

"Peyton, I can explain", he said because he figured it was the right thing to say. He really couldn't explain anything. The emotions he felt for her were indescribable. Nobody had written about the passion and love they shared.

Actually, yes **he** had.

She stood from the chair and made a b-line for the side door. He followed quickly. He used his foot as a stopper so that the door couldn't open wide enough for a person to fit through. She clenched her hands and he could see the frustration etched into her face. Before either of them knew it, she was crying.

She pointed to the stack of papers on his desk and spoke. "How can **I** know that?" she questioned as the tears leaked from her eyes. "How do **you** know that even if we do get back together it will work?" she asked helplessly. "We've had so many chances", she said in exasperation and it was more to herself than an actual statement to the other blonde. She ran a hand through her dampened curls and bit her trembling lip. "Maybe our times run out", she justified. She wanted to believe her words, with every ounce she could, but they were Lucas and Peyton and they had been doing this dance since they were sixteen.

That's the past six years of their lives if either of them are counting.

_And if I let you down  
I'll turn it all around  
Cause I would never let you go_

Lucas stood in front of her with a furrowed brow. He was a writer. Words were his lifeline, but nothing seemed to fit this moment. She didn't need to hear any more heartfelt terms about how he cared for her and how he loved her. She needed proof. He reached for her hand – the hand that had grabbed for the doorknob earlier – and placed it on his chest.

"Do you feel this?" he questioned softly.

Peyton nodded unsurely. At this point she _felt_ a ton of things. The furious thumping of his heart was burning against her palm. The heat radiating from his body through the thin material of his damp t-shirt seared her hand. That in and of itself was causing her to feel a whole mess of things. Things that would ultimately get them into trouble.

"It beats like this whenever you're around. Whenever someone says your name. Whenever I smell lavender or vanilla. If I hear a new song on the radio, or whenever I hear one of Mia's songs."

He stopped his words and clamped his larger hand tighter around hers. He wanted to make a point with what he was saying. He let the silence hang in the air and when he was sure that Peyton was soaking it all in he spoke again;

"I can feel it in my heart, Peyton. Can't you?"

As the words left his mouth she was brought back to another day. She could smell the smell that all high schools have. As she looked into his eyes a sixteen year old Lucas was looking back at her. The way he smelled, his touch, the way his lips felt against hers; they were still imprinted on her brain and she wasn't sure if she was having an incredibly realistic flashback or if this was really happening.

"_Even if we could be together, what makes you think it would work?"_

"_Cause I feel it in my heart . . . don't you?"_

_She looked into his steel blue eyes and felt a safety wash over her that she had never felt before. Without hesitation she answered._

"Yes", she whispered.

He didn't dare stop the grin that spread to his perfect lips and before she could form a second thought about where this leaved them and where this might bring them, those perfect lips covered hers.

Kissing her probably wasn't the best idea right now, but he didn't care. The way he saw it if she decided she never wanted anything to do with him again he couldn't say he didn't try his hardest to be with her. Besides, kissing her in that moment made all the sense in the world.

_I will be, all that you want  
And gather myself together  
Cause you keep me from falling apart  
All my life, I'll be with you forever  
To get you through the day  
And make everything okay  
_

She should have pushed him away. She should have slapped him hard against his cheek. She should have yelled that this wasn't going to end like that. She should have stormed from the house and left him standing there alone.

But she didn't.

She melted into the kiss and his body. It was different compared to the kiss they had shared all those months ago in her former office. This was a simple press of lips to lips, but they both relished in the feeling. She stood on the tips of her toes and rested her forehead against his.

She needed air. She desperately needed to breathe, but she didn't want to break the contact. When her body betrayed her and she took in a shuddered breath Lucas pulled back and watched as she gasped for air to fill her deflated lungs.

"I'm sorry I wasn—"

His sentence was cut short as Peyton's lips attacked his. She threw her arms around his neck and his hands automatically went to her hips. Her tongue skimmed the seam of his lips and without hesitation he allowed its entrance. Peyton moaned at the contact and it was the sweetest noise to fill his ears in years.

His hands roamed her body and Peyton delighted in the feeling. Her shirt had ridden up when she latched her arms around his neck and that strip of skin that Lucas spotted earlier **felt** even better then it looked. Her skin was hot compared to the wet shirt she was wearing.

Peyton's fingers trailed down his body and stopped at the hem of his shirt. She peeled the t-shirt from his torso and took the moment to appreciate his body. This was usually a male's priority and she knew that, but she didn't care. Lucas Scott had filled out nicely since the last time she had seen him and there was nothing wrong in letting him know that.

"You're so hot", she mumbled as she kissed his neck.

He chuckled from deep in his throat and the rumble tickled Peyton's lips as she kissed his Adam's apple. He threw his head back and savored the feeling of her lips against his body. She stopped suddenly and he looked down at her. Her lips hovered above his heart and instead of placing chaste, frantic kisses there she was frozen, almost in thought.

_Cause without you I can't breathe  
I'm not gonna ever, ever let you leave  
You're all I've got, you're all I want  
Yeah  
_

Her nose nuzzled against the spot. She thought about the times she almost lost him and she knew that if it were to ever happen again, she would be done for. She may have been his comet, but in the same sense he was hers. If she ever lost him, her life would lose its direction. She placed a long, almost pleading kiss to his heart; silently begging it to stay strong for as long as she was alive. Peyton could swear she felt it beat against her lips, but that may have been her own adrenaline pumping.

He could feel his eyes burning at her gestures and it made him want her even more. He placed both his hands on her shoulders and brought her back up to his eye level. He ripped her shirt from her body and she gasped in shock. Lucas's lips hit her neck and the force pushed her back. Slamming the side door shut in the process.

They were older than this. They were smarter than this, but right now they weren't them. They weren't a record executive and an accomplished novelist.

They were the tortured artist and the tortured athlete.

They were two teens who never got their fair chance at love.

"You're so _fucking_ sexy", he said gruffly.

His hot breath tickled her ear and sent shivers throughout her entire body. She giggled at his words and it was nearly enough to make him explode. His head moved down and she let out an unexpected moan as he sucked on her collar bone. As he bit and licked the flesh she panted heavily.

Peyton hooked one leg around his waist and he took the hint. Lucas pulled back from the reddened mark and Peyton caught the smirk on his face. His hands skimmed her body; starting from her shoulders and working down. Tracing every curve he knew by heart, they traveled along the small of her back and settled on her bottom. He cupped it and easily brought her body off the floor.

He pushed her back against the door and Peyton ran her hands through his blonde hair. He nuzzled her neck and she squirmed at the light stubble she felt for the first time since they started. She arched her back and was more than aware of his excitement. He moved away from her neck and stared into her eyes. She leaned forward and kissed him deeply. Lucas moved from the door and spun the around.

He playfully threw her onto the bed and he watched as her body bounced with the motions of the bed. He hadn't taken the time to admire her before, but he was definitely dead on. She was _fucking sexy._ She smiled and sent him a come hither look that made him growl.

Lucas crawled up the length of her body and hovered above her, his weight resting on both his arms. He licked his lips before placing them on her stomach. Peyton moaned at the open mouth kisses he left as he passed her belly button. His fingers unsnapped her jeans and pulled the zipper down with ease. She helped him shimmy out of the water clung denims and in the process pulled her panties with them. He stood and threw the clothes to the side of his room.

The sight of this blonde angel, naked on his bed made him even harder – and he didn't think that was possible.

Considering she hadn't been naked in front of him in years, she wasn't the least bit self conscious. That was because whenever Lucas looked at her like that he wasn't judging or comparing her to someone else. He was truly admiring her beauty and that was an amazing feeling.

She sat up and quickly undid his best buckle. She purposely brushed against him and he let out a deep, throaty, groan. The button and zipper were next. The jeans fell to the floor and his boxers didn't take long to follow. She kissed along his happy trail and Lucas felt his body move on its own accord. She moved to his hip bones and licked a circular pattern. Lucas felt goose-bumps rise along his body. Her eyes rolled up to meet his and he gently pushed her down onto the bed.

Their frantic movements were gone and all that was left was slow, gentle movements. Peyton realized that this was how it should be. Yes, love was scary, but when wasn't it?

_And without you I don't know what I'd do  
I can never, ever live a day without you  
Here with me, do you see,  
You're all I need_

"I love you", Peyton said as she looked into his eyes. He smiled the largest smile his mouth could handle and he let out a breath he had been unknowingly holding in for years. He leaned down to kiss her forehead.

"I love you too, Blondie", he whispered. Her heart soared at the words. The last thing she wanted to do was make this emotional, but she couldn't help it.

"Don't leave me again, okay?"

Her voice was fragile and it tore at Lucas's heart. The fact that he had ever made her this broken and scared absolutely killed him. He cupped her face with his large hands and nuzzled his nose against hers.

"A piece of me was always with you", he whispered. Before she could question it he kissed her again and she fell back into the pool of ecstasy. She lifted her hips to meet his. He grunted and nodded against her lips. They broke the kiss and took in breath before he positioned himself.

He entered her and time stood still. They stopped breathing and let the moment soak in. the feeling was so unbelievable that they couldn't believe they had ever been apart. They were made for each other in every single aspect.

Peyton shifted her hips and Lucas began a rhythm. Once, twice, a third time. Every thrust and every pump was like one step closer to home. They increased in frequency and Peyton felt her toes curling. Not moment later, she moaned out in pleasure. Lucas felt his stomach tighten at the noises that escaped her mouth and the look on her face, he quickly followed.

He rolled over and pulled her against his body. She curled into the crook of his arm and placed a kiss to the side of his neck. He sighed contently as she prolonged the kiss; a red spot formed and she smiled triumphantly.

Their breaths evened out and as Peyton drew and invisible circle on his chest her mind wandered back to his statement before they had made love. She maneuvered so that she was resting her weight on her elbows and she looked into his blue eyes.

"What did you mean when you said that I always had a piece of me with you?"

He smiled at her question and was surprised she waited this long to ask it. He craned his neck and placed a kiss to her temple. She closed her eyes and took in the feeling.

"You have my heart, Peyton. Always have and always will", he said matter of factly. She didn't know why, but that statement caused her eyes to burn. There was something about that that was so profound that it truly touched her very core. His scientifically flawed heart was hers. It beat for her. It pumped for her.

_It kept him alive for her._

She didn't know when exactly it happened, but somewhere between his words and that last thought her body began to shake. Lucas wrapped his arms around her and held her as tight as he could without smothering her. The sobs continued to attack her body and Lucas continued to hold her.

"I love you so much", she said through the tears and strangled breaths.

He pulled her closer to him and smoothed out her hair. Her tears hit his bear chest and he felt his own eyes burning. She nestled closer to him. She needed to be closer to him. She was physically lying on top of him before she felt content.

"So, so much", she whimpered.

_And I will be, all that you want  
And gather myself together  
Cause you keep me from falling apart  
And all my life, I'll be with you forever  
To get you through the day  
And make everything okay_

Hours passed and as he rolled over to pull her into his arms he grabbed on to nothing. He opened his eyes and glanced around the room. He smiled when he saw her hair. He grabbed his boxers from the side of the bed and stood to walk over to her.

"I guess rain isn't only Nathan and Haley's thing", he said with a chuckle. She met his eyes and laughed with him until she got the mental image of her best friends having sex; Lucas caught on and scrunched his nose.

"What are you doing?" he asked as he sat beside her. He watched as she stiffened slightly and that's when his eyes caught sight of the opened drawer.

"I was looking for a flashlight because with the way it was raining I was worried it was going to cut the power", he smiled at the look on her face; she hated the rain mixed with the darkness. "Instead of a junk drawer I found . . . well what did I find?" she asked delicately as she sorted through the various memories.

Lucas let out a breath. "You found my Peyton Drawer", he said with a cheeky smile. She smiled back at him and he was glad she wasn't freaked out.

"I knew you still had it", she said accusingly. He rubbed the back of his neck and shrugged sheepishly. She rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"I knew you still had it, but I can't **believe** you kept these things", she mumbled with a smile as she picked through the familiar items. An envelope caught her eye and she picked it up with a frown.

"I don't remember this", she said. He sucked in a breath and carefully took it from her.

"It's a letter my mom wrote . . . after I asked her for the ring", he said the last part quietly and she understood why. "Umm, it's also what ultimately broke up Lindsey and I", he whispered.

"Well, what's it say?" she asked in interest. He handed the letter down and she shook her head.

"Read it to me", she requested. She scooted closer to him and rested her head against his bare chest. He wrapped his arm around her waist and brought his face flush against the side of hers. He opened the flap and took out the white paper. He cleared his throat and spoke;

_My Boy,  
_

_Words cannot describe how proud you've made. You're a strong minded and strong willed man. I know you're young and many people wouldn't agree to their child wanting to get married, but they don't have you for a son. You're smart and I know you'll do the right thing._

_Besides, you don't need to marry right away. You could always wait a year._

_Now, onto the real reason I'm even considering this. Peyton Sawyer is a beautiful woman; mind, features, and soul. Peyton is everything you've ever wanted in a woman and she's everything I could ever want in a daughter-in-law. She's a good one, Lucas. _

_Don't ever let her go, but if something ever does happen, don't worry. You two are meant to be together and I know that you will always find a way back. True love stories always have a happy ending. It may not be quick and it won't be easy, but it will happen. Believe in that._

_Keith would be proud._

_Love, mom._

Peyton wiped at the tears as Lucas re-folded the letter and tucked it away. He kissed her cheek and tasted the salty water on her face. He took in a breath and let it out slowly. He hadn't read that in years. It amazed him at just how well his mother knew him.

"I'm sorry", he said suddenly. She titled her head and looked up at him with questioning eyes. "For not waiting, for ambushing you, for—" she placed her finger to his lips and shushed him.

"Let's not focus on that", she said as she shook her head; her curls following her movements. He nodded and internally found a new level of respect for her that he didn't think was possible. She was putting all of it aside so that they could start over.

She reached forward and pulled something else from the drawer.

"What's this?" she asked as she held up the zip-lock bag with a dried flower in it. He blushed and took it from her. He didn't want to tell her the whole so instead he smirked and spoke;

"I'm gonna love you forever, Peyton Sawyer."

With his words and that flower she connected the dots and her love for this man grew. She knew they would have their fights; every couple did. She knew it wouldn't be easy; it never was. She knew they still had some things to sort through; every person has a set of baggage.

But at the end of the day, she knew they would be okay.

_I will be, all that you want  
And gather myself together  
Cause you keep me from falling apart  
And all my life, I'll be with you forever  
To get you through the day  
And make everything okay_

* * *

Let me know what you think!

**A/N:** Sorry, this took so long. This could not have been done without you guys. The reviews kept me going and really let me know how you felt about the way things were going. The response I got for this story was better than any other's I've gotten (considering it's one of my shorter stories). I love you all and I hope you enjoyed this last installment.


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